What are “Lived Experiences” vs “Exeriences”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For applicants with unarguably privileged backgrounds, this essay is a minefield. Maybe there was someone in your life who had an outsized influence that you can focus on. But it seems like a no-win proposition for children of privilege.

This is why so many of you are so fired up about this question. Because your children are privileged and yes, this specific question is "no-win" for a privileged child, but here's the thing. Your privileged child has been winning in many other categories up until this exact point. You are angry that now at this point, you do not get to continue using that privilege to guarantee this particular success (admission to an elite college) for your child and you CAN buy this thing (paying full freight for a private college). About 45% of students at Ivy schools are full pay. The stats on how many Americans are rich are nebulous depending on what you consider rich, but if we use a basic number - how many households have a net worth over $2 million. That works out to right under 10% of households. What that number means is that rich kids are already incredibly overrepresented in those places. It is what it is.

I have yet to meet a parent of a child who is not privileged that has a problem with this question. Privileged children were overrepresented before in top colleges and they will continue to be. Pick another essay prompt and remember that 45% of the slots are going to 10% of the population. If your child doesn't get one of those slots, they will still have a decent life with whatever college they end up going to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For applicants with unarguably privileged backgrounds, this essay is a minefield. Maybe there was someone in your life who had an outsized influence that you can focus on. But it seems like a no-win proposition for children of privilege.

This is why so many of you are so fired up about this question. Because your children are privileged and yes, this specific question is "no-win" for a privileged child, but here's the thing. Your privileged child has been winning in many other categories up until this exact point. You are angry that now at this point, you do not get to continue using that privilege to guarantee this particular success (admission to an elite college) for your child and you CAN buy this thing (paying full freight for a private college). About 45% of students at Ivy schools are full pay. The stats on how many Americans are rich are nebulous depending on what you consider rich, but if we use a basic number - how many households have a net worth over $2 million. That works out to right under 10% of households. What that number means is that rich kids are already incredibly overrepresented in those places. It is what it is.

I have yet to meet a parent of a child who is not privileged that has a problem with this question. Privileged children were overrepresented before in top colleges and they will continue to be. Pick another essay prompt and remember that 45% of the slots are going to 10% of the population. If your child doesn't get one of those slots, they will still have a decent life with whatever college they end up going to.

Being a child of normal middle class is not a privilege
It's a normal thing. It should not be penalized.

Under-privileged kids will still have a decent life with whatever college they end up going to.

Merit should be the major measure.
I can understand social status as a tiebreaker.
That much I can understand, but middle class normal kids should not be penalized.

[Anonymous]

No one is being penalized. Just write your essay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking for your "lived experience" is just code for tell me how you're a victim. It sickens me that this is what colleges are looking for. No wonder young people see themselves first and foremost as "oppressed victims" rather than independent, strong, smart, capable human beings.

No, it isn't. You are choosing to interpret it this way, and if you are writing the essay, that will show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My immediate response is that the schools want to hear from the student. They have read so many essays that are written by parents and massaged by the many who proofread.
The take away is let your kid express who they are. Admissions people are not stupid and they can spot your little fraud.

+1

I have seen a few dozen and it is really obvious when people are cutting onions to work up some tears.

If your kid has any sense they'll just write something about getting a puppy for Christmas. Anything in their honest voice will do.

We are a military family that hunts a lot, belongs to hunting lodge, gets excited about hunting season and eating meat that we killed. Our daughter is a vegetarian animal rights activist that wants to study environmental law. She wrote about navigating those challenges in our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is being penalized. Just write your essay.

Asians have been penalized.

So is middle class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we live in one of the most advanced country.
why should being normal and middle class be penalized.

Such a fukced up system.

Being normal and middle class feels pretty great to me. If you feel like you are being penalized then maybe strike the "normal" from your statement? You have an abnormal belief that your good life is also a punishment

I don’t know. I do remember thinking that coming from a traumatic upbringing myself, I made great sacrifices to raise my kids in a way that was drama free. Went without so my kids would have a stable middle class life and then the college essays were like “tell us about your experiences standing in line at the food bank” and on some level you wonder if they aren’t in some way rewarding the bad parent who gambled away the grocery money or whatever. Not completely logical but it is a feeling that its possible to have.

[Anonymous]

A few years ago they broke this down on “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” of all places. An “experience” is when you are a little kid & you hit a wiffle ball real hard & it hits your father square in the nuts. A “lived experience” is when YOU are the guy who got hit in the nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t every experience “lived”?

What else is there “dead experiences”?

I hate these pretentious questions.

Well, they are intended to cultivate a class, so if you can't figure out what the question is asking or how to answer it, then that is valuable to the admissions team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we live in one of the most advanced country.
why should being normal and middle class be penalized.

Such a fukced up system.

Being normal and middle class feels pretty great to me. If you feel like you are being penalized then maybe strike the "normal" from your statement? You have an abnormal belief that your good life is also a punishment

I don’t know. I do remember thinking that coming from a traumatic upbringing myself, I made great sacrifices to raise my kids in a way that was drama free. Went without so my kids would have a stable middle class life and then the college essays were like “tell us about your experiences standing in line at the food bank” and on some level you wonder if they aren’t in some way rewarding the bad parent who gambled away the grocery money or whatever. Not completely logical but it is a feeling that its possible to have.

I don't think there would be any penalty to writing about your kids reflecting on what stability has meant for them if they draw insight from that--reflecting on what they personally drew from their experience of middle class stability.
I don't believe that 'victim' or 'hero' stories are wanted. Insightful essays are wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we live in one of the most advanced country.
why should being normal and middle class be penalized.

Such a fukced up system.

Being normal and middle class feels pretty great to me. If you feel like you are being penalized then maybe strike the "normal" from your statement? You have an abnormal belief that your good life is also a punishment

I don’t know. I do remember thinking that coming from a traumatic upbringing myself, I made great sacrifices to raise my kids in a way that was drama free. Went without so my kids would have a stable middle class life and then the college essays were like “tell us about your experiences standing in line at the food bank” and on some level you wonder if they aren’t in some way rewarding the bad parent who gambled away the grocery money or whatever. Not completely logical but it is a feeling that its possible to have.

No. Here's an example of an actual question:
"Princeton values community and encourages students, faculty, staff and leadership to engage in respectful conversations that can expand their perspectives and challenge their ideas and beliefs. As a prospective member of this community, reflect on how your lived experiences will impact the conversations you will have in the classroom, the dining hall or other campus spaces. What lessons have you learned in life thus far? What will your classmates learn from you? In short, how has your lived experience shaped you?"

If you don't believe that the life experience you have given your children has shaped them in a way that would make them a valuable contributor to life on campus, that's really a shame. I bet they are great kids with a lot to offer. Students coming from stability with a strong moral upbringing is something valuable on campus. Let them write their own essay about who they are and why they are who they are. There is an essay there. Also, your kids know you made sacrifices, and they probably know your personal history. If you don't see how that has shaped their world view, hopefully they do, because it has. A stable upbringing with the added awareness of what it took to get there is a life perspective that is valuable on campus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For applicants with unarguably privileged backgrounds, this essay is a minefield. Maybe there was someone in your life who had an outsized influence that you can focus on. But it seems like a no-win proposition for children of privilege.

This is why so many of you are so fired up about this question. Because your children are privileged and yes, this specific question is "no-win" for a privileged child, but here's the thing. Your privileged child has been winning in many other categories up until this exact point. You are angry that now at this point, you do not get to continue using that privilege to guarantee this particular success (admission to an elite college) for your child and you CAN buy this thing (paying full freight for a private college). About 45% of students at Ivy schools are full pay. The stats on how many Americans are rich are nebulous depending on what you consider rich, but if we use a basic number - how many households have a net worth over $2 million. That works out to right under 10% of households. What that number means is that rich kids are already incredibly overrepresented in those places. It is what it is.

I have yet to meet a parent of a child who is not privileged that has a problem with this question. Privileged children were overrepresented before in top colleges and they will continue to be. Pick another essay prompt and remember that 45% of the slots are going to 10% of the population. If your child doesn't get one of those slots, they will still have a decent life with whatever college they end up going to.

Being a child of normal middle class is not a privilege
It's a normal thing. It should not be penalized.

Under-privileged kids will still have a decent life with whatever college they end up going to.

Merit should be the major measure.
I can understand social status as a tiebreaker.
That much I can understand, but middle class normal kids should not be penalized.

Define "merit"

[Anonymous]

Which schools ask specifically about "lived experience"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For applicants with unarguably privileged backgrounds, this essay is a minefield. Maybe there was someone in your life who had an outsized influence that you can focus on. But it seems like a no-win proposition for children of privilege.

This is why so many of you are so fired up about this question. Because your children are privileged and yes, this specific question is "no-win" for a privileged child, but here's the thing. Your privileged child has been winning in many other categories up until this exact point. You are angry that now at this point, you do not get to continue using that privilege to guarantee this particular success (admission to an elite college) for your child and you CAN buy this thing (paying full freight for a private college). About 45% of students at Ivy schools are full pay. The stats on how many Americans are rich are nebulous depending on what you consider rich, but if we use a basic number - how many households have a net worth over $2 million. That works out to right under 10% of households. What that number means is that rich kids are already incredibly overrepresented in those places. It is what it is.

I have yet to meet a parent of a child who is not privileged that has a problem with this question. Privileged children were overrepresented before in top colleges and they will continue to be. Pick another essay prompt and remember that 45% of the slots are going to 10% of the population. If your child doesn't get one of those slots, they will still have a decent life with whatever college they end up going to.

Being a child of normal middle class is not a privilege
It's a normal thing. It should not be penalized.

Under-privileged kids will still have a decent life with whatever college they end up going to.

Merit should be the major measure.
I can understand social status as a tiebreaker.
That much I can understand, but middle class normal kids should not be penalized.

You have to read the thread in conjunction with other threads about elite schools losing their luster.

It’s vexing if you think a small handful of elite universities are the ticket to a successful life, and then see how a certain cohort of high-achieving kids from well-off families are systematically denied access to those institutions because, on the one hand, they don’t have “hooks,” yet on the other hand they don’t check the diversity boxes (which essays about “lived experiences” are intended to surface) that give them an edge with liberal admissions officers.

However, if you recognize that some of the elite schools increasingly see themselves as in the business of promoting social change and mobility, and less interested in rewarding academic merit than in the 70s to 00s, you can move on. An ever-increasing percentage of the young adults who make valuable contributions to society will come from less “selective” state schools, and the Ivies and “top” SLACs will be seen as increasingly twee - a nice lottery to have won, but not necessarily indicative of exceptional smarts or intellectual strength.

So, sure, when some schools demand essays about kids’ “lived experiences,” they can try to write an honest, introspective essay, but it seems there’s also every reason to believe they are now used by left-leaning admissions officers as a tool to toss applications from kids deemed to have enjoyed too many “unearned privileges.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is being penalized. Just write your essay.

Asians have been penalized.

So is middle class.

By this essay? No.