50/50 is terrible for kids! Why does this nonsense persist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have hated, absolutely HATED to move between houses in the middle of the week. Thankfully my parents lived 2 hours apart and I would stay with him from Friday to Sunday, and once I got older, every other weekend, plus holiday weekends.

And those days there weren’t cell phoned, FaceTime, texting and such.

I had a VERY close relationship with BOTH my parents.

So, basically your dad missed out on the important things and you are ok with that. You might be but other kids may not be.

[Anonymous]

Child of an 80s divorce that didn't do any shuttling here. I am so happy for kids today that get access to 50/50, my dad wanted it and the courts wouldn't allow it and my childhood was significantly worse off for that decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have hated, absolutely HATED to move between houses in the middle of the week. Thankfully my parents lived 2 hours apart and I would stay with him from Friday to Sunday, and once I got older, every other weekend, plus holiday weekends.

And those days there weren’t cell phoned, FaceTime, texting and such.

I had a VERY close relationship with BOTH my parents.

So, basically your dad missed out on the important things and you are ok with that. You might be but other kids may not be.

What important stuff are you alluding to? Graduations? Science fair and the like?

Anyway, he came when it was important to me. He always came.

As I said, I had a great relationship with both my parents, independently of being shuffled around back and forth in the middle of the week and, later on, every weekend. My father put my happiness and well being first and, when I was older and started to have my own social life, he didn’t demand my presence every weekend.

He had many defects, but I have NEVER doubt his absolute love for me.

Maybe the fact that I was already 11 when they separated and by then I had already formed a strong bond with him helped the situation.

BOTH my parents had MY best interest and we even spent a few holidays together: my mother, me, my father, his new wife and her daughter. My mother was THAT gracious to host all of them, including overnights.

My point is, you don’t need 50/50 to have a good relationship with your child. If you are truly invested, you can make it work with less physical time - as long as you put in the emotional commitment to it.

MOST of the time I spent with my father consisted of discussing/TALKING about my school life, my friends and friends drama, the books I was reading, the books HE was reading, politics (he was indoctrinating me of course, buy still), tutoring me on math problems, etc.

He didn’t just picked me up in the middle of the week, took me home, fed me, watched me doing homework or watch tv, then sent me to bed because it was a school night.

No… the time we had together was actually bonding.

[Anonymous]

We do 60/40. I have the kids Sunday evening through Thursday school drop off and 1 weekend a month. My ex has them Thursday after school to Sunday evening. On my weekend weeks he gets them a couple extra days. It makes it easier for school. He does get to be the more "fun" parent but I was willing to give that up to have more stability during the school week. It's easier as the kids get older, IMO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have hated, absolutely HATED to move between houses in the middle of the week. Thankfully my parents lived 2 hours apart and I would stay with him from Friday to Sunday, and once I got older, every other weekend, plus holiday weekends.

And those days there weren’t cell phoned, FaceTime, texting and such.

I had a VERY close relationship with BOTH my parents.

So, basically your dad missed out on the important things and you are ok with that. You might be but other kids may not be.

What important stuff are you alluding to? Graduations? Science fair and the like?

Anyway, he came when it was important to me. He always came.

As I said, I had a great relationship with both my parents, independently of being shuffled around back and forth in the middle of the week and, later on, every weekend. My father put my happiness and well being first and, when I was older and started to have my own social life, he didn’t demand my presence every weekend.

He had many defects, but I have NEVER doubt his absolute love for me.

Maybe the fact that I was already 11 when they separated and by then I had already formed a strong bond with him helped the situation.

BOTH my parents had MY best interest and we even spent a few holidays together: my mother, me, my father, his new wife and her daughter. My mother was THAT gracious to host all of them, including overnights.

My point is, you don’t need 50/50 to have a good relationship with your child. If you are truly invested, you can make it work with less physical time - as long as you put in the emotional commitment to it.

MOST of the time I spent with my father consisted of discussing/TALKING about my school life, my friends and friends drama, the books I was reading, the books HE was reading, politics (he was indoctrinating me of course, buy still), tutoring me on math problems, etc.

He didn’t just picked me up in the middle of the week, took me home, fed me, watched me doing homework or watch tv, then sent me to bed because it was a school night.

No… the time we had together was actually bonding.

Those daily things you posted about that he didn’t do are far more important than you realize. You dad was more of a favorite uncle than aren’t and your mom was controlling and selfish. Your mom was not gracious to let them visit you in her home. You should have been in their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have hated, absolutely HATED to move between houses in the middle of the week. Thankfully my parents lived 2 hours apart and I would stay with him from Friday to Sunday, and once I got older, every other weekend, plus holiday weekends.

And those days there weren’t cell phoned, FaceTime, texting and such.

I had a VERY close relationship with BOTH my parents.

So, basically your dad missed out on the important things and you are ok with that. You might be but other kids may not be.

What important stuff are you alluding to? Graduations? Science fair and the like?

Anyway, he came when it was important to me. He always came.

As I said, I had a great relationship with both my parents, independently of being shuffled around back and forth in the middle of the week and, later on, every weekend. My father put my happiness and well being first and, when I was older and started to have my own social life, he didn’t demand my presence every weekend.

He had many defects, but I have NEVER doubt his absolute love for me.

Maybe the fact that I was already 11 when they separated and by then I had already formed a strong bond with him helped the situation.

BOTH my parents had MY best interest and we even spent a few holidays together: my mother, me, my father, his new wife and her daughter. My mother was THAT gracious to host all of them, including overnights.

My point is, you don’t need 50/50 to have a good relationship with your child. If you are truly invested, you can make it work with less physical time - as long as you put in the emotional commitment to it.

MOST of the time I spent with my father consisted of discussing/TALKING about my school life, my friends and friends drama, the books I was reading, the books HE was reading, politics (he was indoctrinating me of course, buy still), tutoring me on math problems, etc.

He didn’t just picked me up in the middle of the week, took me home, fed me, watched me doing homework or watch tv, then sent me to bed because it was a school night.

No… the time we had together was actually bonding.

Those daily things you posted about that he didn’t do are far more important than you realize. You dad was more of a favorite uncle than aren’t and your mom was controlling and selfish. Your mom was not gracious to let them visit you in her home. You should have been in their home.

Whoa, project much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have hated, absolutely HATED to move between houses in the middle of the week. Thankfully my parents lived 2 hours apart and I would stay with him from Friday to Sunday, and once I got older, every other weekend, plus holiday weekends.

And those days there weren’t cell phoned, FaceTime, texting and such.

I had a VERY close relationship with BOTH my parents.

Lots of projecting by the "dad's rights" posters here.

So, basically your dad missed out on the important things and you are ok with that. You might be but other kids may not be.

What important stuff are you alluding to? Graduations? Science fair and the like?

Anyway, he came when it was important to me. He always came.

As I said, I had a great relationship with both my parents, independently of being shuffled around back and forth in the middle of the week and, later on, every weekend. My father put my happiness and well being first and, when I was older and started to have my own social life, he didn’t demand my presence every weekend.

He had many defects, but I have NEVER doubt his absolute love for me.

Maybe the fact that I was already 11 when they separated and by then I had already formed a strong bond with him helped the situation.

BOTH my parents had MY best interest and we even spent a few holidays together: my mother, me, my father, his new wife and her daughter. My mother was THAT gracious to host all of them, including overnights.

My point is, you don’t need 50/50 to have a good relationship with your child. If you are truly invested, you can make it work with less physical time - as long as you put in the emotional commitment to it.

MOST of the time I spent with my father consisted of discussing/TALKING about my school life, my friends and friends drama, the books I was reading, the books HE was reading, politics (he was indoctrinating me of course, buy still), tutoring me on math problems, etc.

He didn’t just picked me up in the middle of the week, took me home, fed me, watched me doing homework or watch tv, then sent me to bed because it was a school night.

No… the time we had together was actually bonding.

Those daily things you posted about that he didn’t do are far more important than you realize. You dad was more of a favorite uncle than aren’t and your mom was controlling and selfish. Your mom was not gracious to let them visit you in her home. You should have been in their home.

Whoa, project much?

[Anonymous]

The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Funny, the mothers are only important in kids lives are always quick to spew their garbage disparaging the importance of kids having two parents, not just one and a child support check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Funny, the mothers are only important in kids lives are always quick to spew their garbage disparaging the importance of kids having two parents, not just one and a child support check.

50/50 is presumed in most areas (not all I think, but most). If a dad wants it, he will get it (barring extreme circumstances). CS is not automatic, but based on the parents' incomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Funny, the mothers are only important in kids lives are always quick to spew their garbage disparaging the importance of kids having two parents, not just one and a child support check.

50/50 is presumed in most areas (not all I think, but most). If a dad wants it, he will get it (barring extreme circumstances). CS is not automatic, but based on the parents' incomes.

In some areas not all and often it’s a fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Funny, the mothers are only important in kids lives are always quick to spew their garbage disparaging the importance of kids having two parents, not just one and a child support check.

50/50 is presumed in most areas (not all I think, but most). If a dad wants it, he will get it (barring extreme circumstances). CS is not automatic, but based on the parents' incomes.

In some areas not all and often it’s a fight.

Everyone I know who is divorced has 50/50, except a few cases where the other parent did not want to parent 50% and chose a lesser percentage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Yes, those people just like to fight, that’s why their wives left them in the first place, angry and controlling.

When you can peacefully accept that someone doesn’t want to be with you then it looks like getting a nice bachelor pad, some hobbies and a few gf’s on rotation. Gladly assuming the role of every other weekend + weds. for dinner Disney dad.

When you can’t you go MRA on the world, fight, control, spend that Disney and date money on lawyers, and become so bitter, lonely and angry, that even your kids don’t want to be around you more than they have to be.

Plus they know when you are trying to just make mom suffer. And they resent you for it.

And your dates don’t want to hear about you evil ex either so you never even get to 1st base.

No one likes an angry man.

Get a gf or two, take a singles cruise, buy a bass boat and go fishing, be fun and interesting full of life dad and get on with your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Yes, those people just like to fight, that’s why their wives left them in the first place, angry and controlling.

When you can peacefully accept that someone doesn’t want to be with you then it looks like getting a nice bachelor pad, some hobbies and a few gf’s on rotation. Gladly assuming the role of every other weekend + weds. for dinner Disney dad.

When you can’t you go MRA on the world, fight, control, spend that Disney and date money on lawyers, and become so bitter, lonely and angry, that even your kids don’t want to be around you more than they have to be.

Plus they know when you are trying to just make mom suffer. And they resent you for it.

And your dates don’t want to hear about you evil ex either so you never even get to 1st base.

No one likes an angry man.

Get a gf or two, take a singles cruise, buy a bass boat and go fishing, be fun and interesting full of life dad and get on with your life.

So, a bitter angry ex-wife who withholds her kids from their Dad is ok? What about the ones where Dad was the "primary" parent? Or the situations where MOM cheated? How about the ones where Mom will do anything to justify her behavior and make Dad suffer.

[Anonymous]

I just read about Halle Berry's final custody arrangement with her ex. She'll have the kid M-W, he'll have the kid W-F, and they'll alternate weekends. In what world is this good for the kid? He's never going to remember where he's going "home" to each weekend and will forever be wanting toys or clothes or school work from the other parent's house. 50/50 just sounds awful for kids!