Are sleepaway camps a good idea?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know some people who have begun sending 9-12 year olds to sleepaway camps. Are they a good idea? If you went, what were the benefits? I hate my kids to be away from me for an extended period of time, so I want to know if it’s any very concrete benefit you found.

With all the sexual abuse going on in churches and scouting as well as unsupervised interactions with experimental older boys, its a questionable choice. However, lots of people have good experiences as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a Jewish thing the sleep away camps?

Yes tons od Jewish camps

[Anonymous]

I went to 1-2 weeks a summer from age 9-13. I loved it. I was a bit of a sensitive kid, and had some serious homesickness the first 2 years. I LOVED everything during the day, but as we finished dinner I started feeling sort of sick. I remember sleeping with my little stuffed animal INSIDE my nightgown so that there was no chance it would fall off my bed in the night. But I was so tired, I don't remember having a hard time sleeping. I just felt this dread for the hour or 2 leading up to bedtime for the first few nights.

But I loved it. I think it was really good for me and how independent I became. My 9 year old is clamoring to try it, but I didn't get myself organized this year. So maybe next year she'll do her first week away. It will certainly be harder for me (and her dad) than for her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a Jewish thing the sleep away camps?

Yes tons od Jewish camps

Because the WASP sleepaway camps used to be prejudice. So Jewish people made their own. But there many waspy sleepaway camps dating back 100+ yrs ago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

I would push back on that. There are not really private places at camp - we were always in big groups with multiple campers and counselors. At churches/temples kids are more likely to be working one on one with an adult. Similarly, at my kids' camps they sleep in big bunks with about 15 people, vs the smaller tents used for a boy scout camping trip. My DH deals with childhood sexual abuse as part of his job and had no problem sending our kids to sleepaway camp but had real concerns with scouting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

I would push back on that. There are not really private places at camp - we were always in big groups with multiple campers and counselors. At churches/temples kids are more likely to be working one on one with an adult. Similarly, at my kids' camps they sleep in big bunks with about 15 people, vs the smaller tents used for a boy scout camping trip. My DH deals with childhood sexual abuse as part of his job and had no problem sending our kids to sleepaway camp but had real concerns with scouting.

I am sorry, but no church employee is dumb enough anymore to do anything one on one with a child. Even in high school in the 90's, when I told my youth pastor I was suicidal, we met at Starbucks and talked. Not his office at the church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

I would push back on that. There are not really private places at camp - we were always in big groups with multiple campers and counselors. At churches/temples kids are more likely to be working one on one with an adult. Similarly, at my kids' camps they sleep in big bunks with about 15 people, vs the smaller tents used for a boy scout camping trip. My DH deals with childhood sexual abuse as part of his job and had no problem sending our kids to sleepaway camp but had real concerns with scouting.

Interesting that your DH is specifically concerned with scouts. There is no being alone with someone else anymore. Most places of worship have similar policies. You should be more concerned with places that have no protocols in place or where people say “that can’t happen here.” Sex abuse is more likely to eventually be found where there is opportunity. Opportunity happens in places where people have let their guard down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

I would push back on that. There are not really private places at camp - we were always in big groups with multiple campers and counselors. At churches/temples kids are more likely to be working one on one with an adult. Similarly, at my kids' camps they sleep in big bunks with about 15 people, vs the smaller tents used for a boy scout camping trip. My DH deals with childhood sexual abuse as part of his job and had no problem sending our kids to sleepaway camp but had real concerns with scouting.

Interesting that your DH is specifically concerned with scouts. There is no being alone with someone else anymore. Most places of worship have similar policies. You should be more concerned with places that have no protocols in place or where people say “that can’t happen here.” Sex abuse is more likely to eventually be found where there is opportunity. Opportunity happens in places where people have let their guard down.

My DH had to talk to a lot of the survivors of scouting sexual abuse. That was enough for him. It sounds like they have changed their rules, which is great. I just don't see sleepaway camp as any riskier than anything else and I am not sure why it would be -- do you think if something happened your kid would immediately tell you when they got home (and the fact they will be away for weeks is what makes sleepaway camp riskier)? that is a myth, kids typically don't tell anyone. https://nationalcac.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/FINAL-10-Common-Myths-with-References.pdf

[Anonymous]

Very kid dependent. I am surprised at the 6 and 7 year olds who go because at that age my kids were pretty helpless, but by age 10 its a highlight of the summer to get to be away from home with friends doing fun stuff for a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

can one be more obtuse than this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

I would push back on that. There are not really private places at camp - we were always in big groups with multiple campers and counselors. At churches/temples kids are more likely to be working one on one with an adult. Similarly, at my kids' camps they sleep in big bunks with about 15 people, vs the smaller tents used for a boy scout camping trip. My DH deals with childhood sexual abuse as part of his job and had no problem sending our kids to sleepaway camp but had real concerns with scouting.

Interesting that your DH is specifically concerned with scouts. There is no being alone with someone else anymore. Most places of worship have similar policies. You should be more concerned with places that have no protocols in place or where people say “that can’t happen here.” Sex abuse is more likely to eventually be found where there is opportunity. Opportunity happens in places where people have let their guard down.

My DH had to talk to a lot of the survivors of scouting sexual abuse. That was enough for him. It sounds like they have changed their rules, which is great. I just don't see sleepaway camp as any riskier than anything else and I am not sure why it would be -- do you think if something happened your kid would immediately tell you when they got home (and the fact they will be away for weeks is what makes sleepaway camp riskier)? that is a myth, kids typically don't tell anyone. https://nationalcac.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/FINAL-10-Common-Myths-with-References.pdf

Abusers use threats that sound credible to naive pre-teens. Like telling the the victim that he/she will get in trouble too if anyone finds out. That's pretty standard for abusers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

Logistically, there is more opportunity at sleep away camp.

I would push back on that. There are not really private places at camp - we were always in big groups with multiple campers and counselors. At churches/temples kids are more likely to be working one on one with an adult. Similarly, at my kids' camps they sleep in big bunks with about 15 people, vs the smaller tents used for a boy scout camping trip. My DH deals with childhood sexual abuse as part of his job and had no problem sending our kids to sleepaway camp but had real concerns with scouting.

I am sorry, but no church employee is dumb enough anymore to do anything one on one with a child. Even in high school in the 90's, when I told my youth pastor I was suicidal, we met at Starbucks and talked. Not his office at the church.

Uhhh MANY churches still do private meetings. It’s called “confession” or in Mormonism it’s meetings with your bishop (who is some random dude). It’s completely inappropriate and horrible and a big reason I don’t like organized religion.

[Anonymous]

I went when I was a kid and enjoyed it. My oldest started the summer they turned 11 and my other kids were a bit younger and started at 10.

They are never allowed to be alone with any child or adult at their camp. They are grouped by interest and do everything together. That has helped my DC who is usually the slowest to move faster and not hold up the group.

The benefit is that the LOVE it. From the moment they arrive it's non-stop fun. One of my kids can be anxious so it's a great opportunity to face situations independently. My oldest loves the exposure to different types of people. We are African American from the DMV and DCs group this year were different races from other areas. I've seen the positive growth and maturity even in the simple things like following the packing list and packing their own stuff.

I'm super close to my kids so while it's hard (there are no electronics allowed so no contact) I know the benefit for me is preparation when it's time for them to leave for college. The benefit for both me and DH are several date nights and a quiet house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fear about sex abuse is surprising to me. For the people worried about this, do your kids participate in sports, go to school, do scouting, go to church/temple? Those all seem just as high risk as sleepaway camp.

can one be more obtuse than this?

Are there any stats that show sleeping camps (not counting boy scouts camps) are higher risk? I know of two DC schools that have recently had sex abuse scandals in recent years. I don't know if any sleepaway camp sex abuse scandals. But I recognize those are just anecdotes.i also just see more opportunities in schools (kids meet with a teacher alone for extra help) vs camp where they are normally always in groups.