comebacks for mean MS kids?

[Anonymous]

MS dd had a boy say to her "someone is looking for my penis, can I hide it in you" I told her that boys can't handle small penis jokes so she went back and told him "your penis is so small, I don't think you need to hide it" She said it to him in front of his friends and they all laughed at him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

I'll add: I say this all from experience.

Last year, my DS, age 14 at the time, was getting teased a lot in gym class. He played for one baseball team and a group of boys in the same MS played for a different one. And it was non-stop. Not just about baseball, about everything. There were tears at home, and my partner kept advising to just ignore and walk away. It just ATE him up inside.

I couldn't stand it anymore. So my partner finally listened to my advice to let him stand up for himself. We discovered that one of the kid's dad (and a coach on the team!) had been sentenced to 4 years in prison in the early 2000s for grand larceny. The kid didn't know that about his dad.

And guess what? We get that info in the chamber, until the perfect moment. Right when the kid tried to push my DS out of his seat in the lunchroom, he busted out the comments about theft running in the family and 'better be careful, or you'll end at Rikers like your Dad. Oh, you guys didnt know that Billy's dad was in prison? You should ask him at your next practce."

Definitely risky. And the boys still hate each other. But the comments have stopped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MS dd had a boy say to her "someone is looking for my penis, can I hide it in you" I told her that boys can't handle small penis jokes so she went back and told him "your penis is so small, I don't think you need to hide it" She said it to him in front of his friends and they all laughed at him.

That's brilliant. Good for her. And for you.

As others have said, the trick is to get the group laughing at the bully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

You need to move him to a different school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

You need to move him to a different school.

That's cowardice.

[Anonymous]

Whatever and walking away is the best answer.

A MSer doesn't need come backs from 50 year old dorks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever and walking away is the best answer.

A MSer doesn't need come backs from 50 year old dorks.

+1

I agree. The best you can do is show bullies (young and old) that they don't bother you, otherwise they will keep poking. What you want is to end their game with you, and have them move on to someone else -because in their world, that is how they live, there always has to be a target (since they were/are always a target), it is all they know. Bullies are damaged goods, don't let them poison you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

Wouldn't it have been simpler to move your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

Wouldn't it have been simpler to move your kid?

Well, no. It would only take an hour or so to dig up dirt on the kids.

And I would NEVER teach that lesson to my kid. You have to try to stand up for yourself first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever and walking away is the best answer.

A MSer doesn't need come backs from 50 year old dorks.

+1

I agree. The best you can do is show bullies (young and old) that they don't bother you, otherwise they will keep poking. What you want is to end their game with you, and have them move on to someone else -because in their world, that is how they live, there always has to be a target (since they were/are always a target), it is all they know. Bullies are damaged goods, don't let them poison you.

But what happens when that doesn't work? You can only tell your kid to ignore and walk away for so long, before it crushes them.

You're telling them its ok to let people treat them like crap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

I'll add: I say this all from experience.

Last year, my DS, age 14 at the time, was getting teased a lot in gym class. He played for one baseball team and a group of boys in the same MS played for a different one. And it was non-stop. Not just about baseball, about everything. There were tears at home, and my partner kept advising to just ignore and walk away. It just ATE him up inside.

I couldn't stand it anymore. So my partner finally listened to my advice to let him stand up for himself. We discovered that one of the kid's dad (and a coach on the team!) had been sentenced to 4 years in prison in the early 2000s for grand larceny. The kid didn't know that about his dad.

And guess what? We get that info in the chamber, until the perfect moment. Right when the kid tried to push my DS out of his seat in the lunchroom, he busted out the comments about theft running in the family and 'better be careful, or you'll end at Rikers like your Dad. Oh, you guys didnt know that Billy's dad was in prison? You should ask him at your next practce."

Definitely risky. And the boys still hate each other. But the comments have stopped.

You know what? I shouldn't love this, but I do - because there is **ALWAYS ENORMOUS DIRT** ALWAYS on bullies - and the bullies know that. Chances are, the dad/parents were enormous bullies, and the kids were reacting. Troublemakers breed troublemakers. Do what you gotta do, I say. Some people just don't know when to stop - that is their problem, not yours. If they don't know what your limits are, they will - and it will not end well for them. Again, they asked for it. :shrug:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever and walking away is the best answer.

A MSer doesn't need come backs from 50 year old dorks.

+1

I agree. The best you can do is show bullies (young and old) that they don't bother you, otherwise they will keep poking. What you want is to end their game with you, and have them move on to someone else -because in their world, that is how they live, there always has to be a target (since they were/are always a target), it is all they know. Bullies are damaged goods, don't let them poison you.

But what happens when that doesn't work? You can only tell your kid to ignore and walk away for so long, before it crushes them.

You're telling them its ok to let people treat them like crap

See the next thread ^^ I like this.

[Anonymous]

The bullies made their choice, push their face in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS dd had a boy say to her "someone is looking for my penis, can I hide it in you" I told her that boys can't handle small penis jokes so she went back and told him "your penis is so small, I don't think you need to hide it" She said it to him in front of his friends and they all laughed at him.

That's brilliant. Good for her. And for you.

As others have said, the trick is to get the group laughing at the bully.

+1

Or speechless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

You need to move him to a different school.

That's cowardice.

Who cares. Life is too short to let your kid get bullied like this.