I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

$8500 per mo.take home.

-$3100 mortgage
-$300 gas + electric
-$80 internet
-$100 cell phone
-$600-800 groceries
-$125 gas
-$150 car insurance

=-$5000 before counting for any health problems, car repair, clothes, health care, savings, weddings, parties, and other emergency expenses.

That's about right. At your income level, once you have covered what Dave Ramsey calls "The Four Walls" of Shelter, Utilities, Food, and Transportation (the basic necessities) you have about $4000 a month left for discretionary spending. (I take away at least an extra $1,000 from that $5,000 because you should be saving at least that much for house and car repairs). I assume you already had health insurance premiums deducted?

$4000/month for discretionary spending is plenty! It isn't luxurious. But it's plenty.
$4000 monthly:

Health care/medication Copays: $250 (Sign up for an FSA if you can)
Clothing,Haircuts, Grooming: $250
Hobbies and Clubs and Sports: $250
Dining out: $250
Weddings/Entertaining at home/Gifts/Travel: $500
Saving cash for a future car: $500
Miscellaneous: $2000

[Anonymous]

I asked a while ago how much people spent on beauty/grooming and was told it was about $50-100 per month, but there were definite outliers.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/745497.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You are confirming OP’s point. $230k isn’t enough to live a comfortable life. If you can only make it by being a renter an renting a 1bd apartment, or renting out a room or your basement, I can’t imagine how people that are making less are surviving.

We buy cheaper stuff, I guess!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This year has been bad. We had to spend $10k installing brand new brick steps because the stairs to our house were terrible, crumbling, and.had a bad foundation. Right exact at the same.time, a bad storm ruined our fence and we had to replace 100' for about $4k. Simultaneously, our 2016 Mazda needed a lot of maintenance and required about $4000 in repairs etc. Just non-stop hit after hit.

The $10,000 repair for new brick steps was a surprise I am sure. Did you have anything already budgeted for home repair?

Was $10,000 the cheapest repair you could do? Did you get a few quotes? I would think that rebuilding new steps to like a porch would be more like $5000-$7000 and I wonder how good you are at finding the cheapest acceptable options. The same thing for the $4000 for 100 ' of fence. Did you get three quotes first?

What was wrong with your Mazda? Are you going to the dealer or to a local mechanic? Are you getting fleeced basically?

$10k for the steps was quite fair. It was a massive job. The mason we hired was excellent. Yes, I got multiple quotes. I didn't go with the cheapest job because we also wanted quality work that would last forever. He had to dig like 5-8 feet down in order to get below the frost line and build a brand new foundation. The stairs were damaged because it had a bad foundation..he did incredible, beautiful work.

The fence was also from multiple quotes. We actually got a good deal on the 100' of fencing. Other places were quoting way higher. They built it from scratch. Good quality job.

The Mazda needed all new suspension, spark plugs, brakes, etc. etc. They ended up finding issues like cracked control arms and needed to replace struts. ... basically a complete overhaul. It added up quick with all of the other maintenance. It has 110k miles, so much of the repairs and maintenance are due to the age of the car. And I've been going to the same mechanic for 10+ years..he's never ripped me off.

[Anonymous]

OP you are a miser. Are you also a gov employee who will benefit from pension? You need to go to therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's so interesting because we make just $20K more than you, have two elementary-aged kids, have a new (6% interest) $800K mortgage, and have no problem spending and saving money. What are you spending your money on, OP?

p.s. We know you're a troll and are just indulging you on a Saturday morning, sweetie pie.

I think you are the troll (I am not OP). I wish these posters claiming how easy it is would break down their budgets in their responses.

NP but really? You can't make $230K work without feeling "poor"? I agree with the long-winded PP above that you just don't know how. You either aren't counting your savings (this includes retirement) or you are spending too much money. In fake OP's case, she's not counting the fact that she has the luxury to max out her 401k. This alone makes her wealthy. Not my problem that she doesn't know how to manage her money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This year has been bad. We had to spend $10k installing brand new brick steps because the stairs to our house were terrible, crumbling, and.had a bad foundation. Right exact at the same.time, a bad storm ruined our fence and we had to replace 100' for about $4k. Simultaneously, our 2016 Mazda needed a lot of maintenance and required about $4000 in repairs etc. Just non-stop hit after hit.

The $10,000 repair for new brick steps was a surprise I am sure. Did you have anything already budgeted for home repair?

Was $10,000 the cheapest repair you could do? Did you get a few quotes? I would think that rebuilding new steps to like a porch would be more like $5000-$7000 and I wonder how good you are at finding the cheapest acceptable options. The same thing for the $4000 for 100 ' of fence. Did you get three quotes first?

What was wrong with your Mazda? Are you going to the dealer or to a local mechanic? Are you getting fleeced basically?

$10k for the steps was quite fair. It was a massive job. The mason we hired was excellent. Yes, I got multiple quotes. I didn't go with the cheapest job because we also wanted quality work that would last forever. He had to dig like 5-8 feet down in order to get below the frost line and build a brand new foundation. The stairs were damaged because it had a bad foundation..he did incredible, beautiful work.

The fence was also from multiple quotes. We actually got a good deal on the 100' of fencing. Other places were quoting way higher. They built it from scratch. Good quality job.

The Mazda needed all new suspension, spark plugs, brakes, etc. etc. They ended up finding issues like cracked control arms and needed to replace struts. ... basically a complete overhaul. It added up quick with all of the other maintenance. It has 110k miles, so much of the repairs and maintenance are due to the age of the car. And I've been going to the same mechanic for 10+ years..he's never ripped me off.

OK. So with a car with 110,000 miles, you could definitely expect you will need to save for repairs. You need to send $200-$400 every month. Repairs should be zero surprise.

The $10,000 steps- I guess that was necessary. Yes at $230,000 income level a $10,000 repair will hurt! (Our HHI is $170,000 so I understand) still how much do you already set aside for home maintenance? You need to do that.

[Anonymous]

You are insane. My spouse and I have an income of 250k - even with alimony and child support payments taken out, we are just fine. (Two stepkids, one we share).

You need to get your sh** together.

[Anonymous]

I am sympathetic to OP. I'm single and make slightly less (140k) and after maxing out 401k and various little deductibles for health insurance I take home pretty much 2500 per paycheck. That's 5k a month. Out of which 1800 goes to mortgage and 300 to a car payment (second hand with a four year loan, nothing fancy, one year left). That leaves me with 2900 each month to live on. I spend, a minimum, 1,000 to live and that's groceries, gas, little expenses. I have a barebones internet package that is just internet, no TV and a phone plan. Between that and utilities that's probably another 250 a month averaging it out with variations in utilities across the year. I keep my house pretty cool in the winter and pretty warm in the summer (68 winter and 76-68 summer). And then there's always something that comes up, a minor plumbing repair, a vet appointment, car servicing, car insurance twice a year, you name it. Average it to at least another 250/month in misc expenses. That leaves me with 1400 a month in potential savings. In reality, it's closer to 1, probably 1200 a month on average.

It allows me to take a decent vacation but otherwise I never eat out, rarely buy new clothes, never go to concerts, and am always keeping a close eye on spending. Because there's also always something, like a repair to the slate roof - that's a few thousand dollars. I have to start thinking about replacing the car someday, where's that money going to come from. I'm not socking away large amounts of savings each year. I do save a bit on top of the 401k but I'm dreading the day I get smacked with a 20k repair bill for god knows what or unexpected dental care that isn't covered to the full by my insurance. I do have investment funds outside the 401k but yes, I do not feel rich, let alone the upper middle class some of you would be shrieking at me.

And yes, I have no idea how families survive on even 150k when I feel like I'm just staying afloat.

[Anonymous]

PP -

$140,000 income for a single person is not filthy stinking rich, but by your own reporting, it is very, very, very comfortable.

Your are MAXING OUR your retirement, plus you have EXTRA investments, however small you feel them to be, PLUS you own a home and can comfortably pay the mortgage and utilities AND still buy food, and afford a modest vacation, and you can finance a car...I mean, when you think that over 50% of all households in the US have absolutely NOTHING saved for retirement at all, can you see that you are note exactly struggling?

[Anonymous]

It's all about perspective OP. Make the exact same amount as your HHI as a single person, so I also save roughly 5k/month. Yes sometimes it "hurts" when it's only 3k in a month bc there was a 2k expense or $0 bc I took a vacation. And then I snap back to reality, how many people do you think can cash flow these types of expenses rather than saving up for them for months first or putting them on credit card and paying them of for months after?

Do you have NO passive income? Shouldn't that be adding another 10-20k to your HHI? No brokerage account throwing off any dividends and interest payments (for money market or Treasuries)? I mean yeah you normally want to reinvest those but it isn't exactly the end of the world to spend one or two quarters worth of dividends either.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't making as much money as you'd like, you can either apply for higher paying jobs or get second jobs. My spouse and I both work second jobs. I think you need to understand you are not poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This year has been bad. We had to spend $10k installing brand new brick steps because the stairs to our house were terrible, crumbling, and.had a bad foundation. Right exact at the same.time, a bad storm ruined our fence and we had to replace 100' for about $4k. Simultaneously, our 2016 Mazda needed a lot of maintenance and required about $4000 in repairs etc. Just non-stop hit after hit.

The $10,000 repair for new brick steps was a surprise I am sure. Did you have anything already budgeted for home repair?

Was $10,000 the cheapest repair you could do? Did you get a few quotes? I would think that rebuilding new steps to like a porch would be more like $5000-$7000 and I wonder how good you are at finding the cheapest acceptable options. The same thing for the $4000 for 100 ' of fence. Did you get three quotes first?

What was wrong with your Mazda? Are you going to the dealer or to a local mechanic? Are you getting fleeced basically?

$10k for the steps was quite fair. It was a massive job. The mason we hired was excellent. Yes, I got multiple quotes. I didn't go with the cheapest job because we also wanted quality work that would last forever. He had to dig like 5-8 feet down in order to get below the frost line and build a brand new foundation. The stairs were damaged because it had a bad foundation..he did incredible, beautiful work.

The fence was also from multiple quotes. We actually got a good deal on the 100' of fencing. Other places were quoting way higher. They built it from scratch. Good quality job.

The Mazda needed all new suspension, spark plugs, brakes, etc. etc. They ended up finding issues like cracked control arms and needed to replace struts. ... basically a complete overhaul. It added up quick with all of the other maintenance. It has 110k miles, so much of the repairs and maintenance are due to the age of the car. And I've been going to the same mechanic for 10+ years..he's never ripped me off.

OK. So with a car with 110,000 miles, you could definitely expect you will need to save for repairs. You need to send $200-$400 every month. Repairs should be zero surprise.

The $10,000 steps- I guess that was necessary. Yes at $230,000 income level a $10,000 repair will hurt! (Our HHI is $170,000 so I understand) still how much do you already set aside for home maintenance? You need to do that.

Not OP but OP never said that they didn't have money to pay for the home and car repairs. They paid for it. It's just that these expenses eat up a lot of money and $230k is a lot of money as people think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This year has been bad. We had to spend $10k installing brand new brick steps because the stairs to our house were terrible, crumbling, and.had a bad foundation. Right exact at the same.time, a bad storm ruined our fence and we had to replace 100' for about $4k. Simultaneously, our 2016 Mazda needed a lot of maintenance and required about $4000 in repairs etc. Just non-stop hit after hit.

The $10,000 repair for new brick steps was a surprise I am sure. Did you have anything already budgeted for home repair?

Was $10,000 the cheapest repair you could do? Did you get a few quotes? I would think that rebuilding new steps to like a porch would be more like $5000-$7000 and I wonder how good you are at finding the cheapest acceptable options. The same thing for the $4000 for 100 ' of fence. Did you get three quotes first?

What was wrong with your Mazda? Are you going to the dealer or to a local mechanic? Are you getting fleeced basically?

$10k for the steps was quite fair. It was a massive job. The mason we hired was excellent. Yes, I got multiple quotes. I didn't go with the cheapest job because we also wanted quality work that would last forever. He had to dig like 5-8 feet down in order to get below the frost line and build a brand new foundation. The stairs were damaged because it had a bad foundation..he did incredible, beautiful work.

The fence was also from multiple quotes. We actually got a good deal on the 100' of fencing. Other places were quoting way higher. They built it from scratch. Good quality job.

The Mazda needed all new suspension, spark plugs, brakes, etc. etc. They ended up finding issues like cracked control arms and needed to replace struts. ... basically a complete overhaul. It added up quick with all of the other maintenance. It has 110k miles, so much of the repairs and maintenance are due to the age of the car. And I've been going to the same mechanic for 10+ years..he's never ripped me off.

OK. So with a car with 110,000 miles, you could definitely expect you will need to save for repairs. You need to send $200-$400 every month. Repairs should be zero surprise.

The $10,000 steps- I guess that was necessary. Yes at $230,000 income level a $10,000 repair will hurt! (Our HHI is $170,000 so I understand) still how much do you already set aside for home maintenance? You need to do that.

Not OP but OP never said that they didn't have money to pay for the home and car repairs. They paid for it. It's just that these expenses eat up a lot of money and $230k is a lot of money as people think.

Yes the underlying problem doesn’t seem to be OP’s actual expenses so much as OP “feeling poor” because unexpected large expenses have an impact on her savings. I think she just needs to reframe her thinking to “feel rich” when she *can* afford these expenses at all without having to take out loans or go hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This year has been bad. We had to spend $10k installing brand new brick steps because the stairs to our house were terrible, crumbling, and.had a bad foundation. Right exact at the same.time, a bad storm ruined our fence and we had to replace 100' for about $4k. Simultaneously, our 2016 Mazda needed a lot of maintenance and required about $4000 in repairs etc. Just non-stop hit after hit.

The $10,000 repair for new brick steps was a surprise I am sure. Did you have anything already budgeted for home repair?

Was $10,000 the cheapest repair you could do? Did you get a few quotes? I would think that rebuilding new steps to like a porch would be more like $5000-$7000 and I wonder how good you are at finding the cheapest acceptable options. The same thing for the $4000 for 100 ' of fence. Did you get three quotes first?

What was wrong with your Mazda? Are you going to the dealer or to a local mechanic? Are you getting fleeced basically?

$10k for the steps was quite fair. It was a massive job. The mason we hired was excellent. Yes, I got multiple quotes. I didn't go with the cheapest job because we also wanted quality work that would last forever. He had to dig like 5-8 feet down in order to get below the frost line and build a brand new foundation. The stairs were damaged because it had a bad foundation..he did incredible, beautiful work.

The fence was also from multiple quotes. We actually got a good deal on the 100' of fencing. Other places were quoting way higher. They built it from scratch. Good quality job.

The Mazda needed all new suspension, spark plugs, brakes, etc. etc. They ended up finding issues like cracked control arms and needed to replace struts. ... basically a complete overhaul. It added up quick with all of the other maintenance. It has 110k miles, so much of the repairs and maintenance are due to the age of the car. And I've been going to the same mechanic for 10+ years..he's never ripped me off.

OK. So with a car with 110,000 miles, you could definitely expect you will need to save for repairs. You need to send $200-$400 every month. Repairs should be zero surprise.

The $10,000 steps- I guess that was necessary. Yes at $230,000 income level a $10,000 repair will hurt! (Our HHI is $170,000 so I understand) still how much do you already set aside for home maintenance? You need to do that.

Not OP but OP never said that they didn't have money to pay for the home and car repairs. They paid for it. It's just that these expenses eat up a lot of money and $230k is a lot of money as people think.

Yes the underlying problem doesn’t seem to be OP’s actual expenses so much as OP “feeling poor” because unexpected large expenses have an impact on her savings. I think she just needs to reframe her thinking to “feel rich” when she *can* afford these expenses at all without having to take out loans or go hungry.

Exactly, it sounds like OP's finances are actually just fine. It's more a question of psychology.