Son feels bad about height

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Height is strongly correlated to success in business and with women unfortunately

Again, this is a White majority perspective.

As a black woman I can tell you that this also happens in my community. I have black boys who are obsessed with their height and so are their peers. We have all kinds of Nick names for the way people look and shorty being the most common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Height is strongly correlated to success in business and with women unfortunately

Again, this is a White majority perspective.

As a black woman I can tell you that this also happens in my community. I have black boys who are obsessed with their height and so are their peers. We have all kinds of Nick names for the way people look and shorty being the most common.

💯

White women are more willing to date short than black women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Height is strongly correlated to success in business and with women unfortunately

Again, this is a White majority perspective.

Black women are more heightist than white women

I’m a black woman and just responded to this as well. I really laughed at the comment. Clearly the poster has exactly zero experience in the black community.

[Anonymous]

I totally get why there are people on here saying "teach them to be happy how they are!" However it is dismissing the fact that young boys really and truly care about this. While we adults have the perspective to understand there are more important things, we shouldn't invalidate their feelings or the bullying/teasing they're experiencing. I can totally understand how this would make you feel helpless as a parent and wish there was something I could offer to make them feel better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally get why there are people on here saying "teach them to be happy how they are!" However it is dismissing the fact that young boys really and truly care about this. While we adults have the perspective to understand there are more important things, we shouldn't invalidate their feelings or the bullying/teasing they're experiencing. I can totally understand how this would make you feel helpless as a parent and wish there was something I could offer to make them feel better

THANK YOU. I’m reading these responses and feel so bad for all these kids who have parents who totally invalidate them. Many of these people are expecting their teen boys to handle their insecurities like adults. And frankly even adults have silly insecurities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally get why there are people on here saying "teach them to be happy how they are!" However it is dismissing the fact that young boys really and truly care about this. While we adults have the perspective to understand there are more important things, we shouldn't invalidate their feelings or the bullying/teasing they're experiencing. I can totally understand how this would make you feel helpless as a parent and wish there was something I could offer to make them feel better

THANK YOU. I’m reading these responses and feel so bad for all these kids who have parents who totally invalidate them. Many of these people are expecting their teen boys to handle their insecurities like adults. And frankly even adults have silly insecurities.

Do you have a short boy? I posted earlier about my son who is a rising 9th grader and 4'11". He has seen pediatric specialists. Being so short is hard on him. But with rare exceptions--like a kid who is growth-hormone deficient--there is pretty much nothing anyone can do to influence height, or to accelerate growth, despite the various claims being made on this thread.

So--yeah. We do try to teach him to be happy, or at least accepting of his body, because he has the body he has right now and there is nothing he or anyone else can do about it. That doesn't mean we dismiss him or ridicule him for feeling badly. Of course we support him and empathize. But I am not sure what you expect parents in this situation to do, and letting kids wallow in this isn't healthy either. I'm proud of my son for how he holds his own with friends who are a foot taller than him, how he deflects the teasing and joking he experiences about being short, and how he does his best to accept himself for who he is even when that is not easy to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally get why there are people on here saying "teach them to be happy how they are!" However it is dismissing the fact that young boys really and truly care about this. While we adults have the perspective to understand there are more important things, we shouldn't invalidate their feelings or the bullying/teasing they're experiencing. I can totally understand how this would make you feel helpless as a parent and wish there was something I could offer to make them feel better

Mom of short teen here. We COMPLETELY understand that boys care about this. But the fact is that 1) there is nothing anyone can do about it and 2) they have to learn acceptance and it starts at home with their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally get why there are people on here saying "teach them to be happy how they are!" However it is dismissing the fact that young boys really and truly care about this. While we adults have the perspective to understand there are more important things, we shouldn't invalidate their feelings or the bullying/teasing they're experiencing. I can totally understand how this would make you feel helpless as a parent and wish there was something I could offer to make them feel better

THANK YOU. I’m reading these responses and feel so bad for all these kids who have parents who totally invalidate them. Many of these people are expecting their teen boys to handle their insecurities like adults. And frankly even adults have silly insecurities.

Do you have a short boy? I posted earlier about my son who is a rising 9th grader and 4'11". He has seen pediatric specialists. Being so short is hard on him. But with rare exceptions--like a kid who is growth-hormone deficient--there is pretty much nothing anyone can do to influence height, or to accelerate growth, despite the various claims being made on this thread.

So--yeah. We do try to teach him to be happy, or at least accepting of his body, because he has the body he has right now and there is nothing he or anyone else can do about it. That doesn't mean we dismiss him or ridicule him for feeling badly. Of course we support him and empathize. But I am not sure what you expect parents in this situation to do, and letting kids wallow in this isn't healthy either. I'm proud of my son for how he holds his own with friends who are a foot taller than him, how he deflects the teasing and joking he experiences about being short, and how he does his best to accept himself for who he is even when that is not easy to do.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

All of these responses bother me. They all operate from the assumption that being a short male is a bad thing, that you should be reassuring your son that he will eventually be taller. I think it is better to help him learn how to laugh off teasing and find lots of things to feel confident about in himself.

For context: my husband never got his growth spurt. He is 5'4" (he claims), but I am 5'2" and it seems to me we see eye to eye. His height used to bother him, too, when he was that age, but he did learn just to go with it, and the teasing was always friendly teasing among friends, not taunting.

That's a fair point. I don't think friends are teasing him, exactly. He does not like that they sometimes do things like pick him up if a group photo is being taken (he is also skinny). I don't know that he has ever expressed that he dislikes this, but he really shouldn't have to say that - it's a weird thing to do.

If he doesn't like how his friends are treating him, that's the problem, not his height. He needs to learn how to speak up and/or find friends who treat him better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Height is strongly correlated to success in business and with women unfortunately

Again, this is a White majority perspective.

Black women are more heightist than white women

I’m a black woman and just responded to this as well. I really laughed at the comment. Clearly the poster has exactly zero experience in the black community.

I'm actually surprise OP is concern, kid is Hispanic. He might be short in among peers but not in the Latino (Central American) community. Latino men don't suffer from heightism, unless they are below 5'4". LOL

OP, teach your son to embrace his genes!

Chiquito pero picoso. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally get why there are people on here saying "teach them to be happy how they are!" However it is dismissing the fact that young boys really and truly care about this. While we adults have the perspective to understand there are more important things, we shouldn't invalidate their feelings or the bullying/teasing they're experiencing. I can totally understand how this would make you feel helpless as a parent and wish there was something I could offer to make them feel better

THANK YOU. I’m reading these responses and feel so bad for all these kids who have parents who totally invalidate them. Many of these people are expecting their teen boys to handle their insecurities like adults. And frankly even adults have silly insecurities.

Do you have a short boy? I posted earlier about my son who is a rising 9th grader and 4'11". He has seen pediatric specialists. Being so short is hard on him. But with rare exceptions--like a kid who is growth-hormone deficient--there is pretty much nothing anyone can do to influence height, or to accelerate growth, despite the various claims being made on this thread.

So--yeah. We do try to teach him to be happy, or at least accepting of his body, because he has the body he has right now and there is nothing he or anyone else can do about it. That doesn't mean we dismiss him or ridicule him for feeling badly. Of course we support him and empathize. But I am not sure what you expect parents in this situation to do, and letting kids wallow in this isn't healthy either. I'm proud of my son for how he holds his own with friends who are a foot taller than him, how he deflects the teasing and joking he experiences about being short, and how he does his best to accept himself for who he is even when that is not easy to do.

My rising 9th grader is 5'2" and doesn't care at all. He gets different kids grow at different rates and he's on the younger side.

[Anonymous]

Does he really not care at all or does he just not express that to you?

I thought my child wasn't bothered as he never said anything but earlier this year he told me not a day goes by when someone does not tease him about his height. This has been going on for three years, since most of his peers have been in puberty. He is not prone to exaggeration.

[Anonymous]

That's a fair point. I don't think friends are teasing him, exactly. He does not like that they sometimes do things like pick him up if a group photo is being taken (he is also skinny). I don't know that he has ever expressed that he dislikes this, but he really shouldn't have to say that - it's a weird thing to do.


If he doesn't like how his friends are treating him, that's the problem, not his height. He needs to learn how to speak up and/or find friends who treat him better.

I agree it is strange behavior by the friends, which I would find annoying. However, as a petite woman, I have experienced the same thing with people picking me up or patting me on the head. I would talk to them about it before finding new friends. I think people are just not considerate/aware, not that they intend to be jerks.

[Anonymous]

I am 6'3 right now.
I was 5'2 in 9th grade and I got bullied for being short but then once I hit my growth spurt I was the one laughing at them

[Anonymous]

By the way why don't yall just toughen up like man y'all really out here making whole ahh essays about some dang kid being short