Parents of 3- do you wish you’d stopped at 2 or 1

[Anonymous]

It's true parents of 3 sometimes tell others to stop at 2. But I'll also note that I've met parents or 2 who have suggested not having children at all! Some people don't like parenting, and even more people maybe go through phases where they really don't like it.

Though I do think the more kids you have, the more likely it is that a tough parenting phase will prompt you to say "don't have more kids" (or even "don't have kids"). No matter what anyone tells you, 2 is harder than 1, 3 is harder than 2, and so on. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. If anything I regret not having a fourth.

This is me as well

[Anonymous]

I would stop at one.

[Anonymous]

I have never regretted it! I can’t imagine our family without our third.

[Anonymous]

I have three and absolutely love it. And I went back and forth about having three for a long time, so the third is 4 years younger than the second (first and second are 2.5 years apart). I agree with an earlier poster, I think the key is having a bigger gap between at least 2 of the kids, especially between the second and third. That way the second really has your full attention and time to be the baby for quite a while. Mine was 4 when the third was born, so he was delighted and ready to be a big brother.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

No I absolutely love my 3 and my 3rd born. It’s soo soo hard though. You need to be super organized and very patient. I often tell other friends not to do it if I think they couldn’t handle it. I am organized, both work flexible jobs, incredible spouse, very involved grandparents, but it’s still hard.

If there were more hours in the day I would have 4. I loved pregnancy, babies and children. An extra kid would take time away from my living children though.

Also, they both agree they like the baby the most. 3 is a great family dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three and absolutely love it. And I went back and forth about having three for a long time, so the third is 4 years younger than the second (first and second are 2.5 years apart). I agree with an earlier poster, I think the key is having a bigger gap between at least 2 of the kids, especially between the second and third. That way the second really has your full attention and time to be the baby for quite a while. Mine was 4 when the third was born, so he was delighted and ready to be a big brother.

We had a bigger gap between 2 and 3. It made the first two very close and the 3rd always got babied.

[Anonymous]

No, sometimes I consider a 4th but I’ve never wished I had I’d had fewer kids.

[Anonymous]

The age gap makes a difference, I suspect. Going from 1-2 kids only two years apart was much tougher than 3rd kid at five years for us. It’s brought us closer especially requiring dh to be a much more hands on dad.

[Anonymous]

My second and third children were literally five minutes apart. No regrets. Some people rise to the occasion, some people would still be overwhelmed with an only child or two children. I think it has less to do with the number of children, and more to do with the parents’ outlook and abilities to make peace with a little chaos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My second and third children were literally five minutes apart. No regrets. Some people rise to the occasion, some people would still be overwhelmed with an only child or two children. I think it has less to do with the number of children, and more to do with the parents’ outlook and abilities to make peace with a little chaos.

+100
I had three under three and I would never say this to anyone in real life, but I'm markedly less frazzled than some of my friends with one kid. It comes down to temperament and outlook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a parent of three but I have had several of them tell/warn me to stop at two so I don't think you're entirely alone in your sentiment, OP.

+1

And it's nothing to be ashamed of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My second and third children were literally five minutes apart. No regrets. Some people rise to the occasion, some people would still be overwhelmed with an only child or two children. I think it has less to do with the number of children, and more to do with the parents’ outlook and abilities to make peace with a little chaos.

+100
I had three under three and I would never say this to anyone in real life, but I'm markedly less frazzled than some of my friends with one kid. It comes down to temperament and outlook.

I agree with this, my sister and her DH really love a quiet, calm, and very organized/aesthetically pleasing living space. They have 1 and it makes perfect sense for them; they are wonderful parents to her and don’t feel overburdened by kid “stuff” (noise, toys, activities, schedules etc). They would feel frazzled and stressed with more and they know themselves well enough to know that.

I do think it’s a different personality that actively enjoys parenting more kids and can easily handle more stimulation and activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. If anything I regret not having a fourth.

Same!

Yeah, it's hard. But what I didn't know is that it's so freaking FUN! I had no idea just how much pure joy and fun there is in being a mom and raising kids.