ILs pushing their religion on our family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stay away from religious freaks. They cannot think for themselves.

Or maybe they have and just reached a different conclusion from you and want to offer you the chance to live in that joy.

But you know….potayyyto/potahhhto

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ILs are extremely religious. Every gift for the kids is religious based. DH and I have always been respectful although we don't share the same beliefs. They have started pushing more with texts, emails, books, videos and pulling DH or I aside that we need to find religion. DH is ready to completely cut them off since they can't seem to respect our beliefs. Is there any way to talk to someone like this? No matter how often we say no thank you, they keep pushing.

It’s a way to share and be together. People celebrate strangers’ religions. Think of the diversity religion activities that schools hold, ex. Diwali. Why not celebrate with your family?

Your husband probably feels they want to control him, that’s why he’s feeling resentful, but think about when your kids turn on you for teaching them to be rigid.

The kids are already learning about being rigid from the ILs.

They’ll learn a lot more from the flexibility of their own parents.

Parents job is to protect them from insane radicals like the ILs.

You must be into censorship and helicopter parenting. Also, sit down with the religion=insanity schtick, you sound crazy rigid yourself.

Pp is right, kids learn flexibility from their parents. Someday they’ll leave home and encounter rigid folks of all religions and none, and they need to learn from their parents how to deal with it.

If you're going to harass my children, then yes I will "censor" that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay away from religious freaks. They cannot think for themselves.

Or maybe they have and just reached a different conclusion from you and want to offer you the chance to live in that joy.

But you know….potayyyto/potahhhto

No. Stop. If someone is not interested in your religion you need to back off.

I seriously hope OPs DH cuts off the religious freak parents. This thread has shown so few can actually be rational (and thank you to those who were!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d ignore all religious texts emails etc- completely ignore and not reply at all. They will eventually stop sending. If they bring it up with you in person, just say “Larla, Larlo, we have already been over this” and immediately change the subject. They will eventually stop asking you. Gray rock.

Let DH handle on his end however he wants- and follow his lead even if that means a cutoff.

The reason gray rocking doesn’t work as consistently with people like this is because most likely, one or more times a week, they’re gathering with a group of like minded people who encourage them to continue harassing their families to join the group. When I was a kid I was forced to go to evangelical churches. We’d have to share who we witnessed to that week at Sunday school. I’d usually make up scenarios and pretend I did the Lord’s because of the scorn we would receive if we weren’t pushy enough salespeople. Some of these groups are like MLMs with the constant unwanted messaging about how they can improve everyone’s life, and the tone deafness to the responses.

Also, if they’re true believers (whether it’s god, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or essential oils they believe in), if their faith says they must share the good news, then share they must. If they don’t share and no one is smote real hard, that allows some room for questions.

Furthermore, for everyone saying it’s a sign of love and that makes it ok, or that there’s no harm because what if they’re right-maybe they just saved your kids? It’s as much about control as it is love, and in many fundamentalist cultures it’s more about control than love. And who’s to say they’re picking the right religion to save my kids? There are so many choices on the menu, and I really don’t want anyone encouraging them to pick something with a side of misogyny or homophobia.

The problem (as in logic flaw) with your otherwise very rational argument is that it is only applicable from the viewpoint of how best to navigate THIS existence and dismisses/discounts the idea that those who are so fervently convinced that there IS an afterlife and that Jesus is who he says he is (“the way, the truth, and the life. No one gets to the father but through me”) then it doesn’t matter what you think of they are right. So as another poster said before—-the risk of offending is worth it to them because the risk of not accepting Christ and winding up on hell for eternity looks far far worse to them.

Well in this case, they dont accept your salvation AND you dont get to see the kids. Win/win for some people.

[Anonymous]

Religion is indoctrination full stop.

Religion is the largest population where sex abuse of children occurs.

OP tell you inlaws to take a hike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your beliefs? You make it sound like ILs are one religion and you're another. I always find these types of posts somewhat suspect, a troll starting a topic out of boredom due to the scarcity of details. Is your hypothetical DH really going to completely cut off his parents for proselytizing? This is pretty extreme and not to mention childish and selfish.

I would tell your hypothetical DH to suck it up, smile politely, and just change the topic.

I thought OP made it pretty clear. ILs pushing their religion on our family DH and I have always been respectful although we don't share the same beliefs.

OP I think your dh should be upfront. Tell them he is on the verge of cutting them off if they do not stop. After that follow his lead.

No, it's not clear. "Their religion" = what does that mean? Are they Southern Baptist and their son married a Jewish woman and is raising the kids Jewish? Or is it the ILs are devoutly Christian and the son and DIL are culturally Christian meaning they celebrate Christmas but otherwise don't go to church, meaning they have no real belief.

Why would you cut off your parents because they are religious and want to share their faith? Cutting off is pretty serious. What does it even mean? We are no longer talking? That's pretty drastic. I have different political views from my parents but I don't "cut" them off for it.

I find it fascinating that for some people on here the default response is to cut off family members even just for differing opinions. People who say that always strike me as the ones with the real problems, not the family members they're cutting off.

Exactly this. It’s ridiculous that people are advising that the OP and DH cut off parents over this.

Not ridiculous. If the OP and DH are not religious, they have every right not to have their kids (the Grandkids) constantly bombarded with religious paraphernalia. The GP are entitled to their beliefs, just as the DH and OP are entitled to theirs. However, the OP and DH are the kid's parents so they get 100% control over their kids lives regarding religion. If they don't want you to talk about it at all, the GP need to shut up and follow the rules or accept the consequences (not seeing their son and his family).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s be clear here. The in laws are not coming from a place of love, they are coming from a place of indoctrination. Big difference.

Some religions really push evangelizing as a core principle. Churches in many of these religions are looking at their aging congregation and empty coffers with a heavier push to force the younger generation back in which isn’t being successful.

OP you can’t leave your children unsupervised with these people.

Dramatic much? Hardly think exposure to some wacky grandparents is going to lure kids into doing what grandma wants. My MIL was widowed and part of reinventing herself was becoming a vegan. She really believes it’s a better way to live. She won’t shut up about it. We politely listen while eating our hamburgers. People like this end up turning people off to their cause.

Does your MIL tell your kids (say 5 and 7 yo) that they are going to rot in hell and burn in hell because they are not vegan? I suspect not. Does your MIL constantly tell your kids they can ONLY eat vegan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d ignore all religious texts emails etc- completely ignore and not reply at all. They will eventually stop sending. If they bring it up with you in person, just say “Larla, Larlo, we have already been over this” and immediately change the subject. They will eventually stop asking you. Gray rock.

Let DH handle on his end however he wants- and follow his lead even if that means a cutoff.

The reason gray rocking doesn’t work as consistently with people like this is because most likely, one or more times a week, they’re gathering with a group of like minded people who encourage them to continue harassing their families to join the group. When I was a kid I was forced to go to evangelical churches. We’d have to share who we witnessed to that week at Sunday school. I’d usually make up scenarios and pretend I did the Lord’s because of the scorn we would receive if we weren’t pushy enough salespeople. Some of these groups are like MLMs with the constant unwanted messaging about how they can improve everyone’s life, and the tone deafness to the responses.

Also, if they’re true believers (whether it’s god, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or essential oils they believe in), if their faith says they must share the good news, then share they must. If they don’t share and no one is smote real hard, that allows some room for questions.

Furthermore, for everyone saying it’s a sign of love and that makes it ok, or that there’s no harm because what if they’re right-maybe they just saved your kids? It’s as much about control as it is love, and in many fundamentalist cultures it’s more about control than love. And who’s to say they’re picking the right religion to save my kids? There are so many choices on the menu, and I really don’t want anyone encouraging them to pick something with a side of misogyny or homophobia.

The problem (as in logic flaw) with your otherwise very rational argument is that it is only applicable from the viewpoint of how best to navigate THIS existence and dismisses/discounts the idea that those who are so fervently convinced that there IS an afterlife and that Jesus is who he says he is (“the way, the truth, and the life. No one gets to the father but through me”) then it doesn’t matter what you think of they are right. So as another poster said before—-the risk of offending is worth it to them because the risk of not accepting Christ and winding up on hell for eternity looks far far worse to them.

It's not a risk of offending them. They are 100% already offended! It's a question of why the ILs think their ineffective tactics are in any way helpful to anyone's salvation. And it seems like no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ILs are extremely religious. Every gift for the kids is religious based. DH and I have always been respectful although we don't share the same beliefs. They have started pushing more with texts, emails, books, videos and pulling DH or I aside that we need to find religion. DH is ready to completely cut them off since they can't seem to respect our beliefs. Is there any way to talk to someone like this? No matter how often we say no thank you, they keep pushing.

It’s a way to share and be together. People celebrate strangers’ religions. Think of the diversity religion activities that schools hold, ex. Diwali. Why not celebrate with your family?

Your husband probably feels they want to control him, that’s why he’s feeling resentful, but think about when your kids turn on you for teaching them to be rigid.

The kids are already learning about being rigid from the ILs.

They’ll learn a lot more from the flexibility of their own parents.

Parents job is to protect them from insane radicals like the ILs.

You must be into censorship and helicopter parenting. Also, sit down with the religion=insanity schtick, you sound crazy rigid yourself.

Pp is right, kids learn flexibility from their parents. Someday they’ll leave home and encounter rigid folks of all religions and none, and they need to learn from their parents how to deal with it.

A 5 yo doesn't need to "learn to deal with it" other than to know that grandma and grandpa won't be around us any longer, so they can no longer scare the shit out of you with ridiculously scary stories of how you will be harmed. The kids need to be protected from crazy dangerous people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay away from religious freaks. They cannot think for themselves.

Or maybe they have and just reached a different conclusion from you and want to offer you the chance to live in that joy.

But you know….potayyyto/potahhhto

No. Stop. If someone is not interested in your religion you need to back off.

I seriously hope OPs DH cuts off the religious freak parents. This thread has shown so few can actually be rational (and thank you to those who were!).

+1
Anyone is entitled to their religious beliefs. However, nobody is entitled to inflict them upon someone else who doesn't want to hear it. Smart people respond by removing themselves from the situation of crazy people who do not respect their boundaries. Doesn't matter if it's a friend or grandparent. You do the smart thing and remove them from your life and protect your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take OP's exact post and replace one word:

"ILs are extremely Satanic. Every gift for the kids is Satan based. DH and I have always been respectful although we don't share the same beliefs. They have started pushing more [Satanism] with texts, emails, books, videos and pulling DH or I aside that we need to find Satan. DH is ready to completely cut them off since they can't seem to respect our beliefs. Is there any way to talk to someone like this? No matter how often we say no thank you, they keep pushing [Satanism]."

Now lets hear responses from the religious apologists.

Um, you clearly don’t actually understand what modern Satanism is…

Um, you clearly don’t actually understand what a hypothetical is...

Armchair critic observation: hypothetical situations should be plausible to effectively illustrate a point.

What's so implausible about a Satanist proselytizing their beliefs? That no Satanist ever has, or ever could, or ever would be a proselytizing Satanist is implausible.

What does this have to do with your point about what you call "modern Satanism"? Does "modern Satanism" forbid proselytizing? Why are the Satanists in the hypothetical required to conform to your version of "modern Satanism"?

What is your purpose for responding, that's what I'm genuinely curious about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Religion is indoctrination full stop.

Religion is the largest population where sex abuse of children occurs.

OP tell you inlaws to take a hike.

Lots of things are “indoctrination.”

“Religion is the largest population where sex abuse of children occurs.” Nonsense. Family relationships, particularly parents, are the most frequent locus of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ILs are extremely religious. Every gift for the kids is religious based. DH and I have always been respectful although we don't share the same beliefs. They have started pushing more with texts, emails, books, videos and pulling DH or I aside that we need to find religion. DH is ready to completely cut them off since they can't seem to respect our beliefs. Is there any way to talk to someone like this? No matter how often we say no thank you, they keep pushing.

It’s a way to share and be together. People celebrate strangers’ religions. Think of the diversity religion activities that schools hold, ex. Diwali. Why not celebrate with your family?

Your husband probably feels they want to control him, that’s why he’s feeling resentful, but think about when your kids turn on you for teaching them to be rigid.

The kids are already learning about being rigid from the ILs.

They’ll learn a lot more from the flexibility of their own parents.

Parents job is to protect them from insane radicals like the ILs.

You must be into censorship and helicopter parenting. Also, sit down with the religion=insanity schtick, you sound crazy rigid yourself.

Pp is right, kids learn flexibility from their parents. Someday they’ll leave home and encounter rigid folks of all religions and none, and they need to learn from their parents how to deal with it.

DP. My kids have plenty of opportunitites to learn flexibility. There are fewer opportunities to learn how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. This kind of boundaries is one of the more difficult ones to maintain and, with my support and modeling, it's an excellent opportunity for me to show my kids how it's done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay away from religious freaks. They cannot think for themselves.

Or maybe they have and just reached a different conclusion from you and want to offer you the chance to live in that joy.

But you know….potayyyto/potahhhto

No. Stop. If someone is not interested in your religion you need to back off.

I seriously hope OPs DH cuts off the religious freak parents. This thread has shown so few can actually be rational (and thank you to those who were!).

Your stance on this summarizes the problem with our country right now. Liberals used to be the ones advocating for people’s right to speak their opinion at the top of their lungs no matter what it us! In fact, Aaron Sorkin, when writing the famous pivotal speech for the fictitious Democrat President Andrew Shephard in the movie An American President, was hammering home an ACLU talking point emohasizjng: “You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms.”
But I no longer recognize the liberal left of that era. At present, neither the ACLU nor any other group that used to identify themselves as “liberal Democrats” appear to be able to tolerate anyone expressing viewpoints that are not in complete alignment with their own.
It’s quite the shift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay away from religious freaks. They cannot think for themselves.

Or maybe they have and just reached a different conclusion from you and want to offer you the chance to live in that joy.

But you know….potayyyto/potahhhto

No. Stop. If someone is not interested in your religion you need to back off.

I seriously hope OPs DH cuts off the religious freak parents. This thread has shown so few can actually be rational (and thank you to those who were!).

Your stance on this summarizes the problem with our country right now. Liberals used to be the ones advocating for people’s right to speak their opinion at the top of their lungs no matter what it us! In fact, Aaron Sorkin, when writing the famous pivotal speech for the fictitious Democrat President Andrew Shephard in the movie An American President, was hammering home an ACLU talking point emohasizjng: “You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms.”
But I no longer recognize the liberal left of that era. At present, neither the ACLU nor any other group that used to identify themselves as “liberal Democrats” appear to be able to tolerate anyone expressing viewpoints that are not in complete alignment with their own.
It’s quite the shift.

+1 looks like PP thinks rational can only apply to folks who share her opinions.
Everyone else? = clearly irrational