Parents of 3- do you wish you’d stopped at 2 or 1

[Anonymous]

*not a single sibling ended up with a large family, only one had three, others stopped at one or two.

Is it opposite for people who had one or no siblings, wanting to have more so they'll bond with at least one of them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three gets low satisfaction ratings because it's the transition from man-to-man to zone defense, and a lot of people have trouble with that, and the ones who handle it well often go on to have 4+.

Speak for yourself. After being a mom of 2 boys, I loved having a daughter. She is such a daddy’s girl. Our third completes our family. She is a total delight and brings so much joy to our family.

That's understandable. Wanting something you don't have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand wanting to be a parent and go from couple to a family. I also understand wanting a sibling for the child. I find it hard to understand having thirds, fourths and so on. I get that different people think differently but what's the reason behind it? Is it to fill some personal or marital void?

I had three to bother you.

Hahahahaha - good call, I think I may need to have a fourth for this very reason.

[Anonymous]

I have three. No, I do not regret it - the third is a joy and a wonderful addition to our family. But I do wish I'd started (and finished) having kids younger. Oh well, life had different plans I suppose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^also, I grew up an only of UMC parents with tons of money for extras and had a terrible childhood. My husband is one of six with amazing, loving parents and had a great childhood. Money has zero to do with how good of a parent you can be.

Are you suggest that your parents would've been better parents if they were more stretched with more kids and less money. Wouldn't they be worse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand wanting to be a parent and go from couple to a family. I also understand wanting a sibling for the child. I find it hard to understand having thirds, fourths and so on. I get that different people think differently but what's the reason behind it? Is it to fill some personal or marital void?

Are you this dim-witted and unimaginative on only this topic, or is this a character trait that exhibits itself in all aspects of your life? I have two kids, only want two, but can understand why people want none, 1, 3, 9….it’s really not that difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand wanting to be a parent and go from couple to a family. I also understand wanting a sibling for the child. I find it hard to understand having thirds, fourths and so on. I get that different people think differently but what's the reason behind it? Is it to fill some personal or marital void?

I had three to bother you.

Hahahahaha - good call, I think I may need to have a fourth for this very reason.

Okay, so immaturity to stick it to others is more important than maturity to try to balance resources and kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^also, I grew up an only of UMC parents with tons of money for extras and had a terrible childhood. My husband is one of six with amazing, loving parents and had a great childhood. Money has zero to do with how good of a parent you can be.

Are you suggest that your parents would've been better parents if they were more stretched with more kids and less money. Wouldn't they be worse?

My point is that there's no correlation between money for extras and how good of a parent you are. Believe it or not poor people love their kids too. The idea that you need to have money for travel soccer in order to be a good parent is so insulting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand wanting to be a parent and go from couple to a family. I also understand wanting a sibling for the child. I find it hard to understand having thirds, fourths and so on. I get that different people think differently but what's the reason behind it? Is it to fill some personal or marital void?

Are you this dim-witted and unimaginative on only this topic, or is this a character trait that exhibits itself in all aspects of your life? I have two kids, only want two, but can understand why people want none, 1, 3, 9….it’s really not that difficult.

Care to elaborate the reasons? O wise one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*not a single sibling ended up with a large family, only one had three, others stopped at one or two.

Is it opposite for people who had one or no siblings, wanting to have more so they'll bond with at least one of them?

Interesting. I grew up one of four and all of us had at least 3; in fact three of us had four. I guess I’d have to agree with people upthread that it depends a LOT on the parents, their approach, and how they handle things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand wanting to be a parent and go from couple to a family. I also understand wanting a sibling for the child. I find it hard to understand having thirds, fourths and so on. I get that different people think differently but what's the reason behind it? Is it to fill some personal or marital void?

I had three to bother you.

Hahahahaha - good call, I think I may need to have a fourth for this very reason.

Okay, so immaturity to stick it to others is more important than maturity to try to balance resources and kids.

You sound really fun, you must be a barrel of laughs in real life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^also, I grew up an only of UMC parents with tons of money for extras and had a terrible childhood. My husband is one of six with amazing, loving parents and had a great childhood. Money has zero to do with how good of a parent you can be.

Are you suggest that your parents would've been better parents if they were more stretched with more kids and less money. Wouldn't they be worse?

My point is that there's no correlation between money for extras and how good of a parent you are. Believe it or not poor people love their kids too. The idea that you need to have money for travel soccer in order to be a good parent is so insulting.

Kids need love but the also need time, care and resources. Self, marriage, birth family, in-laws, friends, hobbies, health, career, household, finances also need your attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand wanting to be a parent and go from couple to a family. I also understand wanting a sibling for the child. I find it hard to understand having thirds, fourths and so on. I get that different people think differently but what's the reason behind it? Is it to fill some personal or marital void?

I had three to bother you.

Hahahahaha - good call, I think I may need to have a fourth for this very reason.

Okay, so immaturity to stick it to others is more important than maturity to try to balance resources and kids.

You sound really fun, you must be a barrel of laughs in real life

Instead of trying to sensibly explain your point of view, senseless criticism of opposing posters sure sounds like fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^also, I grew up an only of UMC parents with tons of money for extras and had a terrible childhood. My husband is one of six with amazing, loving parents and had a great childhood. Money has zero to do with how good of a parent you can be.

Are you suggest that your parents would've been better parents if they were more stretched with more kids and less money. Wouldn't they be worse?

My point is that there's no correlation between money for extras and how good of a parent you are. Believe it or not poor people love their kids too. The idea that you need to have money for travel soccer in order to be a good parent is so insulting.

Kids need love but the also need time, care and resources. Self, marriage, birth family, in-laws, friends, hobbies, health, career, household, finances also need your attention.

Yes and many of us are able to provide that to three.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand wanting to be a parent and go from couple to a family. I also understand wanting a sibling for the child. I find it hard to understand having thirds, fourths and so on. I get that different people think differently but what's the reason behind it? Is it to fill some personal or marital void?

I think, for some people who want 3, it’s that we really enjoy the parenting piece and feel we have the energy and resources to do it well. #2 also wouldn’t be a task to complete to give the first a sibling, we would be having additional kids because they bring immense joy to our family.

It very much comes down to what brings individual people satisfaction and joy. I think some people are happier with more overall kid energy, while some people prefer less.