Do kids really not get less expensive after the daycare years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We could never use the after school daycare because we could t make a 6 pm pickup. So we needed a part time nanny, which was expensive. And then summer camps. Plus ES is often when you find out kids have issues that require some sort of therapy or tutoring. The clothes also becomes a lot more expensive and the toys. When they were little I used hand me downs from cousins or would buy on clearance for the next growth spurt. But the older they get the more opinions they have.
And of course the sports stuff. I was a “we’ll never do travel sports!” person. And now I have 3 kids in travel sports. What I didn’t realize is that the rec options basically disappear after ES and if they want to do HS sports they are expected to do club or travel in the off seasons and summer. It’s a huge racket, but there’s not much of a way around it unless you’re just willing to opt out of sports entirely. That would be my choice but my kids would be really upset about that.
And then there’s the food. They really do eat a lot!

I’m guessing you were never a daycare family since most daycares similarly don’t offer a later than 6 pm pickup.

That is true. I was anticipating a big drop in expenses when our kids went to school but it really didn’t work out that way. I think by the time the youngest hit 5th grade, we did see the savings (although other costs did go up). But the only way we’ve been making it work is because we are now senior enough at our jobs that we basically set our own schedule. We’ve also spent over a decade building relationships with other parents in the neighborhood so that we can maximize carpooling. And we make our kids take the public bus when it’s at all practical.
I feel like modern middle class parenting is set up to expect that kids have someone to drive them around between 4 and 9 pm. Our part time nanny did the 4-7 driving for years. Even the parents I know who use after care have real trouble with the driving necessary to allow kids to participate in even rec sports, take music/dance lessons, or even go to religious Ed. It’s challenging. I had underestimated all this when my kids were little.

I have 2 kids and because of that our life is very comfortable and not too busy. I am always surprised at the number of families we know who have 3 kids.

I had a coworker who used to joke that no one should get married before 30. I don’t think anyone should have a 3rd kid before their oldest completes kindergarten and a summer of camp. Parents of 4+ seem to know exactly what they are in for, but parents of 3 kids always seem the most stressed and stretched to me.

[Anonymous]

Daycare costs just prepped us for Private School tuition transition. So it didn't feel like a dramatic change either way. After school care at our private was nominal. Paid for local league baseball for years but that ended when DS hit middle school and started playing for his school team.

Most of the costs are centered around summer programs now and sleepaway camps when DS was younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine did. At our peak, we were paying 4300/mo for an infant and a toddler in full time daycare - $51,600 annually.

Now I have 2 kids in elementary and the breakdown is:
Extended Day - $6,320
Summer camps for 9 weeks - $10,000
Cub scouts, rec sports, summer swim- $1200
Equipment and coach gifts - $500
Private baseball lessons - $2500
Club swim - $3500
School lunch avg 2 days a week per kid - $600
That “ONLY” totals $24,620

Even if you add in all the misc. items like PTA contributions and teacher appreciation week, it’s not even close.
I forgot my kid started band this year and trumpet rental is $250/yr.
My younger child was jealous of the baseball lessons and I just spent $400 to sign up for winter soccer clinics. School photos were $80 for 2 kids. Baseball photos were another $40. School supply kits from the PTA - $75 each. Elementary yearbook $40. I’m sure there is lots of little stuff that I am forgetting, but even if it adds up to another $2k, it’s still DRASTICALLY cheaper to have school age kids.

How do you manage summer swim while working with kids in camp? That's a serious question. Summer swim where I am has an hour long mid-morning practice Monday-Friday (like 9-10 AM). I don't know how any dual working parent families can do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids go to private school. We have a nanny. The kids have a ton of after-school activities that they love.

Could they go to public school and then just aftercare and zero activities? Sure. I don't necessarily want them to live that lifestyle though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d break it down like this for us
$22,000 Au pair
$4000 summer camps
$4000 sports and after school activities

But it’s less for ages 5-9, then it revs up. Depends on the # kids and sports.

Curious: what is the point of an au pair when you have school aged kids?

They can drive!

[Anonymous]

We live in CA with two kids (11 and 6). Our younger DD’s daycare was $1750/ month when she left it (more when she was younger). (So 21,00 / yr) That included breakfast and lunch.

We don’t have any school buses in our town so kids go to aftercare - it’s $250 / week per child. (We both work from home but can’t always get them when school gets out.) I figure they’re there about 38 weeks of the year so about $9500 per child. For summer (11 weeks) we do some travel, but if we didn’t and used camps all summer they vary between $500 to $800 per week. We do a few of the expensive ones but most weeks not. So full summer in camp would be around $6000 per child if we weren’t traveling. So I guess in care we’re looking at about $6k savings per child per year.

Other expenses have grown - we moved from a 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment where they shared a room to a 3 bedroom 2 bath; they eat more; and our older daughter plays a club sport year ‘round (about $4500 / year). Our younger daughter has been in speech and occupational therapies so $50 a week ($25 each) in copays, so about $5000 right there. Our older daughter has also been in orthodontia (palate expander followed by braces) for over a year - set cost for her treatments will be about $3500 over two years.

So I think one *could* save money (if school buses were available, you didn’t do a sport etc) but I’m realizing we don’t save what I imagined we would when daycare ended, even if you don’t consider our move.

[Anonymous]

My kids daycare alone is roughly $60k a year, no way am I not going to save once they hit ES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I've read on here many times that while daycare seems exorbitant, things don't actually get any less expensive due to activities, aftercare, etc. With daycare costing $30k/year, unless you opt for private school I cannot figure out what would possibly cost this much. Even the most $$ summer camps are like $12k for the whole summer, which would leave $18k to break even with daycare costs. Idk how much sports cost, but I can't imagine that much. What was your experience?

Not less expensive. Mom of 16 year old swim team, 12 year of scouting, volunteer work, Nike shoes etc. not to mention the amount of food eaten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I've read on here many times that while daycare seems exorbitant, things don't actually get any less expensive due to activities, aftercare, etc. With daycare costing $30k/year, unless you opt for private school I cannot figure out what would possibly cost this much. Even the most $$ summer camps are like $12k for the whole summer, which would leave $18k to break even with daycare costs. Idk how much sports cost, but I can't imagine that much. What was your experience?

Not less expensive. Mom of 16 year old swim team, 12 year of scouting, volunteer work, Nike shoes etc. not to mention the amount of food eaten.

You got got if Scouting put you in the poor house.

[Anonymous]

Many of us are poor. We can not bring kids to this world

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are 6 and 9 and here is our breakdown:

Piano @ $200/month = $4800/year
Soccer @ $400 per season x 2 seasons each = $1600/year
Childcare @ $1200/month = $14,400/year
Summer camps average $400/week x 2 for about 10 weeks = $8000/year

Total: $28,800

Next summer our oldest is doing sleepaway camp for the first time which will add about $2200 on top of the regular summer camp fees. Plus there is another activity we do as a drop-in roughly once every week or two which probably adds another $2k per year.

If you’re spending $1200/month on childcare then you’re basically still in the childcare years. Most of us aren’t dropping that much once they start K. Many of us don’t need any childcare except summer and other school breaks.

I'm the PP. You don't need childcare for after school for your kindergartener?

A lot of people work from home, PP

DP, who raised the same issue: and is your kindergartener fully independent? Can come home alone, take care of themselves entirely while the parent working at home is actually working? Doesn’t make a peep?

DH and I work from home and still use aftercare because we’re *working*. We’re lucky we can afford the excellent aftercare available at our school, absolutely, but I’d bet 99.9% of parents who work from home and could afford daycare/preschool can also afford aftercare.

My kids get off the bus at 4:30, so yeah, they can occupy themselves for an hour while we finish up working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are 6 and 9 and here is our breakdown:

Piano @ $200/month = $4800/year
Soccer @ $400 per season x 2 seasons each = $1600/year
Childcare @ $1200/month = $14,400/year
Summer camps average $400/week x 2 for about 10 weeks = $8000/year

Total: $28,800

Next summer our oldest is doing sleepaway camp for the first time which will add about $2200 on top of the regular summer camp fees. Plus there is another activity we do as a drop-in roughly once every week or two which probably adds another $2k per year.

If you’re spending $1200/month on childcare then you’re basically still in the childcare years. Most of us aren’t dropping that much once they start K. Many of us don’t need any childcare except summer and other school breaks.

I'm the PP. You don't need childcare for after school for your kindergartener?

A lot of people work from home, PP

Right, and I assume their employers expect them to actually be working, not dipping out to pick up kids and then working as they can while caring for the kids after school. Sure, older kids can be self-sufficient but not a kindergartener.

A lot of FCPS elementary schools end at 4:00.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine did. At our peak, we were paying 4300/mo for an infant and a toddler in full time daycare - $51,600 annually.

Now I have 2 kids in elementary and the breakdown is:
Extended Day - $6,320
Summer camps for 9 weeks - $10,000
Cub scouts, rec sports, summer swim- $1200
Equipment and coach gifts - $500
Private baseball lessons - $2500
Club swim - $3500
School lunch avg 2 days a week per kid - $600
That “ONLY” totals $24,620

Even if you add in all the misc. items like PTA contributions and teacher appreciation week, it’s not even close.
I forgot my kid started band this year and trumpet rental is $250/yr.
My younger child was jealous of the baseball lessons and I just spent $400 to sign up for winter soccer clinics. School photos were $80 for 2 kids. Baseball photos were another $40. School supply kits from the PTA - $75 each. Elementary yearbook $40. I’m sure there is lots of little stuff that I am forgetting, but even if it adds up to another $2k, it’s still DRASTICALLY cheaper to have school age kids.

How do you manage summer swim while working with kids in camp? That's a serious question. Summer swim where I am has an hour long mid-morning practice Monday-Friday (like 9-10 AM). I don't know how any dual working parent families can do that.

!

Do it privately indoor pool in the winter. Forget summer swim

[Anonymous]

The driving is a huge deal when kids get older. Carpools are great but you still gotta take your turn lol and when you have a boy driving - insurance is out of your mind!

It's a great relief and the lull in finance if public school will last to maybe 4-5th grade. After that it's back to a lot if money if private MS or any issues with kids like learning disabilities. Sports, private trainings, music, a lot of activities is money. Clothing, sleepaway camp, it goes up.

If you had a nanny in the early years I think you really see cost savings though but for mere mortals even if nanny share I'd say costs even out for the kids ages 9/10+ as they get older.

It costs a shitload of money having kids is really all that needs to be said!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine did. At our peak, we were paying 4300/mo for an infant and a toddler in full time daycare - $51,600 annually.

Now I have 2 kids in elementary and the breakdown is:
Extended Day - $6,320
Summer camps for 9 weeks - $10,000
Cub scouts, rec sports, summer swim- $1200
Equipment and coach gifts - $500
Private baseball lessons - $2500
Club swim - $3500
School lunch avg 2 days a week per kid - $600
That “ONLY” totals $24,620

Even if you add in all the misc. items like PTA contributions and teacher appreciation week, it’s not even close.
I forgot my kid started band this year and trumpet rental is $250/yr.
My younger child was jealous of the baseball lessons and I just spent $400 to sign up for winter soccer clinics. School photos were $80 for 2 kids. Baseball photos were another $40. School supply kits from the PTA - $75 each. Elementary yearbook $40. I’m sure there is lots of little stuff that I am forgetting, but even if it adds up to another $2k, it’s still DRASTICALLY cheaper to have school age kids.

How do you manage summer swim while working with kids in camp? That's a serious question. Summer swim where I am has an hour long mid-morning practice Monday-Friday (like 9-10 AM). I don't know how any dual working parent families can do that.

Our pool has 7-8am practice for kids who go to camp. We are a 5 min walk to the pool. Kids bring breakfast and camp clothes to the pool and eat, shower, change, and apply sunscreen before going to camp. We leave at 8:30, drop off at 8:45, and I’m at work at 9:05 at the latest. We carpool with another family, so I only do drop-off or pickup 3 of the 10 spots per week. On days I’m not camp drop off I leave the pool at 7:20 and start work early because camp bus drops off at 4:15pm.