“ No gifts please” - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So those of you who bring a gift despite being told not to -- if the host refuses to take it and says quietly, "You can just keep that -- this is no gifts party," will you comply? Or will you continue to ignore their wishes?

What is this "being told not to?" You know, I barely skim invitations. I look at the date, time and location, that's it. There shouldn't be a bunch of "instructions" that need to be followed lest you have an aggressive confrontation with the hostess over something so trivial. Assume it was an oversight, accept the gift graciously, trash it later, stop being such a pill, and also never host a party again.

That's aggressive to you?

What if you see the hostess walk to the trash and toss the gift in? Or if you don't see that, but you stay for the party and see the gift in the trash?

How far do you require people to go to protect your feelings when you're making no effort to understand theirs?

Whew so glad I don’t know any socially stunted morons who need to role play like this. Where do you people come from? There is zero chance any if this would ever happen to me. You are so weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You ask for no gift, I'm not bringing a damn thing, and I love you for it.

If you wanted something else, well, you're a fool.

If other people don't know how to follow basic directions, that's on them, not me. I'm not a lemming.

If I say "no gifts" and someone gives a gift, I accept the gift and say thank you because I wasn't raised in a barn.

This really isn't that complicated.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just bring a card to a no gifts party.

This.

[Anonymous]

If an invite specifically states “No Gifts,” then I personally think it is rude to show up w/a gift.

Especially for a child’s party.

I think many parents are overwhelmed w/the amount of stuff that their child already has in the house so that add’l gifts would just add to the chaos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wine in particular is a terrible gift because if you don't want it, you can't just Freecycle it

But you can just bring it to the next party you’re invited to. I’ve done that. I hate most wines but don’t mind getting it because I’ll just regift it. Most people like most wines, I find.

[Anonymous]

I think you are worried about fitting in (ie doing what most guests do) but find it hard to predict. You could just implement a physically small gift policy so that you can arrive with it in your purse and only pull it out if it appears you'll be the odd one out who didnt bring a gift.

[Anonymous]

Nothing makes me happier than when a kid’s birthday invitation says “no gifts.” It’s such a relief! I never bring a gift if asked not to, and always bring a gift if nothing is said, but it’s usually a scramble. I don’t typically get adults a gift either way, maybe because it’s not something I personally care about or want for myself.

[Anonymous]

Before the pandemic people would write no gifts, but then everyone brought a gift anyway. It all seemed pointless.

[Anonymous]

Respect the wish-no gift. The gift truly is you joining in the celebration. Those who brought gifts are not respecting the wish of the host. If you feel you must do something-donate to a charity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Respect the wish-no gift. The gift truly is you joining in the celebration. Those who brought gifts are not respecting the wish of the host. If you feel you must do something-donate to a charity.

No, you always have to bring something - a decorative item for their home, some lovely homemade candles, a basket of fruit, etc.

That’s the high class way of doing things at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Respect the wish-no gift. The gift truly is you joining in the celebration. Those who brought gifts are not respecting the wish of the host. If you feel you must do something-donate to a charity.

No, you always have to bring something - a decorative item for their home, some lovely homemade candles, a basket of fruit, etc.

That’s the high class way of doing things at least.

CONSUME!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before the pandemic people would write no gifts, but then everyone brought a gift anyway. It all seemed pointless.

Well it’s just common courtesy to bring something for the home when you go to someone’s house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Respect the wish-no gift. The gift truly is you joining in the celebration. Those who brought gifts are not respecting the wish of the host. If you feel you must do something-donate to a charity.

No, you always have to bring something - a decorative item for their home, some lovely homemade candles, a basket of fruit, etc.

That’s the high class way of doing things at least.

I think this person is being sarcastic. Regardless, you always respect someone "no." It a disrespect of a boundary to bring a gift if they requested that you refrain.