50/50 is terrible for kids! Why does this nonsense persist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kids should get to stay in the primary home, the home they grew up in. I agree with OP that 50/50 sucks for kids. All of you that do it can convince yourself your kids are fine with it, but they’re not. They don’t have options though so they have to go along with it.

In a two income household, that home is getting sold most of the time because either neither parent can afford to buy the other out or neither parent can afford the mortgage and upkeep without the other income

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you think it’s better for a kid to have nothing more than a trivial relationship with one parent?

Better than having trivial lives with no real home.

Why wouldn’t they have 2 real homes?
My parents were divorced when I was a kid and we spent every other weekend with dad. Maybe it would have been the case anyway, but we were never close, he always felt like more like an uncle figure, and I didn’t know my father’s relatives very well. I think keeping the bond with both parents is so important, and 50-50 is probably the easiest way to achieve that. But if you don’t like it, why don’t you give up much of your parenting time so that your kids’ primary residence, their “real home” is with your ex?

Op here. I am not divorced. I see this with selfish parents around me. My kids are grown and grew up with two parents.

Children whose parents are divorced still have two parents.

I have been married for 20 years to the first person I dated seriously and only person I've had sex with. This is a ridiculous comment, what year do you think it is?

[Anonymous]

^ PP clarifying that I mean that parents with 50.50 are selfish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP what is the alternative?

Kids live in the SFH and do not move. Parent move in and out every 2 weeks. Parents can rent a single room condo to live there when they are not living with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP what is the alternative?

Kids live in the SFH and do not move. Parent move in and out every 2 weeks. Parents can rent a single room condo to live there when they are not living with the kids.

Your one size fits-all plan that you think is so wonderful, doesn't fit all families. My own kids have stated that they want to see their parents more often than that, and are thriving on a 2255 schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP what is the alternative?

Kids live in the SFH and do not move. Parent move in and out every 2 weeks. Parents can rent a single room condo to live there when they are not living with the kids.

Your one size fits-all plan that you think is so wonderful, doesn't fit all families. My own kids have stated that they want to see their parents more often than that, and are thriving on a 2255 schedule.

Meh! They are doing alright. These poor bastards have divorced parents. How can they be "thriving"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP what is the alternative?

Kids live in the SFH and do not move. Parent move in and out every 2 weeks. Parents can rent a single room condo to live there when they are not living with the kids.

Your one size fits-all plan that you think is so wonderful, doesn't fit all families. My own kids have stated that they want to see their parents more often than that, and are thriving on a 2255 schedule.

Meh! They are doing alright. These poor bastards have divorced parents. How can they be "thriving"?

You seem to have some unresolved issues that are impacting your adult life. There are many ways to get therapy these days-in person, via zoom, even text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP what is the alternative?

Kids live in the SFH and do not move. Parent move in and out every 2 weeks. Parents can rent a single room condo to live there when they are not living with the kids.

You must be extremely wealthy. Most people cannot afford to rent two condos and a house, plus regular expenses and save for retirement and college. And, in some ways that's not healthy either.

[Anonymous]

OP, I suggest you butt out if you’ve never been divorced.

[Anonymous]

Cost to have two complete homes is crazy high. I suspect few can mange it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you think it’s better for a kid to have nothing more than a trivial relationship with one parent?

Better than having trivial lives with no real home.

Why wouldn’t they have 2 real homes?
My parents were divorced when I was a kid and we spent every other weekend with dad. Maybe it would have been the case anyway, but we were never close, he always felt like more like an uncle figure, and I didn’t know my father’s relatives very well. I think keeping the bond with both parents is so important, and 50-50 is probably the easiest way to achieve that. But if you don’t like it, why don’t you give up much of your parenting time so that your kids’ primary residence, their “real home” is with your ex?

Op here. I am not divorced. I see this with selfish parents around me. My kids are grown and grew up with two parents.

One and a half, really, because you're so crappy that you don't count for a full one.
- Also not divorced

One and a quarter tops

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you think it’s better for a kid to have nothing more than a trivial relationship with one parent?

Better than having trivial lives with no real home.

Why wouldn’t they have 2 real homes?
My parents were divorced when I was a kid and we spent every other weekend with dad. Maybe it would have been the case anyway, but we were never close, he always felt like more like an uncle figure, and I didn’t know my father’s relatives very well. I think keeping the bond with both parents is so important, and 50-50 is probably the easiest way to achieve that. But if you don’t like it, why don’t you give up much of your parenting time so that your kids’ primary residence, their “real home” is with your ex?

Op here. I am not divorced. I see this with selfish parents around me. My kids are grown and grew up with two parents.

Oh so you have no idea WTF you're talking about? I am an adult who's parents were divorced who wishes deeply things like 50/50 were commonplace when I was a child. I got summers and weekends with my sane dad and lived full time with my insane mother and alcoholic stepdad because 'kids need their mothers' and she was very litigious. Don't talk about this if you have never been a part of one of these situations.

[Anonymous]

NP.

Honestly, I think the issue is that there is even a presumption. Every case should be handled separately and by its own merits. There is no solution that works for everyone. 50/50 physical works well for some, and not for others. There's no reason any type of custody arrangement should be assumed.

[Anonymous]

50/50 has been an absolute godsend for a couple of women of my acquaintance who finally have the time to pursue career, meaningful and healthy relationships, and their own health and well being.

Unfortunately the instances where a father fights for 50/50 to lower child support and then constantly flakes should be dealt with more harshly by the courts and penalized per diem in child support payments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50/50 has been an absolute godsend for a couple of women of my acquaintance who finally have the time to pursue career, meaningful and healthy relationships, and their own health and well being.

Unfortunately the instances where a father fights for 50/50 to lower child support and then constantly flakes should be dealt with more harshly by the courts and penalized per diem in child support payments.

Your constant Dad bashing is pathetic. Many moms fight for full custody to get maximum child support and then don't spend it on the kids. It goes both ways. Its pathetic that the courts have zero accountability for child support and keep Dad's out of kids' lives as the other parent often manipulates the kids and situation for their best interests.