Are sleepaway camps a good idea?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went when I was a kid and enjoyed it. My oldest started the summer they turned 11 and my other kids were a bit younger and started at 10.

They are never allowed to be alone with any child or adult at their camp. They are grouped by interest and do everything together. That has helped my DC who is usually the slowest to move faster and not hold up the group.

The benefit is that the LOVE it. From the moment they arrive it's non-stop fun. One of my kids can be anxious so it's a great opportunity to face situations independently. My oldest loves the exposure to different types of people. We are African American from the DMV and DCs group this year were different races from other areas. I've seen the positive growth and maturity even in the simple things like following the packing list and packing their own stuff.

I'm super close to my kids so while it's hard (there are no electronics allowed so no contact) I know the benefit for me is preparation when it's time for them to leave for college. The benefit for both me and DH are several date nights and a quiet house.

are you allowed to send letters? I love the snail mail letters I get from my kids and we send letters to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:are you allowed to send letters? I love the snail mail letters I get from my kids and we send letters to them.

DP. At our sleepaway camp, we have an email address. We put the camp and the kids name in the subject. Every morning before breakfast, someone goes to the office and collects the emails, prints them out and during breakfast, there is delivery (like Harry Potter's owl deliveries) to the kids at breakfast. So much easier. So, I usually write my kids about half of the time, like every other day they are gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

I would push back on that. There are not really private places at camp - we were always in big groups with multiple campers and counselors. At churches/temples kids are more likely to be working one on one with an adult. Similarly, at my kids' camps they sleep in big bunks with about 15 people, vs the smaller tents used for a boy scout camping trip. My DH deals with childhood sexual abuse as part of his job and had no problem sending our kids to sleepaway camp but had real concerns with scouting.

Interesting that your DH is specifically concerned with scouts. There is no being alone with someone else anymore. Most places of worship have similar policies. You should be more concerned with places that have no protocols in place or where people say “that can’t happen here.” Sex abuse is more likely to eventually be found where there is opportunity. Opportunity happens in places where people have let their guard down.

Yep. My kids have been in (former cub/boy) scouts for about three years. Any adult going to a sleepaway camp with kids or chaperoning an event has to take the Youth Protection Training. In there, it notes that the scout rule is that no adult can be 1:1 with any individual child other than one in their own family. You can be one adult to multiple kids or you can be multiple adults to one kid. Also, any event that has girls has to have at least one female adult leader who is trained and approved for chaperoning. And no scout is to be alone. If scouts are going to do something independent, they have to have a trail buddy for the buddy system.

Even something as basic as taking a group of kids to the bathroom, you have to be careful. I have taken a group of kids to the bathroom. I send the kids into the bathroom and wait outside. The kids have to stay in the bathroom until there are at least two done, then they can come out. Then I can go in. If there is only one other kid while I am in the bathroom, the penultimate kid has to wait until both can go out together so that I am not 1:1 with the kids. Logistics fun.

So, scouting with adult chaperones is very different than it used to be. The national organization is very, very conscious about the bad image and trying very hard to correct this situation by bending over backwards to try to teach caution to all adult leaders involved.

[Anonymous]

Sex pests are all around you every day

[Anonymous]

My child was dead set against going to overnight camp and really pushed back. I went to overnight camp growing up and knew she we love so I pushed her to go. Just got back today and she absolutely loved it. It was like a non-stop sleepover. She matured and I surprised at how well she packed herself up to go home without my help. She made good friends and bonded with the counselors. We also got a break. I wish we would have done it sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

Statistically, it's your husband, the uncle grandfather, brother, brother's friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to find out how a camp screens its workforce because for every parent asking the questions, there are 20 more on the waitlist who don't care about safety. If you ask for particulars, the camp will literally tell you there's dozens of campers willing to take your spot if you don't drop the subject.

Our camp doesn't do this and it's one of the ones over 100 years old. They will answer every question. Keep asking until you are comfortable. I did. My kids started at 9 and one or multiple children. Have been there for 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

Statistically, it's your husband, the uncle grandfather, brother, brother's friend.

Not the wife aunt grandmother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

Statistically, it's your husband, the uncle grandfather, brother, brother's friend.

Not the wife aunt grandmother?

Statistically no. In practice, maybe. Sex crimes are prosecuted in a sexist way, so maybe women get away with it easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

I would push back on that. There are not really private places at camp - we were always in big groups with multiple campers and counselors. At churches/temples kids are more likely to be working one on one with an adult. Similarly, at my kids' camps they sleep in big bunks with about 15 people, vs the smaller tents used for a boy scout camping trip. My DH deals with childhood sexual abuse as part of his job and had no problem sending our kids to sleepaway camp but had real concerns with scouting.

Interesting that your DH is specifically concerned with scouts. There is no being alone with someone else anymore. Most places of worship have similar policies. You should be more concerned with places that have no protocols in place or where people say “that can’t happen here.” Sex abuse is more likely to eventually be found where there is opportunity. Opportunity happens in places where people have let their guard down.

Yep. My kids have been in (former cub/boy) scouts for about three years. Any adult going to a sleepaway camp with kids or chaperoning an event has to take the Youth Protection Training. In there, it notes that the scout rule is that no adult can be 1:1 with any individual child other than one in their own family. You can be one adult to multiple kids or you can be multiple adults to one kid. Also, any event that has girls has to have at least one female adult leader who is trained and approved for chaperoning. And no scout is to be alone. If scouts are going to do something independent, they have to have a trail buddy for the buddy system.

Even something as basic as taking a group of kids to the bathroom, you have to be careful. I have taken a group of kids to the bathroom. I send the kids into the bathroom and wait outside. The kids have to stay in the bathroom until there are at least two done, then they can come out. Then I can go in. If there is only one other kid while I am in the bathroom, the penultimate kid has to wait until both can go out together so that I am not 1:1 with the kids. Logistics fun.

So, scouting with adult chaperones is very different than it used to be. The national organization is very, very conscious about the bad image and trying very hard to correct this situation by bending over backwards to try to teach caution to all adult leaders involved.

Good to know that the adults are more "cautious" about refraining from raping kids.

[Anonymous]

I LOVED camp as a kid and teenager. I would absolutely hate to send my kid away to camp, and I still recognize that it is one of the most fun things of childhood.

[Anonymous]

I was just on the phone with my former camper, now counselor child. The campers kept grabbing the phone to tell me how much fun they were having. Especially for a kid who sticks with it and has a peer group that returns every year camp can be amazing and a needed counterweight to negative parts of our culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sleep away camp fanatics are not normal

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Do your kids often go away for weeks and spend overnights at “school, sports, scouting or church/temple?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

I would push back on that. There are not really private places at camp - we were always in big groups with multiple campers and counselors. At churches/temples kids are more likely to be working one on one with an adult. Similarly, at my kids' camps they sleep in big bunks with about 15 people, vs the smaller tents used for a boy scout camping trip. My DH deals with childhood sexual abuse as part of his job and had no problem sending our kids to sleepaway camp but had real concerns with scouting.

I mean, you can “push back on that” all you like, but you’ll still be wrong. Shrug.