Do younger teens really do nothing all summer?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yep. My 12 year old is largely doing nothing. He has club swim 6 days a week and some math tutoring and some tennis lessons but that’s about it.

Math tutor and tennis lessons don’t involve any socializing. Swimming maybe but hopefully he has some social events with his peers.

Why don’t tennis lessons involve socializing? They could be group lessons

Sports practice doesn't involve a ton of socializing because you're busy practicing.

Sounds like a person who has never seen a group of teen boys playing a sport.

Seriously. Even when my boys are just hanging out, they end up playing a sport (like shooting baskets).

[Anonymous]

Maybe everyone on DCUM lives within easy walking distance of countless jobs and volunteer opportunities, or maybe people's WFH jobs have plenty of time to be out and about during the day, but I never understand why more people don't mention how taxing and time-consuming it is to drive kids all over the place for these activities during the workday

We live in a suburb, but public transportation is decent. DC can take the bus or if he wants to go into DC, he can take the metro. I don't have to drive him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. My 12 year old is largely doing nothing. He has club swim 6 days a week and some math tutoring and some tennis lessons but that’s about it.

Math tutor and tennis lessons don’t involve any socializing. Swimming maybe but hopefully he has some social events with his peers.

The summer is only about 6 weeks. Toss in a family vacation or two and that can leave only 4 weeks. It’s not that much.

How is it only six weeks? My kids have nine weeks off school

middle school age. They start some Jump Start program at the school during the first week of August and then hold Open House and then Orientation the second week of August. So, August feels back to school for us early.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow it. My young teens volunteered many hrs a week age 11-13 then worked 14 yo on. Preparation for the working world.

That's sad.

+1 when did they have time to be kids?

Childhood is preparation and training for adulthood.

What’s adulthood for?

Right? I could agree with older teens, 16+ maybe needing to prep for adulthood, but kids? Now, some responsibilities and work, appropriate amounts and at appropriate times, sure. But, childhood is supposed to be fun and at least somewhat carefree. Once your childhood is over its gone forever

Says who? Who came us with this ideal that childhood is supposed to be completely idyllic and carefree. Once childhood is gone life continues on. People still have friends, family, work, enjoyment, learning, etc.

Who wouldn't want their kid to have at least a little bit of a udyllic, carefree childhood? Because adulthood sure isn't.

Belive it or not, some kids enjoy being in activities/sports/music they enjoy and not just free-roaming the neighborhood causing havoc as their parents are too lazy to parent them. My kid can be in no activities, but they aren't free roaming the neighborhood or on social media/videos all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. My 12 year old is largely doing nothing. He has club swim 6 days a week and some math tutoring and some tennis lessons but that’s about it.

Math tutor and tennis lessons don’t involve any socializing. Swimming maybe but hopefully he has some social events with his peers.

The summer is only about 6 weeks. Toss in a family vacation or two and that can leave only 4 weeks. It’s not that much.

How is it only six weeks? My kids have nine weeks off school

middle school age. They start some Jump Start program at the school during the first week of August and then hold Open House and then Orientation the second week of August. So, August feels back to school for us early.

My kids are in middle school and don't start school until the week before labor day. there is no jump start where we are and just a short orientation the week before middle school starts for those in 6th grade. it is definitely a 9 week summer for us (my kids are in camp for most of it)

[Anonymous]

One of my kids will only be home and unscheduled for a total of 8 days all summer including weekends (flying straight from a sleepaway camp to meet us for a vacation). But he loves his camps and has a great summer.

[Anonymous]

It does go fast.

[Anonymous]

I do a ton of driving for my teens and yes I can see where it wouldn’t be feasible for some families. My husband certainly doesn’t do much because of his job.

That said my teens choose all of their activities so it’s not like I’m making them. They like some downtime but not too much. Yes it’s technically easier on me the weeks they don’t have stuff. But they are happier when they do.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow it. My young teens volunteered many hrs a week age 11-13 then worked 14 yo on. Preparation for the working world.

That's sad.

+1 when did they have time to be kids?

Childhood is preparation and training for adulthood.

What’s adulthood for?

Right? I could agree with older teens, 16+ maybe needing to prep for adulthood, but kids? Now, some responsibilities and work, appropriate amounts and at appropriate times, sure. But, childhood is supposed to be fun and at least somewhat carefree. Once your childhood is over its gone forever

Says who? Who came us with this ideal that childhood is supposed to be completely idyllic and carefree. Once childhood is gone life continues on. People still have friends, family, work, enjoyment, learning, etc.

Who wouldn't want their kid to have at least a little bit of a udyllic, carefree childhood? Because adulthood sure isn't.

Belive it or not, some kids enjoy being in activities/sports/music they enjoy and not just free-roaming the neighborhood causing havoc as their parents are too lazy to parent them. My kid can be in no activities, but they aren't free roaming the neighborhood or on social media/videos all day.

Your 14 year old can’t “free roam” the neighborhood without causing havoc? He sounds incompetent, and yet you call other parents lazy?

[Anonymous]

I have such fond memories of doing nothing. I was a high achiever and was a bit over scheduled. My adult life has been insane and definitely over scheduled. I look back fondly on memories of being a teen in the summer- sun tanning with friends, laying at the pool, just rollerblading by myself and sleepovers. I remember having stacks of books and actually having time to read! If I read now it’s at the expense of other things which make me more stressed later.

I have actively tried to give my kids low key summers. They deserve it. I have my kids come up with a few goals for summer and they do have to hit them. Theirs are different- one is working on a language on duo lingo, the other is finishing a list of books.

As long as the kids are hard working and making good grades, summer is their downtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow it. My young teens volunteered many hrs a week age 11-13 then worked 14 yo on. Preparation for the working world.

That's sad.

+1 when did they have time to be kids?

Childhood is preparation and training for adulthood.

What’s adulthood for?

Right? I could agree with older teens, 16+ maybe needing to prep for adulthood, but kids? Now, some responsibilities and work, appropriate amounts and at appropriate times, sure. But, childhood is supposed to be fun and at least somewhat carefree. Once your childhood is over its gone forever

Says who? Who came us with this ideal that childhood is supposed to be completely idyllic and carefree. Once childhood is gone life continues on. People still have friends, family, work, enjoyment, learning, etc.

Who wouldn't want their kid to have at least a little bit of a udyllic, carefree childhood? Because adulthood sure isn't.

Belive it or not, some kids enjoy being in activities/sports/music they enjoy and not just free-roaming the neighborhood causing havoc as their parents are too lazy to parent them. My kid can be in no activities, but they aren't free roaming the neighborhood or on social media/videos all day.

Your 14 year old can’t “free roam” the neighborhood without causing havoc? He sounds incompetent, and yet you call other parents lazy?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids didn't do much at that age. No one was available to drive them all over the place in the middle of the work day. It was hard enough navigating band camp in the eweeks leading up to 9th grade.

In our experience, camps typically wanted CITs to be former camp attendees anyway. They never did local day camps.

Neither one was barred from attending the college of their choice due to having a lazy summer at age 14.

Thank you, PP. Maybe everyone on DCUM lives within easy walking distance of countless jobs and volunteer opportunities, or maybe people's WFH jobs have plenty of time to be out and about during the day, but I never understand why more people don't mention how taxing and time-consuming it is to drive kids all over the place for these activities during the workday. When my kids were that age, there were no jobs that would hire them within walking distance, and volunteer opportunities required adult supervision for those under 16. I love the idea of having teens gain work experience, but the options out there tended to increase our parental stress and workload so much that it wasn't worth it.

Well, many of us are in DC or close in suburbs and the kids can walk to jobs/activities or take the metro.

DC is right in the title of this website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow it. My young teens volunteered many hrs a week age 11-13 then worked 14 yo on. Preparation for the working world.

That's sad.

+1 when did they have time to be kids?

Childhood is preparation and training for adulthood.

What’s adulthood for?

Right? I could agree with older teens, 16+ maybe needing to prep for adulthood, but kids? Now, some responsibilities and work, appropriate amounts and at appropriate times, sure. But, childhood is supposed to be fun and at least somewhat carefree. Once your childhood is over its gone forever

Says who? Who came us with this ideal that childhood is supposed to be completely idyllic and carefree. Once childhood is gone life continues on. People still have friends, family, work, enjoyment, learning, etc.

Who wouldn't want their kid to have at least a little bit of a udyllic, carefree childhood? Because adulthood sure isn't.

Belive it or not, some kids enjoy being in activities/sports/music they enjoy and not just free-roaming the neighborhood causing havoc as their parents are too lazy to parent them. My kid can be in no activities, but they aren't free roaming the neighborhood or on social media/videos all day.

I never said that they didn't or that activities were a bad thing. All I asked is why is it that if a kid isn't doing caps/extracurriculars/tutoring ect. It's seen as doing nothing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow it. My young teens volunteered many hrs a week age 11-13 then worked 14 yo on. Preparation for the working world.

That's sad.

+1 when did they have time to be kids?

Childhood is preparation and training for adulthood.

What’s adulthood for?

Right? I could agree with older teens, 16+ maybe needing to prep for adulthood, but kids? Now, some responsibilities and work, appropriate amounts and at appropriate times, sure. But, childhood is supposed to be fun and at least somewhat carefree. Once your childhood is over its gone forever

Says who? Who came us with this ideal that childhood is supposed to be completely idyllic and carefree. Once childhood is gone life continues on. People still have friends, family, work, enjoyment, learning, etc.

Who wouldn't want their kid to have at least a little bit of a udyllic, carefree childhood? Because adulthood sure isn't.

And kids get that when their babies, toddlers, little kids and bigs kids. If you want that to continue through their teens years that’s fine. But then folks shouldn’t be surprised about teens doing nothing or not able to find employment in the summer. Childhood is fleeting because its importance is growth and preparation for adulthood. Just because are trying to ignore nature doesn’t change facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow it. My young teens volunteered many hrs a week age 11-13 then worked 14 yo on. Preparation for the working world.

That's sad.

+1 when did they have time to be kids?

Childhood is preparation and training for adulthood.

What’s adulthood for?

Right? I could agree with older teens, 16+ maybe needing to prep for adulthood, but kids? Now, some responsibilities and work, appropriate amounts and at appropriate times, sure. But, childhood is supposed to be fun and at least somewhat carefree. Once your childhood is over its gone forever

Says who? Who came us with this ideal that childhood is supposed to be completely idyllic and carefree. Once childhood is gone life continues on. People still have friends, family, work, enjoyment, learning, etc.

Who wouldn't want their kid to have at least a little bit of a udyllic, carefree childhood? Because adulthood sure isn't.

And kids get that when their babies, toddlers, little kids and bigs kids. If you want that to continue through their teens years that’s fine. But then folks shouldn’t be surprised about teens doing nothing or not able to find employment in the summer. Childhood is fleeting because its importance is growth and preparation for adulthood. Just because are trying to ignore nature doesn’t change facts.

I'm not ignoring anything or saying that teens shouldn't have responsibilities. But, there needs to be a balance because they are kids and not adults.