DS given melatonin gummies as prank by “friends at sleepover

[Anonymous]

Why on earth would you even allow a sleepover with 15 boys at the age of 15? Nothing good happens at sleepovers at this age.

And yes, I agree you need to contact the host family immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have socially awkward teen desperate for friends so I understand.

Bare minimum is that he need to get off that soccer team and find another one. He’s not safe around those kids and should never be around them.

If you can do that then I might consider not contacting the other parents.

Ugh…

He has practice tomorrow and has told me he’s going to pretend it didn’t happen. I haven’t gotten a chance to really talk to DH about it but I do think we are done with this soccer team.

He’s played since he was 6 but this is a newer team he started in last year.

This is a horrible situation.
I think I would let him go to practice so that he doesn't feel like the other boys 'won'. And I would tell the coach that he is dropping soccer because of hazing from his teammates. I would let the coach know everything.

I would not contact all the parents. Just the host parents so that they are aware of what happened under their roof. I am guessing it is the child of the host parents who came up with the melatonin and not another kid who brought it. It may very well be that the host parents will deny or minimize what happened. Word will likely get around once you contact them.

[Anonymous]

OP I am so sorry this happened to your son. It is such a violation. I am sure he wants to brush it under the rug and pretend it is no big deal. But it is a very big deal. Please consider setting him up with a counselor to talk through it, even if he doesn’t want to. Might be helpful to just have someone to check in with every couple of months as he processes it. This will stay with him for a long time.

You must tell the other parents. Do you have a phone list? I would start with the host and then work your way down the list. Write out a script for yourself. You could even read them your OP. Tell them you are letting them know because you would want to know if this was something your child did. If they are rude or critical or dismissive, do not engage, just thank them for the time and end the call. Try to stay neutral and not accusatory. The most generous interpretation is that they were foolish. Approach it that way with the other parents. But you have to let them know.

If this is a travel soccer team I’d tell the coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you know the kids’ parents at all? I would ask them to raise it with their kids ensuring my child doesn’t come across as the one who told. Obviously these kids think drugging someone is funny, so who knows what they would do.

There were 14 boys there. Maybe another was uncomfortable with the whole thing. Maybe they also did it to someone else.

I know all of the parents and have all of their numbers. Am I close to any? No.

I know I’d be very surprised to learn if one of the boys was in on it. He’s a sweet kid and his moms do not mess around. But he had to at least know what was happening, I’m not sure why he didn’t speak up. I guess if it wasn’t my son it would have been him.

I may reach out to them as they’ve been the most approachable.

Exactly. If it wasn’t your son, it will continue to be someone else until someone speaks up. I think you need to contact the parents who hosted, at a minimum. All of the parents need to hear what this group did. I am so sorry this happened to your son and I am sorry for the pain it causes you too.

[Anonymous]

1. Restraining orders against all the boys.

2. Hope that gets them kicked off the soccer team. If not, switch to a new team / league.

3. Call CPS to report the parent who let their son run off with drugs -- there's probably a lot more going on.


4. Expect bullying toncontuy.

[Anonymous]

4. If they are in school together, expect bullying to continue. Call school/police/CPS aa appropriate every time until the bullies (kids or adults) get transferred to behavioral disorder schools or in the justice system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would (a) tell the school; (b) call the police and file a police report; and (c) tell the soccer coach.

That was dangerous, unlawful, and could have been deadly.

I posted earlier. I don't think his has anything to do with the school. It didn't happen on school property. This is an event between the sets of parents.

Op, the parents likely won't belive you, but it's best to report and let them know you will contact the police. Does your son have text messages? I'm certain those boys took video. In the end I still say this will lead to those boys thinking it's okay to drug their future dates if someone doesn't stop it. Op give an update.

Also your son is already being bullied. Your actions cant possibly make it worse. These kids are not his friends and if he believes they are and wants to continue to hang with them get him therapy. I would leave the team and let the coach know why in a matter of fact way. The coach can't do much but I think other adults should be aware because when another kid accuses these kids of this behavior there will be a record. Also travel soccer teams sometimes go with coaches and I as a coach would not feel comfortable taking responsibility for kids who would do this.

At my son’s school (independent school) you can be disciplined for things that happen outside of school and I’m pretty sure that this kind of offense would merit an expulsion, and rightly so.

I would definitely want to know if my child did this to another child.

Please tell the parents and the coach.

[Anonymous]

OP, my DD was the target of bullies for the last three weeks of the school year. I thought about it for a few days and decided not the contact the parents for all the reasons you’re probably contemplating now. My DD is also the odd person out and trying so hard to integrate into a social group.

But this is not a close call. They drugged your child. He got sick and could have been seriously harmed. I would be calling every single parent on the list and the coach.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry for your kid. Those boys were beyond horrid and inappropriate.

But: Yes, you absolutely have to say something to *all* the parents (not just the hosts) and to the coach.. That was dangerous, inexcusable behavior.

Imagine what they'll do to your kid -- or someone else's -- next time if no one does anything now. It will get worse and more dangerous. Just imagine if a kid vomited in his sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have socially awkward teen desperate for friends so I understand.

Bare minimum is that he need to get off that soccer team and find another one. He’s not safe around those kids and should never be around them.

If you can do that then I might consider not contacting the other parents.

Ugh…

He has practice tomorrow and has told me he’s going to pretend it didn’t happen. I haven’t gotten a chance to really talk to DH about it but I do think we are done with this soccer team.

He’s played since he was 6 but this is a newer team he started in last year.

OP, please don’t let him go to practice. The other kids are not going to pretend it didn’t happen, they will most certainly joke about it and try to provoke him. The severity of what they did to him obligates you to intervene here and show him that you have his back. He will be upset with you in the short term but someone needs to help him here. My heart is breaking for both of you. Please know that doing the hard thing is the right thing. The PPs suggestion for writing a script to share factual details with the other parents is spot on. We’re all supporting you here.

[Anonymous]

I would tell the parents. Saying normally a prank wouldn't be a big deal , but because Larlo was very ill and I had to take him to the UC, I wanted you to know. Please make sure the children know that some pranks including this one can be dangerous. Larlo has recovered, but I don't want anyone to be seriously hurt.

Next, focus on finding friends that appreciate him and wouldn't do something like that.

Sorry this happened.

[Anonymous]

OP I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this but you need to contact the parents and the coach. Also, please teach your son that these boys are not his friends and he doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. He should be friends with people who treat him well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Restraining orders against all the boys.

2. Hope that gets them kicked off the soccer team. If not, switch to a new team / league.

3. Call CPS to report the parent who let their son run off with drugs -- there's probably a lot more going on.


4. Expect bullying toncontuy.

Restraining orders? CPS? Seriously? You sound whacko.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This serious enough to make this kid sick and in need of medical attention. He was knocked out. He could have choked on vomit during the night. He could have been abused and not woken up (would be more concerned about that in the case of a daughter).

This is terrifying and does happen. Melatonin may not be as strong as some other sleeping pills but it’s still no joke. Especially this many.

The mother should find out how many milligrams each gummy was. He vomited, that’s a symptom of overdose. Some people can develop low BP especially a younger person.

I wonder if they did anything to him like take nude pictures or something. These are the type of boys who will graduate to doing this type of stuff to girls if they aren’t stopped now.

[Anonymous]

Are you friends with any other parents on the team? I'd probably start there, talk to them to see if maybe their kid said anything about it?

And I think I would tell the coach. My kid's coach would be horrified at this kind of behavior.

I'm sorry this happened to your kid. We've had similar issues with ours trying to keep up with the cool kids who aren't nice, and I've got a daughter.