“ No gifts please” - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was once invited to a friend’s birthday where the invite stated “ your presence is present enough”. I respected my friend’s wishes and didn’t bring a gift but I was surprised to see that several guests did. I felt so awkward I sent her flowers the next day. The next time I got such an invite ( from a different friend), I brought a gift but was one of only 3 guests to do so.

Lately my 13 year old daughter received an invite to a friends birthday party which also stated “ no gifts”, but all the girls brought gifts.

What does the host expect when they specify this on their invite? What exactly do you do when you receive such invites? Gift or no gift?

If the invite says "no gifts," then follow instructions. Otherwise. I would think that you either cannot read or cannot comprehend what you read.

If you need to put "instructions" on a fun event and then get pissed when people don't follow them, by all means stop inviting people to your lame parties since you don't like them anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No gifts means be prepared to give a gift.

I went to a no Gifts 50 birthday. My wife smarter than me said bring a $100 gift card just in case. I say 90 percent brought a gift.

So 90 percent of people DID THE WRONG THING!

I thought people on this board prided themselves on being intelligent. This whole “debate” is SO frustrating.

I’m going to start behaving like a PP and refuse to accept gifts if people insist on bringing them anyway. Maybe that’s the only way to get through to some folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect no gifts but it’s fine if you bring one. But I definitely don’t expect you to.

+1

[Anonymous]

So those of you who bring a gift despite being told not to -- if the host refuses to take it and says quietly, "You can just keep that -- this is no gifts party," will you comply? Or will you continue to ignore their wishes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So those of you who bring a gift despite being told not to -- if the host refuses to take it and says quietly, "You can just keep that -- this is no gifts party," will you comply? Or will you continue to ignore their wishes?

A host should not dictate gifts. If you don't want gifts don't have a party for yourself. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Everyone knows you still have to bring a gift to a no gifts party. But it usually means just gift cards or cash are what they want.

[Anonymous]

I usually bring a decorative item or something small from home goods. That way I’m bringing something the host will appreciate and use. I don’t bring something huge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So those of you who bring a gift despite being told not to -- if the host refuses to take it and says quietly, "You can just keep that -- this is no gifts party," will you comply? Or will you continue to ignore their wishes?

What is this "being told not to?" You know, I barely skim invitations. I look at the date, time and location, that's it. There shouldn't be a bunch of "instructions" that need to be followed lest you have an aggressive confrontation with the hostess over something so trivial. Assume it was an oversight, accept the gift graciously, trash it later, stop being such a pill, and also never host a party again.

[Anonymous]

No gift, make a card. But, if you feel weird, bring a bottle of wine or bowl of fruit or something edible that everyone can share. I think host says no gifts because they don’t need anymore junk in their house.

I’m from a generation that always brought a hostess gift if I was invited somewhere. I’ve notice the younger generation does not do that anymore.

[Anonymous]

People mean what they say. Offer them that respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I usually bring a decorative item or something small from home goods. That way I’m bringing something the host will appreciate and use. I don’t bring something huge

No one wants junk from home goods. That goes straight in the Goodwill box.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People mean what they say. Offer them that respect.

If you think people are disrespecting your rules then why do you keep inviting them? This problem would be easily solved that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I put No Gifts on the invite, I get annoyed when I receive gifts.

I don't want more stuff in my house to deal with!

I don't want 3 different bouquets of flowers producing different smells and dropping petals. I trash them as soon as you leave.

I don't want a random bottle of wine you grabbed at CVS on the way over. I don't even drink wine. That's why at the end of each party I always encourage guests to take leftover wine and beer.

If you must bring anything, at least make it a thank you card - something easy to toss/recycle after reading it.

Stop throwing so many parties if they make you this angry.

No kidding. I am pretty much a no gift person myself, and always feel a bit awkward to receive hostess gifts. But when I do get them, I am genuinely grateful and gracious, even after the guests have gone.

I can't imagine being this petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No gift, make a card. But, if you feel weird, bring a bottle of wine or bowl of fruit or something edible that everyone can share. I think host says no gifts because they don’t need anymore junk in their house.

I’m from a generation that always brought a hostess gift if I was invited somewhere. I’ve notice the younger generation does not do that anymore.

+1

I was brought up to always bring a hostess gift - a vase, some candles, a picture, some frames etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No gift, make a card. But, if you feel weird, bring a bottle of wine or bowl of fruit or something edible that everyone can share. I think host says no gifts because they don’t need anymore junk in their house.

I’m from a generation that always brought a hostess gift if I was invited somewhere. I’ve notice the younger generation does not do that anymore.

+1

I was brought up to always bring a hostess gift - a vase, some candles, a picture, some frames etc.

The younger generations are more likely to give a crap about the environment, for one thing.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/american-consumption-habits/

No gifts means no gifts. It is not “gracious” to bring me trash (Which is what a gift is when it is neither wanted nor needed, no matter how nice you think it is)