Is suburban living considered a failure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

I think you have issues. Because where does this exist and only in the suburbs? The worst places to live in America are unquestionably poor urban neighborhoods. The worst traffic are in cities. The cries of racism are always in cities

I live in a nice suburban neighborhood and don't have any of your imaginary ills.

“I’m very happy in the suburbs! Please! Please believe me! I’m in so much debt - I need this!”

Sounds awesome bro.

An endless life of searching for parking, social isolation and crippling debt to keep up with a bunch of vapid losers next door.

So cool.

I have no debt. What are you babbling about? I spend more time searching for parking *in the city* than I do in the suburbs.

I lived in urban areas for years. I lived in NYC and London and HK. It was great. I now live in a nice suburban neighborhood. It's great too, if for different reasons.

This is a silly thread.

[Anonymous]

Correction … my best friend son was at my house and he broke his arm..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

SP, to be clear, I sometimes feel like I have no option but to consider it, and it just seems so deeply depressing and hurtful to my family... and to offset it with what? HOA obligations to nuke my yard with pesticides and loneliness? Ugh.

We live in a suburb and there is a huge movement not to use pesticides and it's a vibrant, caring community. You're letting your stereotypes get in the way of figuring out whether it might actually work for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

I think you have issues. Because where does this exist and only in the suburbs? The worst places to live in America are unquestionably poor urban neighborhoods. The worst traffic are in cities. The cries of racism are always in cities

I live in a nice suburban neighborhood and don't have any of your imaginary ills.

“I’m very happy in the suburbs! Please! Please believe me! I’m in so much debt - I need this!”

Sounds awesome bro.

An endless life of searching for parking, social isolation and crippling debt to keep up with a bunch of vapid losers next door.

So cool.

I have no debt. What are you babbling about? I spend more time searching for parking *in the city* than I do in the suburbs.

I lived in urban areas for years. I lived in NYC and London and HK. It was great. I now live in a nice suburban neighborhood. It's great too, if for different reasons.

This is a silly thread.

Previous PP is ridiculous and makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

No, the poster above you has a point about sidelines. The further you go from the city, the crazier the sideline parents are.
Otherwise, I don't see urban/suburban as winning/failing because it's purely taste specific if you want certain amenities or want to avoid certain pitfalls. It also sounds like people are describing the worst of the opposing choice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think living in a walkable suburb, close to metro, with good public schools and county services, but still close enough in to enjoy city amenities frequently is the dream for a lot of people (at least for me it is). I live along the orange line in Arlington and am so happy raising my family here. My house isn’t new and big, but it’s nicely updated with a yard big enough for kids to run around plus several parks within a less than half a mile walk. Not all suburbs are created equal.

Again, I’m just not sure why you need to be so close to the metro. Where are you going all the time?

I’m reading and walking and hiking and gardening. Where are you going?

I’m a NP so I don’t know what you mean “again.” But our family takes the metro to museums, Nats games, events like the Easter Egg Roll, to the airport, etc. or even just within Arlington when we don’t feel like driving or the other parent has our only car. My kids think it’s fun to ride metro. I like that they’re growing up learning how to use transit so they can hopefully read subway maps in other cities when they travel. They also are used to riding in Ubers. When they are teens they can have independence without being tethered to needing a car to get places. But we still get all the perks of suburban living. It comes with a price tag though, which shows how in demand urban-ish suburbs are.

OK, so we do actual art we play actual sports, My kids find it fun to ride a dirtbike.

Listen, my kids Have friends in the city and they are not metro anywhere they’re all taking Uber.

Ridiculousness of you saying that teens are shackled to a car yet you get into Metro bus or an Uber or metro I mean girl Come on. Your dependent on transportation consist of metal and gas.

Or bike trails and sidewalks. We have those too. I like having options. I never said transportation doesn’t use gas so that is a weird tangent. Not being “shackled to a car” means my kids can go places without needing to always have access to a family car, needing to deal with finding parking, etc. And I have no idea what you mean “actual” art and sports. Like kids closer to the city don’t do those things?

Also, I didn’t even insult where you or anyone else lives. I just commented on what I like about the suburb I live in and that I don’t feel like living here is a failure. For whatever you’re really defensive about this.

The kids in the suburbs, also go places without being “shackled to a car”.

They spend a lot more time in nature than indoors or riding in a concrete submarine.

Your kids do not go anywhere without using some sort of transportation.

The thing about parking in the suburbs is it’s everywhere. There’s no finding parking you just drive up and park.

My son is at my house and I drive them to the hospital and she’s like drop me off and then you can go find a place to park and I’m like there’s parking right here in front of the hospital. You literally don’t have parking at your hospitals.

Great I’m glad your city kids are rock, climbing, kayaking, biking, doing art, horseback riding… Yet you don’t mention any of those things you just talk about riding in a concrete submarine to other buildings did you go inside and watch other people do stuff

I literally mentioned our yard, parks, and bike trails in my posts so I’m not sure where you get that I only talked about my kids riding the metro. Mine spend plenty of time outside (they play a lot of ball sports and do hiking/camping through scouts). We aren’t really horse people, but I’m glad you have access to that if you like it.

Also, you specifically asked where we ride the metro to so that is why I listed the places we go on the metro. I never said that is all we do so not sure why you’d assume my kids are riding it all day to buildings.

You are so weirdly angry about me saying I enjoy living in Arlington. I’m not sure why you have such a strange hang up about it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

LOL! Your garden wouldn’t even be the size of one of my flower beds.

And responses like this are why I want nothing to do with suburban “culture”. Desperate consumerism to prove you’re better than the people in the ticky tack box next door who you hate.

DP. Your response makes no sense. It's a fact that a DC row house garden is likely not going to be the same size as a suburban one, and a gardener might not be satisfied with that limitation. Has nothing to do with consumerism, but with what each of us enjoys doing with our spare time. As a gardener, I enjoy puttering around in my garden, listening to bird song, providing habitat for them, and all in relative peace and quiet. Other people might find that boring.

I don’t garden to impress anyone. I don’t care how big the size of your garden is. The tit for tat, keep up with the jones mentality is what is so gross.

Maybe you didn’t think of that but it’s telling that your initial response to hearing that someone has a garden they enjoy is to insist yours is bigger.

Not that poster, but it's a valid point that if one loves to garden, a bigger yard than a row house yard may be preferable. I posted earlier about enjoying a larger yard for gardening than what we had in front our row house, dealing with rats ruining vegetable plants (which can happen in the burbs but dear/rabbits better than rats), and community gardening didnt work for me.

I also hated being out front with my garden with neighbors constantly passing by.

I wasn't always into gardening, but once I got into it, felt frustrated with city gardening

That's cool And if you want lots of space to do lots of gardening, then moving somewhere with big plots is maybe a good idea.

But it's really absurd to think that people can't enjoy nice things, like gardening, just because they live in the city. What I really objected to is the immediate "mine is bigger" response.

Agree that gardening can certainly be done in the city. If I had time (I don't), I would have loved to volunteer with a guerilla gardening organization in DC. But really this whole thread is about people having different needs and preferences and priorities and one isn't better than the other.

Sure, but people from the suburbs seem so desperate for validation. I do not care if their garden is bigger—what kind of person would ever try to put someone else down over garden size?

The people from the suburbs are not seeking validation. They are just living. They are not in angst about others' choices as you are. you are the one who is so confused that some do not want to live in the city.

I don’t know, there is one poster on here who is rabid about the idea of anyone wanting to live near a metro station.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

LOL! Your garden wouldn’t even be the size of one of my flower beds.

And responses like this are why I want nothing to do with suburban “culture”. Desperate consumerism to prove you’re better than the people in the ticky tack box next door who you hate.

DP. Your response makes no sense. It's a fact that a DC row house garden is likely not going to be the same size as a suburban one, and a gardener might not be satisfied with that limitation. Has nothing to do with consumerism, but with what each of us enjoys doing with our spare time. As a gardener, I enjoy puttering around in my garden, listening to bird song, providing habitat for them, and all in relative peace and quiet. Other people might find that boring.

I don’t garden to impress anyone. I don’t care how big the size of your garden is. The tit for tat, keep up with the jones mentality is what is so gross.

Maybe you didn’t think of that but it’s telling that your initial response to hearing that someone has a garden they enjoy is to insist yours is bigger.

Not that poster, but it's a valid point that if one loves to garden, a bigger yard than a row house yard may be preferable. I posted earlier about enjoying a larger yard for gardening than what we had in front our row house, dealing with rats ruining vegetable plants (which can happen in the burbs but dear/rabbits better than rats), and community gardening didnt work for me.

I also hated being out front with my garden with neighbors constantly passing by.

I wasn't always into gardening, but once I got into it, felt frustrated with city gardening

That's cool And if you want lots of space to do lots of gardening, then moving somewhere with big plots is maybe a good idea.

But it's really absurd to think that people can't enjoy nice things, like gardening, just because they live in the city. What I really objected to is the immediate "mine is bigger" response.

Agree that gardening can certainly be done in the city. If I had time (I don't), I would have loved to volunteer with a guerilla gardening organization in DC. But really this whole thread is about people having different needs and preferences and priorities and one isn't better than the other.

Sure, but people from the suburbs seem so desperate for validation. I do not care if their garden is bigger—what kind of person would ever try to put someone else down over garden size?

The people from the suburbs are not seeking validation. They are just living. They are not in angst about others' choices as you are. you are the one who is so confused that some do not want to live in the city.

I don’t know, there is one poster on here who is rabid about the idea of anyone wanting to live near a metro station.

they are only responding to your posts. that is what everyone is doing, responding to the broad assumptions and stereotypes you are making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

LOL! Your garden wouldn’t even be the size of one of my flower beds.

And responses like this are why I want nothing to do with suburban “culture”. Desperate consumerism to prove you’re better than the people in the ticky tack box next door who you hate.

DP. Your response makes no sense. It's a fact that a DC row house garden is likely not going to be the same size as a suburban one, and a gardener might not be satisfied with that limitation. Has nothing to do with consumerism, but with what each of us enjoys doing with our spare time. As a gardener, I enjoy puttering around in my garden, listening to bird song, providing habitat for them, and all in relative peace and quiet. Other people might find that boring.

I don’t garden to impress anyone. I don’t care how big the size of your garden is. The tit for tat, keep up with the jones mentality is what is so gross.

Maybe you didn’t think of that but it’s telling that your initial response to hearing that someone has a garden they enjoy is to insist yours is bigger.

Not that poster, but it's a valid point that if one loves to garden, a bigger yard than a row house yard may be preferable. I posted earlier about enjoying a larger yard for gardening than what we had in front our row house, dealing with rats ruining vegetable plants (which can happen in the burbs but dear/rabbits better than rats), and community gardening didnt work for me.

I also hated being out front with my garden with neighbors constantly passing by.

I wasn't always into gardening, but once I got into it, felt frustrated with city gardening

That's cool And if you want lots of space to do lots of gardening, then moving somewhere with big plots is maybe a good idea.

But it's really absurd to think that people can't enjoy nice things, like gardening, just because they live in the city. What I really objected to is the immediate "mine is bigger" response.

Agree that gardening can certainly be done in the city. If I had time (I don't), I would have loved to volunteer with a guerilla gardening organization in DC. But really this whole thread is about people having different needs and preferences and priorities and one isn't better than the other.

Sure, but people from the suburbs seem so desperate for validation. I do not care if their garden is bigger—what kind of person would ever try to put someone else down over garden size?

The people from the suburbs are not seeking validation. They are just living. They are not in angst about others' choices as you are. you are the one who is so confused that some do not want to live in the city.

I don’t know, there is one poster on here who is rabid about the idea of anyone wanting to live near a metro station.

they are only responding to your posts. that is what everyone is doing, responding to the broad assumptions and stereotypes you are making.

What stereotype and assumptions am I making? OP asked if living in the suburbs is a failure. I responded as someone who lives in the suburbs (Arlington is not part of the city) that I enjoy the suburbs and some offer a lot of the good stuff the city has to offer along with the good stuff the suburbs have to offer. I never said anything negative about any other suburb. But one particular PP latched on and took everything I said as some sort of personal affront.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a weird question. If I had more money, I’d live by Bethesda, not Rockville. I wouldn’t live in DC proper. I enjoy not getting shot or carjacked

Because of the fentanyl epidemic, most suburban areas are far more dangerous than urban areas.

Ever seen an open air drug market in the suburbs?

Weird that you think fentanyl is a suburban phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

LOL! Your garden wouldn’t even be the size of one of my flower beds.

And responses like this are why I want nothing to do with suburban “culture”. Desperate consumerism to prove you’re better than the people in the ticky tack box next door who you hate.

DP. Your response makes no sense. It's a fact that a DC row house garden is likely not going to be the same size as a suburban one, and a gardener might not be satisfied with that limitation. Has nothing to do with consumerism, but with what each of us enjoys doing with our spare time. As a gardener, I enjoy puttering around in my garden, listening to bird song, providing habitat for them, and all in relative peace and quiet. Other people might find that boring.

I don’t garden to impress anyone. I don’t care how big the size of your garden is. The tit for tat, keep up with the jones mentality is what is so gross.

Maybe you didn’t think of that but it’s telling that your initial response to hearing that someone has a garden they enjoy is to insist yours is bigger.

Not that poster, but it's a valid point that if one loves to garden, a bigger yard than a row house yard may be preferable. I posted earlier about enjoying a larger yard for gardening than what we had in front our row house, dealing with rats ruining vegetable plants (which can happen in the burbs but dear/rabbits better than rats), and community gardening didnt work for me.

I also hated being out front with my garden with neighbors constantly passing by.

I wasn't always into gardening, but once I got into it, felt frustrated with city gardening

That's cool And if you want lots of space to do lots of gardening, then moving somewhere with big plots is maybe a good idea.

But it's really absurd to think that people can't enjoy nice things, like gardening, just because they live in the city. What I really objected to is the immediate "mine is bigger" response.

Agree that gardening can certainly be done in the city. If I had time (I don't), I would have loved to volunteer with a guerilla gardening organization in DC. But really this whole thread is about people having different needs and preferences and priorities and one isn't better than the other.

Sure, but people from the suburbs seem so desperate for validation. I do not care if their garden is bigger—what kind of person would ever try to put someone else down over garden size?

The people from the suburbs are not seeking validation. They are just living. They are not in angst about others' choices as you are. you are the one who is so confused that some do not want to live in the city.

I don’t know, there is one poster on here who is rabid about the idea of anyone wanting to live near a metro station.

they are only responding to your posts. that is what everyone is doing, responding to the broad assumptions and stereotypes you are making.

What stereotype and assumptions am I making? OP asked if living in the suburbs is a failure. I responded as someone who lives in the suburbs (Arlington is not part of the city) that I enjoy the suburbs and some offer a lot of the good stuff the city has to offer along with the good stuff the suburbs have to offer. I never said anything negative about any other suburb. But one particular PP latched on and took everything I said as some sort of personal affront.

I've noticed a lot of the pro-suburbs people do this kind of stuff. They seem like they need to put other people down to feel better about the situation they find themselves in.

City slickers are the ones who tend to sneer at those who prefer not to live in rats nests or in a cloud of weed smoke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

LOL! Your garden wouldn’t even be the size of one of my flower beds.

And responses like this are why I want nothing to do with suburban “culture”. Desperate consumerism to prove you’re better than the people in the ticky tack box next door who you hate.

DP. Your response makes no sense. It's a fact that a DC row house garden is likely not going to be the same size as a suburban one, and a gardener might not be satisfied with that limitation. Has nothing to do with consumerism, but with what each of us enjoys doing with our spare time. As a gardener, I enjoy puttering around in my garden, listening to bird song, providing habitat for them, and all in relative peace and quiet. Other people might find that boring.

I don’t garden to impress anyone. I don’t care how big the size of your garden is. The tit for tat, keep up with the jones mentality is what is so gross.

Maybe you didn’t think of that but it’s telling that your initial response to hearing that someone has a garden they enjoy is to insist yours is bigger.

Not that poster, but it's a valid point that if one loves to garden, a bigger yard than a row house yard may be preferable. I posted earlier about enjoying a larger yard for gardening than what we had in front our row house, dealing with rats ruining vegetable plants (which can happen in the burbs but dear/rabbits better than rats), and community gardening didnt work for me.

I also hated being out front with my garden with neighbors constantly passing by.

I wasn't always into gardening, but once I got into it, felt frustrated with city gardening

That's cool And if you want lots of space to do lots of gardening, then moving somewhere with big plots is maybe a good idea.

But it's really absurd to think that people can't enjoy nice things, like gardening, just because they live in the city. What I really objected to is the immediate "mine is bigger" response.

Agree that gardening can certainly be done in the city. If I had time (I don't), I would have loved to volunteer with a guerilla gardening organization in DC. But really this whole thread is about people having different needs and preferences and priorities and one isn't better than the other.

Sure, but people from the suburbs seem so desperate for validation. I do not care if their garden is bigger—what kind of person would ever try to put someone else down over garden size?

The people from the suburbs are not seeking validation. They are just living. They are not in angst about others' choices as you are. you are the one who is so confused that some do not want to live in the city.

There are many on DCUM who are seeking validation. Everyone makes different choices. I grew up in the suburbs. I live in the city. Raised my kids in the city. I think my kids will end up in th suburbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

LOL! Your garden wouldn’t even be the size of one of my flower beds.

And responses like this are why I want nothing to do with suburban “culture”. Desperate consumerism to prove you’re better than the people in the ticky tack box next door who you hate.

DP. Your response makes no sense. It's a fact that a DC row house garden is likely not going to be the same size as a suburban one, and a gardener might not be satisfied with that limitation. Has nothing to do with consumerism, but with what each of us enjoys doing with our spare time. As a gardener, I enjoy puttering around in my garden, listening to bird song, providing habitat for them, and all in relative peace and quiet. Other people might find that boring.

I don’t garden to impress anyone. I don’t care how big the size of your garden is. The tit for tat, keep up with the jones mentality is what is so gross.

Maybe you didn’t think of that but it’s telling that your initial response to hearing that someone has a garden they enjoy is to insist yours is bigger.

I’m a different poster than the one you responded to. Their post was factual. Not putting anyone down, just stating that larger yards offer more gardening opportunities. Hardly a controversial statement. You’re awfully defensive about all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

LOL! Your garden wouldn’t even be the size of one of my flower beds.

And responses like this are why I want nothing to do with suburban “culture”. Desperate consumerism to prove you’re better than the people in the ticky tack box next door who you hate.

DP. Your response makes no sense. It's a fact that a DC row house garden is likely not going to be the same size as a suburban one, and a gardener might not be satisfied with that limitation. Has nothing to do with consumerism, but with what each of us enjoys doing with our spare time. As a gardener, I enjoy puttering around in my garden, listening to bird song, providing habitat for them, and all in relative peace and quiet. Other people might find that boring.

I don’t garden to impress anyone. I don’t care how big the size of your garden is. The tit for tat, keep up with the jones mentality is what is so gross.

Maybe you didn’t think of that but it’s telling that your initial response to hearing that someone has a garden they enjoy is to insist yours is bigger.

I’m a different poster than the one you responded to. Their post was factual. Not putting anyone down, just stating that larger yards offer more gardening opportunities. Hardly a controversial statement. You’re awfully defensive about all this.

no, i said I garden to, and the immediate response was "mine is bigger!" that is defensive.

As I've said, I don't garden to please you. I love the size of my garden. Do I want a bigger one? None of your business—I'm in the city, enjoying garden, and you're in the burbs, panicked and insisting your garden is bigger as if that means anything. So sad.

Certainly hit a nerve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a weird question. If I had more money, I’d live by Bethesda, not Rockville. I wouldn’t live in DC proper. I enjoy not getting shot or carjacked

Because of the fentanyl epidemic, most suburban areas are far more dangerous than urban areas.

Ever seen an open air drug market in the suburbs?

Weird that you think fentanyl is a suburban phenomenon.

I have. Go to your nearest Walmart or Target parking lot, wait about 15 minutes, you WILL see hand-to-hand sales. It's not as bad as rural areas, but it is bad. It's an epidemic that has no geographic boundary, but opiods reversed the traditional drug trends. It's messed up.

+1 there are absolutely suburbs with a lot more criminal activity than my frankly sleepy DC neighborhood. I go to a Target out in the burbs about once a month because there is nothing like that near my neighborhood in DC, and in the last few years it's gone continuously downhill and become quite seedy while my DC neighborhood is mostly high SES with booing retail and restaurants and only gets better.

It's really kind of a case by case situation.