Do younger teens really do nothing all summer?

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old is really doing nothing. He has calisthenics training 2x per week in our local park. That’s it. He spends his time sleeping a lot, working out at home, reading manga, some drawing, gaming alone or with friends, and seeing friends in person only 1-2 times a week. Now, for example, he is binge watching Brooklin 99 as he came home from a sleepover and he’s tired. We require him to read non-manga books daily and no screens before lunch. We are going to travel for two weeks. He is very happy with his lazy vacation time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

I'm fine with kids being bored. I am not fine with kids being bored and being unwilling to do anything about it. I am fine with them having time to hang out and loaf around. I am not fine with them hanging out and loafing around alone all day every day all summer.

I don't think they have to be busy with every minute scheduled. But when other kids are (1) at other scheduled activities (2) traveling or (3)just want to hang out and loaf around alone all day, there aren't even options for hanging out with OTHERS.

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect kids to do SOMEthing once in a while. Summer break is long. 9 weeks of utter solitude, boredom, and video games is a waste of time and experiences and opportunities that they won't have time for later in life. And having SOME experiences now helps them define themselves, their interests, their goals for the future.

[Anonymous]

My teens (not young teens) kids have always achieved a LOT outside of the home. Academic/scholastic stuff, volunteer work, travel, internships etc. They also excel at school and are pretty social. All in all, really good kids.

However, at home they are like lazy slugs who can only play video games and sleep the whole day away. They do not even lift a finger to do even one small task. They don't make their beds, don't launder their clothes, don't eat at the dining table, don't pick their plates and glasses from where they are sitting, don't shower unless they have to leave the house. Just behave like Jabba the Hutt. Ok, we were ok with them as long as they were excelling at school. My fault, I know, I know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bad soap operas, game shows and Saved By the Bell reruns are SO much better than algorithmic, targeted apps like YouTube. We were also stuck with whatever was on TV (no streaming on demand) so we were much more likely to get bored and do something else.

It seems really foolish and naive to equate our childhood screentime to today.

I’d love to fill you in on my Ms Pac Man days. It’s pretty common for people to think the things in their generation were great and the new generation is going to hell in a hand basket. It just means we are now old.

You clearly have not watched the Social Dilemma.

I have, but I’m still not buying what you wrote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old does nothing structured, but he bikes, works out, plays music, meets friends, takes photos, does darkroom photography, runs family errands, watches YouTube a lot, reads a little, devours new music. Has a weekly gig that gets him like $50 for 2-3 hrs of work.

perfect!

[Anonymous]

Seems like a lot of people are mentioning boys. Do girls similarly do
Nothing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids didn't do much at that age. No one was available to drive them all over the place in the middle of the work day. It was hard enough navigating band camp in the eweeks leading up to 9th grade.

In our experience, camps typically wanted CITs to be former camp attendees anyway. They never did local day camps.

Neither one was barred from attending the college of their choice due to having a lazy summer at age 14.

It isn't about college applications at this age. And it isn't JUST about college applications at mid-teen ages. It's about finding something to do to occupy your time other than sitting on your duff playing video games; interacting with peers once in a while; getting out of the house once in a while; living a life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Childhood is fleeting. While my kids do have some daily responsibilities, the older one significantly more than the younger one, I’m good with their summer being lazy at times. The school year is crazy, much more than when I was a kid.

I agree, I also can't understand why not having a bunch of camps of extracurriculars automatically means "doing nothing?"

Probably because you can’t put it on a college application…. That’s all some of the parents in this area care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like a lot of people are mentioning boys. Do girls similarly do
Nothing?

Babysit

[Anonymous]

My 13-year-old is less busy than in previous summers, but I did make him find something he enjoys (sailing, lacrosse, conditioning workouts at the gym) and do it most of the summer. I don't like him lounging around gaming all day. It was much easier when he went to full-day summer camps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like a lot of people are mentioning boys. Do girls similarly do
Nothing?

Good question. I’m one of the pps with a boy doing nothing structured. I also have a 17 yo DD, rising senior, that only has two instruments classes, an hour each, and an hour of therapy a week, and goes to a gym. She is way more motivated to get out of the house than my boy but also didn’t want to be very busy during her last vacation before college. She spends her time practicing her instruments, going with grandparents for errands, reading and hanging out with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

I'm fine with kids being bored. I am not fine with kids being bored and being unwilling to do anything about it. I am fine with them having time to hang out and loaf around. I am not fine with them hanging out and loafing around alone all day every day all summer.

I don't think they have to be busy with every minute scheduled. But when other kids are (1) at other scheduled activities (2) traveling or (3)just want to hang out and loaf around alone all day, there aren't even options for hanging out with OTHERS.

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect kids to do SOMEthing once in a while. Summer break is long. 9 weeks of utter solitude, boredom, and video games is a waste of time and experiences and opportunities that they won't have time for later in life. And having SOME experiences now helps them define themselves, their interests, their goals for the future.

It doesn’t sound like you are actually fine with boredom.

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old is doing mostly nothing. He's taking the required FCPS personal finance class online and does one hour of math tutoring a week, plus a few hours of physical therapy/personal training for a sports injury. He's sleeping 11-12 hours a day and also hits the pool with friends or goes to MLB games. We have an international vacation coming up and then sports practices/games will start mid-August.

He's busy during the school year so I'm ok with this lazy summer, especially as both DH and I work out of the home and driving him around isn't feasible (it's hard enough with the medical appts).

He's grown several inches this summer already too! I think it's all the sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Childhood is fleeting. While my kids do have some daily responsibilities, the older one significantly more than the younger one, I’m good with their summer being lazy at times. The school year is crazy, much more than when I was a kid.

I agree, I also can't understand why not having a bunch of camps of extracurriculars automatically means "doing nothing?"

Probably because you can’t put it on a college application…. That’s all some of the parents in this area care about.

No. Its because unless you are an Amish family or something, we all know what the teens "doing nothing" are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year old (almost 15) claims that we are being unfair because we require him to be a CIT at a half day camp (9-1) and volunteer one evening per week this summer. He claims most of his friends are either doing nothing, or a 2 hour per morning crew team thing and then nothing. Could this be right? I feel like we are leaving him with ample free time, which he generally wastes playing video games.

He is probably right. And he doesn't get to sleep in, which would make my 14yo very unhappy. He is loving life right now.