Husband’s Announcement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should move. It’s your marriage vow.

You vowed to support all of your husbands stupid ideas and just do as you are told? Wow. Never heard that one before.

Where you go I will go.

And he’s obviously been considering it for a year.

Must be the one your wrote yourself because in the traditional ones that most of us vowed it says nothing of the sort:

"In the name of God, I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

[Anonymous]

Either a troll or OP's husband needs some therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op. Which state? Check the divorce laws there. He may just be looking to file in a more favorable jurisdiction.

This.

Also wondering @ an affair.

@ = the word “at”, not “about”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New census migration data - fastest growing states are Texas, Florida, Georgia and North Carolina. This is not just OPs husband.

Is there a compromise for a blue city in a red state? RTP or maybe Atlanta suburbs? Even Huntsville is supposedly decent.

Huntsville is decent because of the University of Alabama but it's a pocket still very much in AL with all of the Alabama laws.

UAB is in Birmingham

And the University of Alabama is in Tuscaloosa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should move. It’s your marriage vow.

You vowed to support all of your husbands stupid ideas and just do as you are told? Wow. Never heard that one before.

Where you go I will go.

And he’s obviously been considering it for a year.

Words spoken by a DIL to a MIL.

If people choose to take it out of context and use it for their marriage vows, that's on them.

What about
"5And God said, ‘So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body.’ 6So there are not two, but one. God has joined the two together, so no one should separate them.”

What he is going is wrong Biblically. Come at me, Bible poster. I read it too.

[Anonymous]

And it was about immigrating to a new land as part of her family. A thing conservatives hate.

[Anonymous]

Speaking as a conservative in this area, if the school influence is a concern, consider more rural and conservative counties of VA and Maryland. It doesn't help with your vote but they

Your husband might find that the state he wants to move to is getting purpler anyway, because people moving from e.g. California or PNW are still bringing their west coast ideas into, say, Texas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should move. It’s your marriage vow.

You vowed to support all of your husbands stupid ideas and just do as you are told? Wow. Never heard that one before.

Where you go I will go.

And he’s obviously been considering it for a year.

The bold is from the Biblical book of Ruth. She said those words to Naomi, not to her husband Boaz.

At least use your Bible quotes in the correct context if you're going to lob them around.

I think the Bible says something about a woman crying for 30 days when she leaves the house of her parents to marry her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op. Which state? Check the divorce laws there. He may just be looking to file in a more favorable jurisdiction.

+1

How quickly can he establish residency also. He could make it hard for you to leave and you would bear the burden of transporting the kids to/from him.

I'm sorry to add the friends I've had who recently divorced had spouses who talked them in to moving first then sprang the divorce on them once they had sold the house and moved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New census migration data - fastest growing states are Texas, Florida, Georgia and North Carolina. This is not just OPs husband.

Is there a compromise for a blue city in a red state? RTP or maybe Atlanta suburbs? Even Huntsville is supposedly decent.

Huntsville is decent because of the University of Alabama but it's a pocket still very much in AL with all of the Alabama laws.

You know nothing about Huntsville.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should move. It’s your marriage vow.

You vowed to support all of your husbands stupid ideas and just do as you are told? Wow. Never heard that one before.

Where you go I will go.

And he’s obviously been considering it for a year.

Words spoken by a DIL to a MIL.

If people choose to take it out of context and use it for their marriage vows, that's on them.

What about
"5And God said, ‘So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body.’ 6So there are not two, but one. God has joined the two together, so no one should separate them.”

What he is going is wrong Biblically. Come at me, Bible poster. I read it too.

Ily. You’re my favorite poster this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I don’t think he’s having an affair but I do agree with the midlife crisis idea. Yes, he wants to just up and move without a job there and without knowing anyone. This is all about him wanting to be in a red state rather than navigating his political views where we currently live. Yes, I can afford to maintain our lifestyle without his help, but it sure would be nice to have a partner in the future. I will research the divorce laws. What kind of man would just up and move and expect his wife and kids to follow? And logistically, he would expect me to do all the packing, sell the house, etc.

I'm calling troll.

He is conservative. Of course he expects a subservient and cooperative wife. He is most likely having a midlife crisis but may also be getting some of his ideas from conservative media and men’s rights type crap.

I'm a conservative. I don't have, or expect, a subservient wife. I have many conservative guy friends, and none of them has, or expects, a subservient wife.

Of course, you don't know any actual conservatives, you're simply lashing out against the stupid caricature of conservatives that you have been indoctrinated to believe in uncritically.

Move to Loudoun. I know several families like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a conservative in this area, if the school influence is a concern, consider more rural and conservative counties of VA and Maryland. It doesn't help with your vote but they

Your husband might find that the state he wants to move to is getting purpler anyway, because people moving from e.g. California or PNW are still bringing their west coast ideas into, say, Texas.

+1. There are a million ways to deal with this that are less extreme than moving to a far-off red state with no plan.

You could move to a further-out DC suburb/exurb, as PP suggests (even if it's a place that votes blue, you will still get less politics the further out you go from DC).

You could move the kids to a religious/private school more in line with your DH's values.

You could find a compromise purplish location where you both might be happy, like Richmond VA, Asheville NC, Tampa FL, or San Antonio TX.

However, these things are only going to work if you and your husband are willing to compromise. It seems like you might be past that point (no judgment, I couldn't stay with someone drinking the Fox News Kool-Aid either). If so, get thee to a lawyer ASAP and start protecting yourself and your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I don’t think he’s having an affair but I do agree with the midlife crisis idea. Yes, he wants to just up and move without a job there and without knowing anyone. This is all about him wanting to be in a red state rather than navigating his political views where we currently live. Yes, I can afford to maintain our lifestyle without his help, but it sure would be nice to have a partner in the future. I will research the divorce laws. What kind of man would just up and move and expect his wife and kids to follow? And logistically, he would expect me to do all the packing, sell the house, etc.

I'm calling troll.

He is conservative. Of course he expects a subservient and cooperative wife. He is most likely having a midlife crisis but may also be getting some of his ideas from conservative media and men’s rights type crap.

I'm a conservative. I don't have, or expect, a subservient wife. I have many conservative guy friends, and none of them has, or expects, a subservient wife.

Of course, you don't know any actual conservatives, you're simply lashing out against the stupid caricature of conservatives that you have been indoctrinated to believe in uncritically.

Not all conservatives expect a subservient wife, but those who expect subservient wives are all conservatives.

Find me a liberal man who expects a subservient wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I don’t think he’s having an affair but I do agree with the midlife crisis idea. Yes, he wants to just up and move without a job there and without knowing anyone. This is all about him wanting to be in a red state rather than navigating his political views where we currently live. Yes, I can afford to maintain our lifestyle without his help, but it sure would be nice to have a partner in the future. I will research the divorce laws. What kind of man would just up and move and expect his wife and kids to follow? And logistically, he would expect me to do all the packing, sell the house, etc.

I'm calling troll.

He is conservative. Of course he expects a subservient and cooperative wife. He is most likely having a midlife crisis but may also be getting some of his ideas from conservative media and men’s rights type crap.

I'm a conservative. I don't have, or expect, a subservient wife. I have many conservative guy friends, and none of them has, or expects, a subservient wife.

Of course, you don't know any actual conservatives, you're simply lashing out against the stupid caricature of conservatives that you have been indoctrinated to believe in uncritically.

Not all conservatives expect a subservient wife, but those who expect subservient wives are all conservatives.

Find me a liberal man who expects a subservient wife.

There are definitely academic types that treat others like they are beneath them. I could see one of them saying they needed to do this or that because of their importance to the world.