comebacks for mean MS kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

I'll add: I say this all from experience.

Last year, my DS, age 14 at the time, was getting teased a lot in gym class. He played for one baseball team and a group of boys in the same MS played for a different one. And it was non-stop. Not just about baseball, about everything. There were tears at home, and my partner kept advising to just ignore and walk away. It just ATE him up inside.

I couldn't stand it anymore. So my partner finally listened to my advice to let him stand up for himself. We discovered that one of the kid's dad (and a coach on the team!) had been sentenced to 4 years in prison in the early 2000s for grand larceny. The kid didn't know that about his dad.

And guess what? We get that info in the chamber, until the perfect moment. Right when the kid tried to push my DS out of his seat in the lunchroom, he busted out the comments about theft running in the family and 'better be careful, or you'll end at Rikers like your Dad. Oh, you guys didnt know that Billy's dad was in prison? You should ask him at your next practce."

Definitely risky. And the boys still hate each other. But the comments have stopped.

You know what? I shouldn't love this, but I do - because there is **ALWAYS ENORMOUS DIRT** ALWAYS on bullies - and the bullies know that. Chances are, the dad/parents were enormous bullies, and the kids were reacting. Troublemakers breed troublemakers. Do what you gotta do, I say. Some people just don't know when to stop - that is their problem, not yours. If they don't know what your limits are, they will - and it will not end well for them. Again, they asked for it. :shrug:

Yup, f around and find out.

Bully will move on after your obliterate them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

You need to move him to a different school.

That's cowardice.

Who cares. Life is too short to let your kid get bullied like this.

Nah. I'm not gonna raise a doormat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

You need to move him to a different school.

You think teasing I middle school doesn’t go on it all schools? Every. Single. One.

If someone needs to run away from the painful experience of middle school they need to homeschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

You need to move him to a different school.

You think teasing I middle school doesn’t go on it all schools? Every. Single. One.

If someone needs to run away from the painful experience of middle school they need to homeschool.

+1

Plus, all you're doing is kicking the can down the road until they are adults. There are jerks at every age

"run away when things get hard because its easier than standing up for yourself" is a really bad lesson

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

I'll add: I say this all from experience.

Last year, my DS, age 14 at the time, was getting teased a lot in gym class. He played for one baseball team and a group of boys in the same MS played for a different one. And it was non-stop. Not just about baseball, about everything. There were tears at home, and my partner kept advising to just ignore and walk away. It just ATE him up inside.

I couldn't stand it anymore. So my partner finally listened to my advice to let him stand up for himself. We discovered that one of the kid's dad (and a coach on the team!) had been sentenced to 4 years in prison in the early 2000s for grand larceny. The kid didn't know that about his dad.

And guess what? We get that info in the chamber, until the perfect moment. Right when the kid tried to push my DS out of his seat in the lunchroom, he busted out the comments about theft running in the family and 'better be careful, or you'll end at Rikers like your Dad. Oh, you guys didnt know that Billy's dad was in prison? You should ask him at your next practce."

Definitely risky. And the boys still hate each other. But the comments have stopped.

You know what? I shouldn't love this, but I do - because there is **ALWAYS ENORMOUS DIRT** ALWAYS on bullies - and the bullies know that. Chances are, the dad/parents were enormous bullies, and the kids were reacting. Troublemakers breed troublemakers. Do what you gotta do, I say. Some people just don't know when to stop - that is their problem, not yours. If they don't know what your limits are, they will - and it will not end well for them. Again, they asked for it. :shrug:

Yup, f around and find out.

Bully will move on after your obliterate them.

+1

Let the bully be the one to have to make the decision, after you put them in their place.

[Anonymous]

Most of the responses on here are super lame.

At the very least, he could just be really direct and really mean:

"dude, stfu, or at least, do the rest of the us a favor, and go kill yourself"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

I'll add: I say this all from experience.

Last year, my DS, age 14 at the time, was getting teased a lot in gym class. He played for one baseball team and a group of boys in the same MS played for a different one. And it was non-stop. Not just about baseball, about everything. There were tears at home, and my partner kept advising to just ignore and walk away. It just ATE him up inside.

I couldn't stand it anymore. So my partner finally listened to my advice to let him stand up for himself. We discovered that one of the kid's dad (and a coach on the team!) had been sentenced to 4 years in prison in the early 2000s for grand larceny. The kid didn't know that about his dad.

And guess what? We get that info in the chamber, until the perfect moment. Right when the kid tried to push my DS out of his seat in the lunchroom, he busted out the comments about theft running in the family and 'better be careful, or you'll end at Rikers like your Dad. Oh, you guys didnt know that Billy's dad was in prison? You should ask him at your next practce."

Definitely risky. And the boys still hate each other. But the comments have stopped.

You know what? I shouldn't love this, but I do - because there is **ALWAYS ENORMOUS DIRT** ALWAYS on bullies - and the bullies know that. Chances are, the dad/parents were enormous bullies, and the kids were reacting. Troublemakers breed troublemakers. Do what you gotta do, I say. Some people just don't know when to stop - that is their problem, not yours. If they don't know what your limits are, they will - and it will not end well for them. Again, they asked for it. :shrug:

I kind of agree. Definitely an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

You need to move him to a different school.

You think teasing I middle school doesn’t go on it all schools? Every. Single. One.

If someone needs to run away from the painful experience of middle school they need to homeschool.

+1

Plus, all you're doing is kicking the can down the road until they are adults. There are jerks at every age

"run away when things get hard because its easier than standing up for yourself" is a really bad lesson

We moved our DD for high school due to verbal bullying. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

You need to move him to a different school.

That's cowardice.

Who cares. Life is too short to let your kid get bullied like this.

Nah. I'm not gonna raise a doormat

Your poor kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

Sorry so late to seeing this -- what I found too be the most effective thing of all, weren't comebacks (because they'll just come back at him and then he'll have nothing to say back after that) and around & around they'll go.

What I finally did that stopped it once and for all... was yawn.
Seriously... they'd say something and I just yawned and looked at them like I was either bored out of my mind and continue on to what I was just doing or yawn and walk away.

It worked EVERY time and left them dumbfounded as to what I've was doing and eventually it stopped, because they looked dumb as he11 standing there trying to cut me down and I acted like I didn't even hear them, and what I did hear, I didn't have time to waste on.

Practice that with your kid, he'll feel so empowered the first time he pulls it off successfully, but practice it because timing is everything.

[Anonymous]

* sorry for the typos...

and one other thing, make sure it's a really pronounced, exaggerated yawn... arms all out to the sides when doing it, because they'll look extra dumb when all the other 12 year olds laugh at it. If they do say anything back, all he had to say is I'm bored of this... aren't you bored? Because this is so painfully (exaggerate on the word painfully) boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Oh you are a bully. Kids who bully others are often abused at home by their parents. I feel sorry for you."

"Maybe, I need to tell my mom about your bullying and she can talk to your mom? Will you get into trouble and stop being mean/nasty/homophobic/racist/InCel?'

Oh my goodness, do NOT do this. Nothing pushes an abused person to escalation than being called out. I really hope you are not a parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the responses on here are super lame.

At the very least, he could just be really direct and really mean:

"dude, stfu, or at least, do the rest of the us a favor, and go kill yourself"

So, you are encouraging your middle schooler to tell another middle schooler to kill themselves? Sounds like you are the bully.

F you and your kid

[Anonymous]

Perhaps it's because I work in the criminal justice system, but why are parents to encourage finding the most harmful way to hurt others (even if they are bullies).

I mean, especially today on the anniversary of Columbine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

This is a terrible idea. If a kid is capable of winning the battle either with fists or mean comments or jokes then that's not the kid that gets bullied. Mean comments in return will simply be used to justify the bully's treatment and turn peers away from the victim.