Do kids really not get less expensive after the daycare years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are 6 and 9 and here is our breakdown:

Piano @ $200/month = $4800/year
Soccer @ $400 per season x 2 seasons each = $1600/year
Childcare @ $1200/month = $14,400/year
Summer camps average $400/week x 2 for about 10 weeks = $8000/year

Total: $28,800

Next summer our oldest is doing sleepaway camp for the first time which will add about $2200 on top of the regular summer camp fees. Plus there is another activity we do as a drop-in roughly once every week or two which probably adds another $2k per year.

If you’re spending $1200/month on childcare then you’re basically still in the childcare years. Most of us aren’t dropping that much once they start K. Many of us don’t need any childcare except summer and other school breaks.

NP - most working families don’t need aftercare/drop-in care for their Kindergarteners? Sure they do. That’s not cheap around here, so the cost savings depends in part on how much a family was paying for daycare/preschool before. For example, coming from a relatively inexpensive in-home setting, the cost savings for KAH or Bar-T isn’t as noticeable as it would be from a pricier center.

We had young elementary-aged kids in March 2020 and learned VERY quickly that we couldn’t capably work without childcare. Most families in the same situation learned the same, at least the ones we know did. We do have a few friends who, once schools opened back up, thought aftercare was superfluous, since they’d “managed” during the pandemic. And then were the first ones to sign up for aftercare the next year, because, while expensive, it beats TV as babysitter by a mile.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t read the whole thread. For us it certainly isn’t more expensive but it is still really expensive, way more expensive than we had anticipated. As the kids get older you start spending significant money on food and shoes, for example. Teenage boys in particular will make your grocery budget skyrocket. Once your kids get into adult size shoes you have to start paying “real” money for them (think $100+ a pair) and they’ll grow out of them fast, plus they need multiple specialized pairs if they’re in sports. In addition to all of the other costs people have mentioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone mentioned it on page one but tutoring is the major qualifier that makes post-daycare life more expensive.

The average tutor is $25/hr x 3 times a week is $3,600/year. That's for basics like Algebra. Once you get into Chemistry, AP English, or fine instruction for competitions its $50/hr.

We paid $175-250/hr for excellent AP and ACT exam tutors. A couple of months each at most.

One kid’s writing coach costs $90/hr and the other kid’s violin teacher costs the same. These are more long- term costs.

Sorry to derail, but would you mind sharing what kind of qualifications your tutors have to justify these rates? They seem WAY higher than average, and I am genuinely curious.

[Anonymous]

Daycare didn’t cost $30k for us. It was less. Now in first grade, we pay $500 per month for aftercare, $100 each day that school is closed for camp, $5000 for the summer for camps. Still less than daycare but it’s a lot. My daughter also had a private neuropsych eval this year for $5k and the first phase of braces for $2,500.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids go to private school. We have a nanny. The kids have a ton of after-school activities that they love.

Could they go to public school and then just aftercare and zero activities? Sure. I don't necessarily want them to live that lifestyle though.

There’s a whole world of lifestyles out there in between private school with a nanny and nonstop activities and after care + zero activities. My kids go to a great public school and don’t need a nanny because DH and I have the flexibility to take them to their activities after school ourselves. DH coaches their sports and I volunteer through scouts. They also do swim, play dates, outings to the trampoline park, etc. Spending more money to outsource doesn’t necessarily mean a better lifestyle for your kids.

I mean, this is subjective. We also live in an area with “great” public schools. Our kids privates are just 1000000 times better in terms of diversification of learning, opportunities to dig deep, reading books and talking about them, researching, learning about science and history and doing field trips and enrichment activities. They actually make it fun and exciting. We’ve been in MCPS and this didn’t happen. It just did not. It was math worksheets and a dumbed down reading curriculum. And their activities are tennis, with private coaching, art and music and other sports. We picked the best coaches and programs. One of my kids has major special needs that have required tutoring intensively, therapies and a special school. He has cost far far more than daycare each year. So it really all depends and it all really depends on what you can afford. But the idea that some things aren’t better, I mean, if that makes you feel good about it, I guess. I’m sure there’s an argument that smaller classes, better teachers, more involvement is actually better, though. So it’s a silly thing to try to prove.

I’m not sure what your point is with this follow up. But in your original post you acted as if not having private school and a nanny meant your kids had some inferior “lifestyle” with zero activities. My response was that there are nice lifestyles for kids that don’t involve these expenses.

I went to a top private in a different city for a few years and there are downsides that my family would not choose. I hated that my friends were so spread out/lived far away in traffic. Also, I had a SAHM and thought it was odd how many kids there were basically raised by nannies.

My kids have a really idyllic lifestyle in a close-in walkable neighborhood. Many of their friends are in walking/biking distance of our house so lots of impromptu get togethers with other families. Also, DH and I don’t want a nanny to take our kids to activities. We are the ones coaching/volunteering (well up until the point they’ve joined travel sports), I am the one home with them after school. I know their friends’ parents, not the nanny.

We still have plenty of money leftover to take them on interesting trips, for travel sports, etc. So far they haven’t needed tutoring (they are gifted and do well academically).

It’s nice that you’ve found what works for your family, but it’s absolutely silly to insist that private school and a nanny is some sort of necessary expense for kids to have a nice lifestyle. Sounds like you’re trying really hard to justify the money you are spending as if it’s so superior.

That earlier post was not me. I stay home part time and also take my kids to all their stuff. We don’t have a nanny. But I don’t look down on those that do like you do.

My point was that you’re actually the defensive one. You sound incredibly threatened and striving and the gifted thing, barf. Get over yourself. So is every other kid in mcps. A big ole pile of giftedneas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone mentioned it on page one but tutoring is the major qualifier that makes post-daycare life more expensive.

The average tutor is $25/hr x 3 times a week is $3,600/year. That's for basics like Algebra. Once you get into Chemistry, AP English, or fine instruction for competitions its $50/hr.

We paid $175-250/hr for excellent AP and ACT exam tutors. A couple of months each at most.

One kid’s writing coach costs $90/hr and the other kid’s violin teacher costs the same. These are more long- term costs.

Where are you finding these $25/hr tutors? The going rate is $125/hr for a basic tutor. More for test prep.

[Anonymous]

For us, the big cost was saving for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are 6 and 9 and here is our breakdown:

Piano @ $200/month = $4800/year
Soccer @ $400 per season x 2 seasons each = $1600/year
Childcare @ $1200/month = $14,400/year
Summer camps average $400/week x 2 for about 10 weeks = $8000/year

Total: $28,800

Next summer our oldest is doing sleepaway camp for the first time which will add about $2200 on top of the regular summer camp fees. Plus there is another activity we do as a drop-in roughly once every week or two which probably adds another $2k per year.

If you’re spending $1200/month on childcare then you’re basically still in the childcare years. Most of us aren’t dropping that much once they start K. Many of us don’t need any childcare except summer and other school breaks.

I'm the PP. You don't need childcare for after school for your kindergartener?

[Anonymous]

Wealthy parents spend a lot of money on their children, normal parents don't.

Our costs (per kid):
* Aftercare: $400/month (but we dropped this last year - kids are in 3rd and 5th and one parent works from home full-time)
* Rec sports: $200/season (a season is 2-3 months)
* Girl Scouts: $100/year
* Camps: $2500-$3000 for the whole summer (we do mostly rec center camps plus one private camp that is two weeks but like 1/3 of the total cost)
* Tutoring (for one child only): $300/month

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do aftercare, 5k, summer camps another 4-5k, and maybe another 1k of activities. So definitely less than daycare. Public school as well.

What summer camps cost 4-5k?

I think they mean doing 8 weeks of camp at $500/week.

Yes--this! If we're lucky and can book them far in advance it more like $350/week times 8, but it varies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are 6 and 9 and here is our breakdown:

Piano @ $200/month = $4800/year
Soccer @ $400 per season x 2 seasons each = $1600/year
Childcare @ $1200/month = $14,400/year
Summer camps average $400/week x 2 for about 10 weeks = $8000/year

Total: $28,800

Next summer our oldest is doing sleepaway camp for the first time which will add about $2200 on top of the regular summer camp fees. Plus there is another activity we do as a drop-in roughly once every week or two which probably adds another $2k per year.

If you’re spending $1200/month on childcare then you’re basically still in the childcare years. Most of us aren’t dropping that much once they start K. Many of us don’t need any childcare except summer and other school breaks.

I'm the PP. You don't need childcare for after school for your kindergartener?

A lot of people work from home, PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are 6 and 9 and here is our breakdown:

Piano @ $200/month = $4800/year
Soccer @ $400 per season x 2 seasons each = $1600/year
Childcare @ $1200/month = $14,400/year
Summer camps average $400/week x 2 for about 10 weeks = $8000/year

Total: $28,800

Next summer our oldest is doing sleepaway camp for the first time which will add about $2200 on top of the regular summer camp fees. Plus there is another activity we do as a drop-in roughly once every week or two which probably adds another $2k per year.

If you’re spending $1200/month on childcare then you’re basically still in the childcare years. Most of us aren’t dropping that much once they start K. Many of us don’t need any childcare except summer and other school breaks.

I'm the PP. You don't need childcare for after school for your kindergartener?

A lot of people work from home, PP

DP, who raised the same issue: and is your kindergartener fully independent? Can come home alone, take care of themselves entirely while the parent working at home is actually working? Doesn’t make a peep?

DH and I work from home and still use aftercare because we’re *working*. We’re lucky we can afford the excellent aftercare available at our school, absolutely, but I’d bet 99.9% of parents who work from home and could afford daycare/preschool can also afford aftercare.

[Anonymous]

There is a downturn right after daycare ends, like 3-6 and then the cost goes back up. With two teens, we just hemorrhage money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone mentioned it on page one but tutoring is the major qualifier that makes post-daycare life more expensive.

The average tutor is $25/hr x 3 times a week is $3,600/year. That's for basics like Algebra. Once you get into Chemistry, AP English, or fine instruction for competitions its $50/hr.

We paid $175-250/hr for excellent AP and ACT exam tutors. A couple of months each at most.

One kid’s writing coach costs $90/hr and the other kid’s violin teacher costs the same. These are more long- term costs.

You don’t have to do this, OP. Our kid studied for AP exams on his own and my husband and I were able to help him ACT/SAT strategies.

[Anonymous]

For us we kept our nanny until the youngest was 7. Then there was:
Private school: 40k+/kid/year
Extra curricular after school: ~$400/mo/kid
Sleep away camp 4 weeks (starting at 8yo):8k/kid/yr
Ski school: 3k/yr/kid
International travel: 4k/yr/kid
Private piano: 3k/yr/kid
One kid needed a tutor for a couple years: 2k/yr

Yes, you can choose to do none of this or only after school care or summer day camps and it would be much cheaper. I would prefer to spend my money on my kids in healthy enriching ways. If I had less money, I would scrap international travel and sleepaway camp in a heart beat, opting for driving vacays to the mountains. I might even teach my kids to ski and scrap the tutor. I am perfectly capable of teaching my kids both of those things.