Do younger teens really do nothing all summer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

That IS parenting. Not parenting would be letting your kid rot in their room “existing” on their screen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

I'm fine with kids being bored. I am not fine with kids being bored and being unwilling to do anything about it. I am fine with them having time to hang out and loaf around. I am not fine with them hanging out and loafing around alone all day every day all summer.

I don't think they have to be busy with every minute scheduled. But when other kids are (1) at other scheduled activities (2) traveling or (3)just want to hang out and loaf around alone all day, there aren't even options for hanging out with OTHERS.

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect kids to do SOMEthing once in a while. Summer break is long. 9 weeks of utter solitude, boredom, and video games is a waste of time and experiences and opportunities that they won't have time for later in life. And having SOME experiences now helps them define themselves, their interests, their goals for the future.

It doesn’t sound like you are actually fine with boredom.

:lol:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

I don’t want mine hanging out on video games and it’s a good time to explore their interests.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with video games. And most of you mean it’s a good time for your kids to explore YOUR interests.

Not in moderation. But 14 year olds don't do moderation.

And if my teens were exploring THEIR interests, I wouldn't consider that "nothing." But they aren't. They don't have interests. and they aren't exploring or searching for any.

Zero interests. They probably have some and you discouraged it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

I don’t want mine hanging out on video games and it’s a good time to explore their interests.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with video games. And most of you mean it’s a good time for your kids to explore YOUR interests.

Not in moderation. But 14 year olds don't do moderation.

Mine gets extremely bored with video games after an hour or two. Or maybe an hour or two of video games is extreme to you, but moderate to me?

Me too, and hour or two seems perfect to me. I was like that back in the day with Nintendo. I don't get kids who could be glued to it for 8 hours straight if allowed.

I think that most kids wouldn’t play 8 yrs of straight video games. But 2 hours definitely, plus another couple hours of YouTube short garbage, or scrolling social media, or another couple hrs of endless texts to friends. Most teens could easily spend multiple hours on screens doing various things if left to do whatever they want all day while parents went to work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

That IS parenting. Not parenting would be letting your kid rot in their room “existing” on their screen.

But, a parent can do that without requiring extracurriculars or camps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like a lot of people are mentioning boys. Do girls similarly do
Nothing?

Girls at this age are better at organizing social plans, and they play video games like Roblox but it’s not a full time job for most like it is boys. They also are much more likely to be hired as babysitters.

The first thing being key. My 14 yo texts her friends and they make little plans with each other a couple days a week. Boys this age aren’t as good at that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like a lot of people are mentioning boys. Do girls similarly do
Nothing?

Girls at this age are better at organizing social plans, and they play video games like Roblox but it’s not a full time job for most like it is boys. They also are much more likely to be hired as babysitters.

The first thing being key. My 14 yo texts her friends and they make little plans with each other a couple days a week. Boys this age aren’t as good at that

True!

[Anonymous]

I'm letting my 13yo do nothing. He has a couple of family trips and has been doing some odd jobs for neighbors but no camps, volunteering, or organized sports. He's bored (and somehow cannot comprehend that I actually have a job and must work). My summers were like this when I was a kid and this is the only chance he'll ever have for an extended break from schedules.

The boredom is leading to some creativity already, and he's become so talkative, which is a treat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Childhood is fleeting. While my kids do have some daily responsibilities, the older one significantly more than the younger one, I’m good with their summer being lazy at times. The school year is crazy, much more than when I was a kid.

I agree, I also can't understand why not having a bunch of camps of extracurriculars automatically means "doing nothing?"

Probably because you can’t put it on a college application…. That’s all some of the parents in this area care about.

No. Its because unless you are an Amish family or something, we all know what the teens "doing nothing" are doing.

Sleeping? Watching youtube?

[Anonymous]

Most lower middle class kids of two working parents either do nothing or do stuff around the house, like clean and cook dinner. Source: what I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

I don’t want mine hanging out on video games and it’s a good time to explore their interests.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with video games. And most of you mean it’s a good time for your kids to explore YOUR interests.

Not in moderation. But 14 year olds don't do moderation.

Mine gets extremely bored with video games after an hour or two. Or maybe an hour or two of video games is extreme to you, but moderate to me?

Me too, and hour or two seems perfect to me. I was like that back in the day with Nintendo. I don't get kids who could be glued to it for 8 hours straight if allowed.

I think that most kids wouldn’t play 8 yrs of straight video games. But 2 hours definitely, plus another couple hours of YouTube short garbage, or scrolling social media, or another couple hrs of endless texts to friends. Most teens could easily spend multiple hours on screens doing various things if left to do whatever they want all day while parents went to work

And how much time do YOU spend on screens, Mom? (Oh I forgot, DCUM is so much healthier than video games and you for sure only check in for five minutes once a day. Give us a break. If you’re on this site railing against screen time your kids know darn well that you’re a hypocrite.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

That IS parenting. Not parenting would be letting your kid rot in their room “existing” on their screen.

But, a parent can do that without requiring extracurriculars or camps.

Not the type of parent you’re responding to. Those type’s don’t even know how to carry on a concept with their kids. That’s what the paid instructors are for.

[Anonymous]

I allowed my teen to stay home for a week (between the sleep away camp and the family trip), and he begged to be signed up for an activity. I found him a coding camp, and he's pretty content there. Before that he did half day camps, e.g., music camp, tennis, cooking.

[Anonymous]

My 16 yo couldn’t find a job. He doesn’t swim so lifeguarding was out and couldn’t commit to being a camp counselor because of his soccer. Since middle school, he’s had pretty laid back summers which is ok with me since he is so over scheduled all school year. But he is far from doing nothing. Most days include a few hours of either morning or evening training and he plays in a HS summer league. He is relaxing around the house mid-day but that’s ok with me since he’s so active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is pretty much same age and has mostly done nothing. He has 3 weeks of camps coming up.

He’s done a bit of family travel and will do a bit more.

He seems very bored and hopefully will be inspired to work next summer.

Same here. 13.5