Preschool vs Daycare Wars

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The data just doesn’t support group learning before age 3 or so. If your goal is to ‘school’ a two year old you would hire a nanny because they are learning from a single caregiver and not from peers. The peers are only competitors for the caregivers attention. Any center that is trying to sell you on STEM classes for 2 year olds is ripping you off. They are usually just trying to distract you from the caregiver ratio.

Look for a high caregiver ratio not a curriculum or ‘school’ before age 3/4. Often an in-home daycare is better in this regard, frankly.

After age 3/4 they do learn from peers so there is definite benefit to a school environment.

Let’s just be honest about the tough choices all parents make and not let an industry try to sell us on non-evidence based nonsense.

https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4#:~:text=Children%20spending%20long%20hours%20in,negative%20effect%20on%20later%20behavior.

If you actually read the studies cited on this blog post you'll see "the data" is not nearly as definitive as the author makes it sound. Talk to any speech therapist that works with young toddlers and they will tell you many 1 year olds with expressive language delays magically start talking when they are in a group setting. Just because they aren't playing cooperatively yet doesn't mean they aren't learning from each other.

In my sample size one family, where my daughter had 1:1 and sometimes 2:1 (two teachers to her alone) care (COVID wasn’t bad for everything) I found she made huge strides when she spent time with her cousins compared to with adults alone. Babies are absolutely fascinated by other children. And everyone I know with two kids praises to the skies the benefits of the first child “teaching” the second potty training.

But also? It doesn’t matter. This isn’t about whether daycare and preschool are good options or whether we all should eat rice and beans and never travel to stay home with our kids.

This is about people who actually care what other parents call their childcare. And that’s nothing but sad. I can’t be angry at someone who has that little validating their parenting that this is what they’re fixed on.

I think it’s degrading to NOT use the appropriate language when talking about early childhood development, especially saying ‘it’s all interchangeable.’ It’s a very nuanced field and every stage has different developmental needs and milestones that must be met. insisting that your 2 yo is in in ‘school’ instead of childcare is irrational, because that’s not even an ideal environment for a 2yo. It just shows ignorance and probably guilt. Daycare and/or childcare should not be ‘dirty words.’ They are developmentally appropriate descriptions of care settings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The data just doesn’t support group learning before age 3 or so. If your goal is to ‘school’ a two year old you would hire a nanny because they are learning from a single caregiver and not from peers. The peers are only competitors for the caregivers attention. Any center that is trying to sell you on STEM classes for 2 year olds is ripping you off. They are usually just trying to distract you from the caregiver ratio.

Look for a high caregiver ratio not a curriculum or ‘school’ before age 3/4. Often an in-home daycare is better in this regard, frankly.

After age 3/4 they do learn from peers so there is definite benefit to a school environment.

Let’s just be honest about the tough choices all parents make and not let an industry try to sell us on non-evidence based nonsense.

https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4#:~:text=Children%20spending%20long%20hours%20in,negative%20effect%20on%20later%20behavior.

If you actually read the studies cited on this blog post you'll see "the data" is not nearly as definitive as the author makes it sound. Talk to any speech therapist that works with young toddlers and they will tell you many 1 year olds with expressive language delays magically start talking when they are in a group setting. Just because they aren't playing cooperatively yet doesn't mean they aren't learning from each other.

In my sample size one family, where my daughter had 1:1 and sometimes 2:1 (two teachers to her alone) care (COVID wasn’t bad for everything) I found she made huge strides when she spent time with her cousins compared to with adults alone. Babies are absolutely fascinated by other children. And everyone I know with two kids praises to the skies the benefits of the first child “teaching” the second potty training.

But also? It doesn’t matter. This isn’t about whether daycare and preschool are good options or whether we all should eat rice and beans and never travel to stay home with our kids.

This is about people who actually care what other parents call their childcare. And that’s nothing but sad. I can’t be angry at someone who has that little validating their parenting that this is what they’re fixed on.

I think it’s degrading to NOT use the appropriate language when talking about early childhood development, especially saying ‘it’s all interchangeable.’ It’s a very nuanced field and every stage has different developmental needs and milestones that must be met. insisting that your 2 yo is in in ‘school’ instead of childcare is irrational, because that’s not even an ideal environment for a 2yo. It just shows ignorance and probably guilt. Daycare and/or childcare should not be ‘dirty words.’ They are developmentally appropriate descriptions of care settings.

But again - for like the fifth time in this thread - why are you trying to police what other people call it? Throwing around loaded words like ignorant and guilt doesn’t prove your point. It just makes you an AH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The data just doesn’t support group learning before age 3 or so. If your goal is to ‘school’ a two year old you would hire a nanny because they are learning from a single caregiver and not from peers. The peers are only competitors for the caregivers attention. Any center that is trying to sell you on STEM classes for 2 year olds is ripping you off. They are usually just trying to distract you from the caregiver ratio.

Look for a high caregiver ratio not a curriculum or ‘school’ before age 3/4. Often an in-home daycare is better in this regard, frankly.

After age 3/4 they do learn from peers so there is definite benefit to a school environment.

Let’s just be honest about the tough choices all parents make and not let an industry try to sell us on non-evidence based nonsense.

https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4#:~:text=Children%20spending%20long%20hours%20in,negative%20effect%20on%20later%20behavior.

If you actually read the studies cited on this blog post you'll see "the data" is not nearly as definitive as the author makes it sound. Talk to any speech therapist that works with young toddlers and they will tell you many 1 year olds with expressive language delays magically start talking when they are in a group setting. Just because they aren't playing cooperatively yet doesn't mean they aren't learning from each other.

In my sample size one family, where my daughter had 1:1 and sometimes 2:1 (two teachers to her alone) care (COVID wasn’t bad for everything) I found she made huge strides when she spent time with her cousins compared to with adults alone. Babies are absolutely fascinated by other children. And everyone I know with two kids praises to the skies the benefits of the first child “teaching” the second potty training.

But also? It doesn’t matter. This isn’t about whether daycare and preschool are good options or whether we all should eat rice and beans and never travel to stay home with our kids.

This is about people who actually care what other parents call their childcare. And that’s nothing but sad. I can’t be angry at someone who has that little validating their parenting that this is what they’re fixed on.

I think it’s degrading to NOT use the appropriate language when talking about early childhood development, especially saying ‘it’s all interchangeable.’ It’s a very nuanced field and every stage has different developmental needs and milestones that must be met. insisting that your 2 yo is in in ‘school’ instead of childcare is irrational, because that’s not even an ideal environment for a 2yo. It just shows ignorance and probably guilt. Daycare and/or childcare should not be ‘dirty words.’ They are developmentally appropriate descriptions of care settings.

Once again child care professionals do not use the term "daycare" - it is not anymore appropriate than "school". Btw there are absolutely preschools near me that have half-day 2/3 days per week programs for 2 year olds. Even if daycare were an appropriate term in general it certainly would not apply to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The data just doesn’t support group learning before age 3 or so. If your goal is to ‘school’ a two year old you would hire a nanny because they are learning from a single caregiver and not from peers. The peers are only competitors for the caregivers attention. Any center that is trying to sell you on STEM classes for 2 year olds is ripping you off. They are usually just trying to distract you from the caregiver ratio.

Look for a high caregiver ratio not a curriculum or ‘school’ before age 3/4. Often an in-home daycare is better in this regard, frankly.

After age 3/4 they do learn from peers so there is definite benefit to a school environment.

Let’s just be honest about the tough choices all parents make and not let an industry try to sell us on non-evidence based nonsense.

https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4#:~:text=Children%20spending%20long%20hours%20in,negative%20effect%20on%20later%20behavior.

Not your main point, but "ripping off" is harsh. They're just trying to give parents what parents expect and look for these days. Even my first child's small in-home daycare talked about learning opportunities. It's in the air.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The data just doesn’t support group learning before age 3 or so. If your goal is to ‘school’ a two year old you would hire a nanny because they are learning from a single caregiver and not from peers. The peers are only competitors for the caregivers attention. Any center that is trying to sell you on STEM classes for 2 year olds is ripping you off. They are usually just trying to distract you from the caregiver ratio.

Look for a high caregiver ratio not a curriculum or ‘school’ before age 3/4. Often an in-home daycare is better in this regard, frankly.

After age 3/4 they do learn from peers so there is definite benefit to a school environment.

Let’s just be honest about the tough choices all parents make and not let an industry try to sell us on non-evidence based nonsense.

https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4#:~:text=Children%20spending%20long%20hours%20in,negative%20effect%20on%20later%20behavior.

Not your main point, but "ripping off" is harsh. They're just trying to give parents what parents expect and look for these days. Even my first child's small in-home daycare talked about learning opportunities. It's in the air.

Do some of you really believe that infants and young toddlers can't learn or benefit from being with adults that help them develop language, motor skills and social-emotional skills? Of course, a parent or nanny can do it, but so can a - you guessed it - a teacher!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The data just doesn’t support group learning before age 3 or so. If your goal is to ‘school’ a two year old you would hire a nanny because they are learning from a single caregiver and not from peers. The peers are only competitors for the caregivers attention. Any center that is trying to sell you on STEM classes for 2 year olds is ripping you off. They are usually just trying to distract you from the caregiver ratio.

Look for a high caregiver ratio not a curriculum or ‘school’ before age 3/4. Often an in-home daycare is better in this regard, frankly.

After age 3/4 they do learn from peers so there is definite benefit to a school environment.

Let’s just be honest about the tough choices all parents make and not let an industry try to sell us on non-evidence based nonsense.

https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4#:~:text=Children%20spending%20long%20hours%20in,negative%20effect%20on%20later%20behavior.

If you actually read the studies cited on this blog post you'll see "the data" is not nearly as definitive as the author makes it sound. Talk to any speech therapist that works with young toddlers and they will tell you many 1 year olds with expressive language delays magically start talking when they are in a group setting. Just because they aren't playing cooperatively yet doesn't mean they aren't learning from each other.

In my sample size one family, where my daughter had 1:1 and sometimes 2:1 (two teachers to her alone) care (COVID wasn’t bad for everything) I found she made huge strides when she spent time with her cousins compared to with adults alone. Babies are absolutely fascinated by other children. And everyone I know with two kids praises to the skies the benefits of the first child “teaching” the second potty training.

But also? It doesn’t matter. This isn’t about whether daycare and preschool are good options or whether we all should eat rice and beans and never travel to stay home with our kids.

This is about people who actually care what other parents call their childcare. And that’s nothing but sad. I can’t be angry at someone who has that little validating their parenting that this is what they’re fixed on.

I think it’s degrading to NOT use the appropriate language when talking about early childhood development, especially saying ‘it’s all interchangeable.’ It’s a very nuanced field and every stage has different developmental needs and milestones that must be met. insisting that your 2 yo is in in ‘school’ instead of childcare is irrational, because that’s not even an ideal environment for a 2yo. It just shows ignorance and probably guilt. Daycare and/or childcare should not be ‘dirty words.’ They are developmentally appropriate descriptions of care settings.

Once again child care professionals do not use the term "daycare" - it is not anymore appropriate than "school". Btw there are absolutely preschools near me that have half-day 2/3 days per week programs for 2 year olds. Even if daycare were an appropriate term in general it certainly would not apply to that.

There is literally a thread right below this one in which a mom at first thinks she either needs a nanny OR a preschool for her 2 yo and everyone explains that the pre-school does not equal daycare/childcare for working parents. So yes words DO matter and saying ‘it’s all interchangeable’ is confusing at best and even deliberately deceptive (by people trying to upsell group childcare) at worst.

I have always been a working mom. I have used various combos of daycares, Nannie’s, and preschools For my three kids under 7. All have pluses and minuses, and are family and kid-specific choices. But we need to be honest and realistic about distinguishing the needs of a 2 yo vs a 5 yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The data just doesn’t support group learning before age 3 or so. If your goal is to ‘school’ a two year old you would hire a nanny because they are learning from a single caregiver and not from peers. The peers are only competitors for the caregivers attention. Any center that is trying to sell you on STEM classes for 2 year olds is ripping you off. They are usually just trying to distract you from the caregiver ratio.

Look for a high caregiver ratio not a curriculum or ‘school’ before age 3/4. Often an in-home daycare is better in this regard, frankly.

After age 3/4 they do learn from peers so there is definite benefit to a school environment.

Let’s just be honest about the tough choices all parents make and not let an industry try to sell us on non-evidence based nonsense.

https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4#:~:text=Children%20spending%20long%20hours%20in,negative%20effect%20on%20later%20behavior.

Not your main point, but "ripping off" is harsh. They're just trying to give parents what parents expect and look for these days. Even my first child's small in-home daycare talked about learning opportunities. It's in the air.

Do some of you really believe that infants and young toddlers can't learn or benefit from being with adults that help them develop language, motor skills and social-emotional skills? Of course, a parent or nanny can do it, but so can a - you guessed it - a teacher!

Obviously, they can. That's not what anyone is saying.

The first pp specifically mentioned STEM activities. Learning at age 1 for the *average child* is obviously far different than academic learning at age 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The data just doesn’t support group learning before age 3 or so. If your goal is to ‘school’ a two year old you would hire a nanny because they are learning from a single caregiver and not from peers. The peers are only competitors for the caregivers attention. Any center that is trying to sell you on STEM classes for 2 year olds is ripping you off. They are usually just trying to distract you from the caregiver ratio.

Look for a high caregiver ratio not a curriculum or ‘school’ before age 3/4. Often an in-home daycare is better in this regard, frankly.

After age 3/4 they do learn from peers so there is definite benefit to a school environment.

Let’s just be honest about the tough choices all parents make and not let an industry try to sell us on non-evidence based nonsense.

https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4#:~:text=Children%20spending%20long%20hours%20in,negative%20effect%20on%20later%20behavior.

If you actually read the studies cited on this blog post you'll see "the data" is not nearly as definitive as the author makes it sound. Talk to any speech therapist that works with young toddlers and they will tell you many 1 year olds with expressive language delays magically start talking when they are in a group setting. Just because they aren't playing cooperatively yet doesn't mean they aren't learning from each other.

In my sample size one family, where my daughter had 1:1 and sometimes 2:1 (two teachers to her alone) care (COVID wasn’t bad for everything) I found she made huge strides when she spent time with her cousins compared to with adults alone. Babies are absolutely fascinated by other children. And everyone I know with two kids praises to the skies the benefits of the first child “teaching” the second potty training.

But also? It doesn’t matter. This isn’t about whether daycare and preschool are good options or whether we all should eat rice and beans and never travel to stay home with our kids.

This is about people who actually care what other parents call their childcare. And that’s nothing but sad. I can’t be angry at someone who has that little validating their parenting that this is what they’re fixed on.

I think it’s degrading to NOT use the appropriate language when talking about early childhood development, especially saying ‘it’s all interchangeable.’ It’s a very nuanced field and every stage has different developmental needs and milestones that must be met. insisting that your 2 yo is in in ‘school’ instead of childcare is irrational, because that’s not even an ideal environment for a 2yo. It just shows ignorance and probably guilt. Daycare and/or childcare should not be ‘dirty words.’ They are developmentally appropriate descriptions of care settings.

Once again child care professionals do not use the term "daycare" - it is not anymore appropriate than "school". Btw there are absolutely preschools near me that have half-day 2/3 days per week programs for 2 year olds. Even if daycare were an appropriate term in general it certainly would not apply to that.

There is literally a thread right below this one in which a mom at first thinks she either needs a nanny OR a preschool for her 2 yo and everyone explains that the pre-school does not equal daycare/childcare for working parents. So yes words DO matter and saying ‘it’s all interchangeable’ is confusing at best and even deliberately deceptive (by people trying to upsell group childcare) at worst.

I have always been a working mom. I have used various combos of daycares, Nannie’s, and preschools For my three kids under 7. All have pluses and minuses, and are family and kid-specific choices. But we need to be honest and realistic about distinguishing the needs of a 2 yo vs a 5 yo.

OMG, I did not say the words are interchangeable, I said daycare is not the term used in the child care sector, which you clearly have zero respect for since you continue to insist that "daycare" is the correct term. It is emphatically NOT the correct term, no matter how many times you hilariously screech about words not being interchangeable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The data just doesn’t support group learning before age 3 or so. If your goal is to ‘school’ a two year old you would hire a nanny because they are learning from a single caregiver and not from peers. The peers are only competitors for the caregivers attention. Any center that is trying to sell you on STEM classes for 2 year olds is ripping you off. They are usually just trying to distract you from the caregiver ratio.

Look for a high caregiver ratio not a curriculum or ‘school’ before age 3/4. Often an in-home daycare is better in this regard, frankly.

After age 3/4 they do learn from peers so there is definite benefit to a school environment.

Let’s just be honest about the tough choices all parents make and not let an industry try to sell us on non-evidence based nonsense.

https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4#:~:text=Children%20spending%20long%20hours%20in,negative%20effect%20on%20later%20behavior.

Not your main point, but "ripping off" is harsh. They're just trying to give parents what parents expect and look for these days. Even my first child's small in-home daycare talked about learning opportunities. It's in the air.

Do some of you really believe that infants and young toddlers can't learn or benefit from being with adults that help them develop language, motor skills and social-emotional skills? Of course, a parent or nanny can do it, but so can a - you guessed it - a teacher!

Obviously, they can. That's not what anyone is saying.

The first pp specifically mentioned STEM activities. Learning at age 1 for the *average child* is obviously far different than academic learning at age 3.

Okay?

[Anonymous]

Is learning for a high school senior the same as learning for a kindergarten? If not, how will people know that if they continue to insist that both of them attend "school"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The data just doesn’t support group learning before age 3 or so. If your goal is to ‘school’ a two year old you would hire a nanny because they are learning from a single caregiver and not from peers. The peers are only competitors for the caregivers attention. Any center that is trying to sell you on STEM classes for 2 year olds is ripping you off. They are usually just trying to distract you from the caregiver ratio.

Look for a high caregiver ratio not a curriculum or ‘school’ before age 3/4. Often an in-home daycare is better in this regard, frankly.

After age 3/4 they do learn from peers so there is definite benefit to a school environment.

Let’s just be honest about the tough choices all parents make and not let an industry try to sell us on non-evidence based nonsense.

https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4#:~:text=Children%20spending%20long%20hours%20in,negative%20effect%20on%20later%20behavior.

If you actually read the studies cited on this blog post you'll see "the data" is not nearly as definitive as the author makes it sound. Talk to any speech therapist that works with young toddlers and they will tell you many 1 year olds with expressive language delays magically start talking when they are in a group setting. Just because they aren't playing cooperatively yet doesn't mean they aren't learning from each other.

In my sample size one family, where my daughter had 1:1 and sometimes 2:1 (two teachers to her alone) care (COVID wasn’t bad for everything) I found she made huge strides when she spent time with her cousins compared to with adults alone. Babies are absolutely fascinated by other children. And everyone I know with two kids praises to the skies the benefits of the first child “teaching” the second potty training.

But also? It doesn’t matter. This isn’t about whether daycare and preschool are good options or whether we all should eat rice and beans and never travel to stay home with our kids.

This is about people who actually care what other parents call their childcare. And that’s nothing but sad. I can’t be angry at someone who has that little validating their parenting that this is what they’re fixed on.

I think it’s degrading to NOT use the appropriate language when talking about early childhood development, especially saying ‘it’s all interchangeable.’ It’s a very nuanced field and every stage has different developmental needs and milestones that must be met. insisting that your 2 yo is in in ‘school’ instead of childcare is irrational, because that’s not even an ideal environment for a 2yo. It just shows ignorance and probably guilt. Daycare and/or childcare should not be ‘dirty words.’ They are developmentally appropriate descriptions of care settings.

I think you are an overly uptight person. No one IRL thinks like you and if you were to voice your opinions in conversation, I'd think you'd find people avoiding dealing with someone as inflexible and condescending as you.

People use many terms colloquially and yes, the vast majority of society uses the workds interchangeably. You're judgemental on people who use convenience words based on their experience coping with the children and the situations in their lives. I feel sorry for people like you because you are so antisocial that you don't even realize that you are antisocial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is learning for a high school senior the same as learning for a kindergarten? If not, how will people know that if they continue to insist that both of them attend "school"?

There are actually lots of similarities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only find it weird when people use the term “preschool” for a kid under 3 who is clearly going to daycare. I always get the vibe that they’re self conscious that their kid is going to daycare so they rebrand it as “school.” I say this as someone with a kid in daycare—it’s not school and it’s not supposed to be.

So what should I call where my DD goes? Her childcare center starts at 18 months and offers part time and full time options that largely follow the public school calendar. In fact you apply for admission in the spring to start when school goes back. Summer enrollment is optional. The staff call themselves teachers and there is a curriculum. I call it her preschool because she thinks she is in school like her older sibling in public school. I’ve sent my oldest to a daycare that started at infant age so I have zero problems with daycare FWIW.

It just seems like people are unnecessarily trying to gate keep what can be called school when really the kids are learning at all sorts of centers. Personally I don’t really care if someone calls their childcare a daycare or a school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only find it weird when people use the term “preschool” for a kid under 3 who is clearly going to daycare. I always get the vibe that they’re self conscious that their kid is going to daycare so they rebrand it as “school.” I say this as someone with a kid in daycare—it’s not school and it’s not supposed to be.

So what should I call where my DD goes? Her childcare center starts at 18 months and offers part time and full time options that largely follow the public school calendar. In fact you apply for admission in the spring to start when school goes back. Summer enrollment is optional. The staff call themselves teachers and there is a curriculum. I call it her preschool because she thinks she is in school like her older sibling in public school. I’ve sent my oldest to a daycare that started at infant age so I have zero problems with daycare FWIW.

It just seems like people are unnecessarily trying to gate keep what can be called school when really the kids are learning at all sorts of centers. Personally I don’t really care if someone calls their childcare a daycare or a school.

Dp. You answered your own question. Fwiw I think there is a good debate about what the terms mean and gatekeeping, but the alternative language isn't hard to come up with.

[Anonymous]

What’s the difference between a group of daycare kids who play on the playground for several hours a day being watched by people who make $15-25/hr and a group of nannies who meet at the same neighborhood park every day? The difference to the kids is Zilch!

What’s the difference between a nanny share with 3 kids that doesn’t meet at my house and an in-home daycare with 3 kids and 1 caregiver? The difference my kid is Zilch.

The only difference I can see is that to some people the middle aged white woman at the church preschool who has been teaching for 20 years is somehow superior to the 24 yr old Black woman who has a community college certificate in early education and is working at Bright Horizons until she earns enough money to get a 4 yr degree to teach elementary school. Having participated in a variety of childcare scenarios, the main difference I see in preschool teachers vs daycare worker, nanny, or au pair is not their qualifications and educational background. It’s their age and ethnicity. Preschool teachers tend to be older and whiter because that is who can afford to work part time hours. Somehow looking like the stereotypical teacher from a picture book commands more respect.

I think anyone wringing their hands about “group learning is not evidence based before 3” and “children do best one on one” and “PRE school is DIFFERENT!” are actually saying -
1. I can afford to not work / work part time / pay a nanny.
2. I place a premium on having my children cared for by white native English speakers.
3. I want my children to be socialized with other children whose parents share the same privileges and priorities.
4. The fact that children thrive in a wide variety of care scenarios is a threat to my choice for my family.
5. If another kid is securely attached, well socialized, and well prepared for school despite their parent’s inferior choice of childcare, then what was my sacrifice even for?