Social media is designed to be addictive; known harmful. Why do your kids have it?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

How so?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

How so?

PP here. Like some of the kids my DD is friends with on social media will post pics of themselves at parties holding alcoholic beverages. Or in very provocative looking photos with boyfriends and stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or rather:

- why do you give your children social media, when it is designed to addict them, and is known to be harmful to children and teens?

Once in high school it’s hard to deny. I did til 9th grade. Then dc knows more about the internet and how to set up online activities much better than I do. Until 10th grade WiFi went off at a certain time. Now in 11th grade dc is responsible for going to school, getting good grades, doing community service work, playing a sport and being an over all nice person. And occasionally cleaning their living space.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

How so?

PP here. Like some of the kids my DD is friends with on social media will post pics of themselves at parties holding alcoholic beverages. Or in very provocative looking photos with boyfriends and stuff like that.

So do you think social media is harmful for those kids? Or for kids who want to emulate or hang out with them?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

How so?

PP here. Like some of the kids my DD is friends with on social media will post pics of themselves at parties holding alcoholic beverages. Or in very provocative looking photos with boyfriends and stuff like that.

So do you think social media is harmful for those kids? Or for kids who want to emulate or hang out with them?

I view it more as a parenting failure.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

How so?

PP here. Like some of the kids my DD is friends with on social media will post pics of themselves at parties holding alcoholic beverages. Or in very provocative looking photos with boyfriends and stuff like that.

So do you think social media is harmful for those kids? Or for kids who want to emulate or hang out with them?

I view it more as a parenting failure.

Yep, for giving them access to social media in the first place. Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

How so?

PP here. Like some of the kids my DD is friends with on social media will post pics of themselves at parties holding alcoholic beverages. Or in very provocative looking photos with boyfriends and stuff like that.

So do you think social media is harmful for those kids? Or for kids who want to emulate or hang out with them?

I view it more as a parenting failure.

Yep, for giving them access to social media in the first place. Totally agree.

Nah. For being lazy parents. Same as parents who forbid social media because they are too lazy to monitor it or scaffold it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have it and why are you on here if it is so harmful? That's the better question.

DCUM isn’t “social media”.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

How so?

PP here. Like some of the kids my DD is friends with on social media will post pics of themselves at parties holding alcoholic beverages. Or in very provocative looking photos with boyfriends and stuff like that.

So do you think social media is harmful for those kids? Or for kids who want to emulate or hang out with them?

I view it more as a parenting failure.

Yep, for giving them access to social media in the first place. Totally agree.

Nah. For being lazy parents. Same as parents who forbid social media because they are too lazy to monitor it or scaffold it.

At what age do you think a good parent allows social media?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

Sigh.

If you believe DCUMAD is in any way comparable to the social media defendants being sued by 30 separate States Attorneys General, then you are truly stupid.

Perhaps TikTok has rotted your brain?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

How so?

PP here. Like some of the kids my DD is friends with on social media will post pics of themselves at parties holding alcoholic beverages. Or in very provocative looking photos with boyfriends and stuff like that.

So do you think social media is harmful for those kids? Or for kids who want to emulate or hang out with them?

I view it more as a parenting failure.

Yep, for giving them access to social media in the first place. Totally agree.

Nah. For being lazy parents. Same as parents who forbid social media because they are too lazy to monitor it or scaffold it.

At what age do you think a good parent allows social media?

NP. 13. Just be a parent, as with anything else.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

How so?

PP here. Like some of the kids my DD is friends with on social media will post pics of themselves at parties holding alcoholic beverages. Or in very provocative looking photos with boyfriends and stuff like that.

So do you think social media is harmful for those kids? Or for kids who want to emulate or hang out with them?

I view it more as a parenting failure.

Yep, for giving them access to social media in the first place. Totally agree.

Nah. For being lazy parents. Same as parents who forbid social media because they are too lazy to monitor it or scaffold it.

At what age do you think a good parent allows social media?

NP. 13. Just be a parent, as with anything else.

I feel pretty good about my parenting skills overall. I have fantastic, trustworthy kids, but I still don’t feel like any of that’s worth much when we’re talking about AI-generated algorithms serving up non-stop content to adolescents trying to figure out who they are in the world. The effect can be subtle, but that’s what so frightening about it to me. Your kid might seem fine on the outside, but unless you’re sitting there scrolling with them, you really have no idea what they’re seeing and where the algorithm is trying to steer them. The entire point of these platforms is to harness users’ vulnerabilities to sell them stuff, or worse, ideas.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

How so?

PP here. Like some of the kids my DD is friends with on social media will post pics of themselves at parties holding alcoholic beverages. Or in very provocative looking photos with boyfriends and stuff like that.

So do you think social media is harmful for those kids? Or for kids who want to emulate or hang out with them?

I view it more as a parenting failure.

Yep, for giving them access to social media in the first place. Totally agree.

Nah. For being lazy parents. Same as parents who forbid social media because they are too lazy to monitor it or scaffold it.

At what age do you think a good parent allows social media?

NP. 13. Just be a parent, as with anything else.

I feel pretty good about my parenting skills overall. I have fantastic, trustworthy kids, but I still don’t feel like any of that’s worth much when we’re talking about AI-generated algorithms serving up non-stop content to adolescents trying to figure out who they are in the world. The effect can be subtle, but that’s what so frightening about it to me. Your kid might seem fine on the outside, but unless you’re sitting there scrolling with them, you really have no idea what they’re seeing and where the algorithm is trying to steer them. The entire point of these platforms is to harness users’ vulnerabilities to sell them stuff, or worse, ideas.

That can all be true and it can also be true that prohibiting across the board until they are legal adults, in addition to being logistically impossible, will release kids into the wild with no previous experience with social media.

I stand by what I said however many pages ago. Most of y’all freaking out about social media sound like your kids are younger. Parenting changes a lot between the end of elementary school and the end of high school. You have to start accepting that your babies aren’t babies anymore and helping them learn how to be adults. It’s not like a switch flips at 18 or 21 or 25 or whatever and they suddenly have good judgement and skills.

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Anonymous wrote:I don't. I'm hoping they thank me later. Oldest not yet in high school, though, which is when it may be hard to hold out.

My closest childhood friend works for one of the big Silicon Valley companies. Her kids go to "Forest School" and she tries not to let them see the parents on devices at all. She's seen into the belly of the beast and knows enough to be scared.

I have two in high school in fcps. Neither has it.
They are doing just fine.

That’s cool. So are all the kids I know who do have it. We can share anecdotes all day.

Sure Jan

I know for some strange reason you want to believe all teens are depressed and mentally ill, but they just aren’t. Sorry to…disappoint you?

DP. You think if a kid isn’t showing signs of full blown depression or mental illness that social media isn’t possibly affecting their mental wellbeing?

No, but neither is it accurate to say that ALL or even MOST teens who have social media are negatively affected by it. It simply isn't true. The people asserting that either don't have teens at all, or their teens are not on social media, so they have no idea.

Depends on how you define “negatively affected.”

So your oldest is 8? 10? I know your type.

Why do you assume that? My oldest is 15.

If they don’t have social media, you are not qualified to remark on how it’s affecting their mental health.

Geez, you REALLY love social media for your kids (and likely yourself). I know your type, too.

Yet here you are. So much hand wringing!

This site is a massive waste of time and is addictive and is terrible for my mental wellbeing, but we both know this is not the type of social media we’re talking about when it comes to kids and teens.

My kids have fantastic relationships with so many of their cousins and other extended family thanks to social media. It is definitely a value add for us. It has also helped them to identify the sorts of kids they don’t want to be friends with.

How so?

PP here. Like some of the kids my DD is friends with on social media will post pics of themselves at parties holding alcoholic beverages. Or in very provocative looking photos with boyfriends and stuff like that.

So do you think social media is harmful for those kids? Or for kids who want to emulate or hang out with them?

I view it more as a parenting failure.

Yep, for giving them access to social media in the first place. Totally agree.

Nah. For being lazy parents. Same as parents who forbid social media because they are too lazy to monitor it or scaffold it.

At what age do you think a good parent allows social media?

NP. 13. Just be a parent, as with anything else.

I feel pretty good about my parenting skills overall. I have fantastic, trustworthy kids, but I still don’t feel like any of that’s worth much when we’re talking about AI-generated algorithms serving up non-stop content to adolescents trying to figure out who they are in the world. The effect can be subtle, but that’s what so frightening about it to me. Your kid might seem fine on the outside, but unless you’re sitting there scrolling with them, you really have no idea what they’re seeing and where the algorithm is trying to steer them. The entire point of these platforms is to harness users’ vulnerabilities to sell them stuff, or worse, ideas.

That can all be true and it can also be true that prohibiting across the board until they are legal adults, in addition to being logistically impossible, will release kids into the wild with no previous experience with social media.

I stand by what I said however many pages ago. Most of y’all freaking out about social media sound like your kids are younger. Parenting changes a lot between the end of elementary school and the end of high school. You have to start accepting that your babies aren’t babies anymore and helping them learn how to be adults. It’s not like a switch flips at 18 or 21 or 25 or whatever and they suddenly have good judgement and skills.

I guess we should just go ahead and let them drive cars and drink alcohol at 13, too. Why wait?