Every DCUM beach vacation w/family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, folks-I’m going to be on the frontlines tomorrow. An increasingly “gracious” series of emails re: dinners has been exchanged AND two of the teens (our family and another) are newly vegetarian, one adult newly gluten free and another “minimizing nightshades.” Wish me luck!

Pp here with a report. dinner last night was like the fyre festival. (in terms of logistics failure, not menu. By 9 pm I would have welcomed a fyre festival style cheese sandwich, actually.)

Ooh so the accommodations or food not what was advertised?

[Anonymous]

Any vacation where I have to clean, cook, do laundry, shop, drive, babysit or not be able to take a nap is not a vacation. Our vacations are always in full service resorts and we have several day tours planned with tour operators. Parents are responsible for their kids and I need to have at least one massage session.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, folks-I’m going to be on the frontlines tomorrow. An increasingly “gracious” series of emails re: dinners has been exchanged AND two of the teens (our family and another) are newly vegetarian, one adult newly gluten free and another “minimizing nightshades.” Wish me luck!

Pp here with a report. dinner last night was like the fyre festival. (in terms of logistics failure, not menu. By 9 pm I would have welcomed a fyre festival style cheese sandwich, actually.)

Ooh so the accommodations or food not what was advertised?

Just an absurd plan that was very clearly not going to work and did, as foreseen, devolve into chaos. Details different but it would be as if the person in charge of the day’s dinner was planning (nay, insisting!) on having crabs for dinner and saying all is in hand. Then at like 7 pm starting to call around to see where a bushel of raw crabs can be obtained and requesting others follow through with that because he’s going to individually roast and grind spices for his take on old bay. And then is going to cook each crab individually in a tiny saucepan. It was insanity.

[Anonymous]

Oh boy. How about a BIL who announces that he would take care of dinner on his wife’s birthday, then does not get started until 8 pm, then needs to run to the grocery store, then makes a giant giant mess cooking ribs with no sides or anything, and never cleans up (even giant spills of BBQ sauce in the kitchen or pools of sauce on the stove where he fried the ribs).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stopped going to the beach with my in laws after mt MIL drunkenly argued with me- in front of all the kids- one day at 5 about the ratio of water to rice.

Keep in mind that I am a CIA trained retired chef.

I know this means Culinary Institute of America, but I prefer to read it with the other meaning. It works both ways. Also, I can relate, only it's my teetotaler mother doing the arguing.

[Anonymous]

Oh the crabs and ribs story (starting at 7 and 8 pm respectively) make me very uncomfortable as a planner, a hangry generalist, and an early-to-bedder. Do these two people function in the real world? I have to believe (for my own sanity) that this is just a touch of vacation madness and relaxation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any vacation where I have to clean, cook, do laundry, shop, drive, babysit or not be able to take a nap is not a vacation. Our vacations are always in full service resorts and we have several day tours planned with tour operators. Parents are responsible for their kids and I need to have at least one massage session.

x100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They need to add “elderly relative who insists on cooking meals for everyone but has questionable food safety practices”. That always makes thing fun.

We have this relative (marinates raw meat loosely covered in the fridge, balancing precariously on top of produce) and she also vastly underestimates how much food to make so at least it gives us an excuse to head out for pizza!

My parents always make too little food. They’ll be like “oh we were just going to have a salad and some bread and cheese for dinner.” Then they act like we’re gluttons because that isn’t enough food for us.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the essential debate over whether everyone is supposed to eat the same thing for breakfast or if everyone is on their own or maybe we should go out? Or is someone already out getting coffee and donuts? Or should I make some eggs? I'll make some eggs. Everyone likes scrambled with cheese, right?

Then the grumbling about how nobody wants eggs but they're hungry for lunch at 3pm. You're eating now?, it's almost dinner time!? I made eggs!

HAHA this one is perfection. Gotta love the Old Lady Food Police.

+1

Yes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love #3

"Make sure the house is spacious enough to accommodate everyone (technically) but also no one (comfortably). Some variations to maximize relationship destruction"

We've stayed places where there are enough bedrooms to sleep 10+, but a tiny common area and a kitchen table that seats 4.

One house had several bedrooms with en suite, except for one, ours. And there wasn't a common bathroom with a shower (just a tiny half bath), so we had to go through other people's bedrooms to take showers.

Jesus, how did you survive??

I never again will vacation somewhere I need to encroach on someone else's bedroom just to shower. Luckily we haven't run into again. And ever since the tiny family room house, I study the pictures closely to check out the common areas.

It's hard because most of my friends and family (including me) are on a budget. The BEST family vacation spot ever was when a relative splurged and treated us to a 5 bedroom house and every bedroom was an ocean view master. That was THE most relaxing vacation I've ever been on. But that's high livin' for us yokels, not the norm.

This sounds great! My friends and I used to rent beach houses in our 20's and the couples would rotate if one of the accommodations was sub par (ie: pull out couch - thank fully no bunk beds!). No one person or couple got stuck in the bad sleeping areas. It was completely fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They need to add “elderly relative who insists on cooking meals for everyone but has questionable food safety practices”. That always makes thing fun.

We have this relative (marinates raw meat loosely covered in the fridge, balancing precariously on top of produce) and she also vastly underestimates how much food to make so at least it gives us an excuse to head out for pizza!

My MIL insists on bringing random, about to expire items from her fridge and then guilting everyone into cooking/eating them. She will insist that we absolutely must cook several pounds of expiring chicken and then eat it “on everything” for days. This makes me want to gag. I don’t want to eat things like that on vacation! She has a very hard time accepting this, even though I repeatedly tell her I don’t want to eat anything frozen, won’t eat anything low or nonfat, am not going to help cook/clean the kitchen, and don’t want to take home whatever is left on the last day. We have limited time off and I have zero desire to spend it grocery shopping, cooking, or scrubbing pots and pans. Sorry not sorry!

[Anonymous]

I wish I could talk about what just happened on our vacation but specifics are so insane that they would put me to my in-laws. Suffice it to say-there were loud accusations of lies regarding who ate what, a reprisal of a beach house argument from 10 years ago over dinner, switched flights and early departures, and, finally-a wish (prayer?) that one member of the party learn to keep their mouth shut included during grace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could talk about what just happened on our vacation but specifics are so insane that they would put me to my in-laws. Suffice it to say-there were loud accusations of lies regarding who ate what, a reprisal of a beach house argument from 10 years ago over dinner, switched flights and early departures, and, finally-a wish (prayer?) that one member of the party learn to keep their mouth shut included during grace.

Oh no she did not! RUDE. So sorry, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They need to add “elderly relative who insists on cooking meals for everyone but has questionable food safety practices”. That always makes thing fun.

We have this relative (marinates raw meat loosely covered in the fridge, balancing precariously on top of produce) and she also vastly underestimates how much food to make so at least it gives us an excuse to head out for pizza!

My MIL insists on bringing random, about to expire items from her fridge and then guilting everyone into cooking/eating them. She will insist that we absolutely must cook several pounds of expiring chicken and then eat it “on everything” for days. This makes me want to gag. I don’t want to eat things like that on vacation! She has a very hard time accepting this, even though I repeatedly tell her I don’t want to eat anything frozen, won’t eat anything low or nonfat, am not going to help cook/clean the kitchen, and don’t want to take home whatever is left on the last day. We have limited time off and I have zero desire to spend it grocery shopping, cooking, or scrubbing pots and pans. Sorry not sorry!

+1

Exactly this. Some of the new family members are putting their foot down (re: old or terrible food), thankfully. It doesn't occur to MIL to get mad at SIL's kids or their SO's. In this case, I am thankful.

[Anonymous]

Here’s a twist-family’s vacation house has indoor security cameras with audio set up to capture all possible seating areas.