Can I leave only one grand child money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 sons and each son has 2 kids. One grandson has mild autism. He graduated high school, got a job which he quit amd will be starting an apprenticeship.

Should I split my sizeable will 1/3 to each son and 1/3 to this grandson?

Why would you leave the other grandkids out of your will? How unfair. Why this favoritism?

This grandson will need the money. The others can get the money from their paren5ts when they die.

And what makes you think the other grandkids DON'T need the money?

I would hate to be the left out grandkid.

DP. Because the other ones don’t have a developmental disability….

That’s weird so people who don’t have autism don’t need money also?

Cool. Then they can go earn it with their non-disabled brains.

Right because autism is the only obstacle anyone has in life and if your “non disabled” you never have any financial trouble…

Also, lots of people w autism are perfectly capable of being successful in life and you sound kind of prejudiced to assert that they are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 sons and each son has 2 kids. One grandson has mild autism. He graduated high school, got a job which he quit amd will be starting an apprenticeship.

Should I split my sizeable will 1/3 to each son and 1/3 to this grandson?

Why would you leave the other grandkids out of your will? How unfair. Why this favoritism?

This grandson will need the money. The others can get the money from their paren5ts when they die.

And what makes you think the other grandkids DON'T need the money?

I would hate to be the left out grandkid.

DP. Because the other ones don’t have a developmental disability….

That’s weird so people who don’t have autism don’t need money also?

Cool. Then they can go earn it with their non-disabled brains.

Right because autism is the only obstacle anyone has in life and if your “non disabled” you never have any financial trouble…

Also, lots of people w autism are perfectly capable of being successful in life and you sound kind of prejudiced to assert that they are not.

And some, many are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, this is pretty common, IMO.

My best friend in HS received an inheritance from her grandma but her two brothers did not.

I know 100% that my one aunt will leave everything to her granddaughter. My aunt always wanted a daughter but was never able to have anymore kids after having my male cousin. He later married a woman with 4 boys and then they had a baby together, a girl. My aunt was over-the-moon about it and still to this day, she favors the girl over the boys. She's 10 now and the girl is the only grandkid who ever spends weeks with my aunt during the summer. My aunt & uncle took only her to Disney for spring break. They always spin it like "oh the boys are tweens & teens and not interested in spending time with us old people" but it's 100% a favoritism thing.

Isn’t it also likely your aunt favors her biological grandchild over the others, regardless of gender? Not saying it’s right, but it is fairly common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, this is pretty common, IMO.

My best friend in HS received an inheritance from her grandma but her two brothers did not.

I know 100% that my one aunt will leave everything to her granddaughter. My aunt always wanted a daughter but was never able to have anymore kids after having my male cousin. He later married a woman with 4 boys and then they had a baby together, a girl. My aunt was over-the-moon about it and still to this day, she favors the girl over the boys. She's 10 now and the girl is the only grandkid who ever spends weeks with my aunt during the summer. My aunt & uncle took only her to Disney for spring break. They always spin it like "oh the boys are tweens & teens and not interested in spending time with us old people" but it's 100% a favoritism thing.

She’s also their only biological grandchild, Einstein.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was brought up in a European country where people cannot legally disinherit their children.

According to the law of that country, a certain percentage of an estate is to be reserved and shared EQUALLY among the children. I don't know how much the % is in 2022 but I think it used to be around 25%.
It is impossible by law to leave one or more children out of a will (bio children - I have no idea what the law says about stepchildren or adopted children).

Some parents will find ways to favor one child over another before they (the parents) die by paying for expensive home renovations, cars, vacations and other things. None of these examples are considered to be part of an estate (unless parents gifted a huge sum of money) so there may be little money left to share between all the children once the parents die.

I am the PP of the post above. I've just looked it up and I found out that that the law changed in 2018.
From 2018 the law in my country of origin says that AT LEAST 50% of someone's estate must go to the (bio) children, regardless of how many children there are, so at least 50% is to be shared among ALL children.
There are separate rules for stepchildren.

In my country of origin the concept of parents leaving children out of their will is completely alien.

Sounds like the OP’s plan would fit in perfectly with your home country’s rules since they proposed leaving 2/3 of their estate to their children and 1/3 to the SN grandchild.

[Anonymous]

OP I think equal distribution is important. So no I would not leave 1/3 of the estate to one of your 4 grandchildren. It will cause problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 sons and each son has 2 kids. One grandson has mild autism. He graduated high school, got a job which he quit amd will be starting an apprenticeship.

Should I split my sizeable will 1/3 to each son and 1/3 to this grandson?

You can buy it will create hostility with your grandchildren. Why wouldn you leave 1/3 of your sizable assets to someone quit his job and, most likely, will never be gainfully employed. Giving him all this money could make him easy prey for unscrupulous people as well as drug addiction and alcoholism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, this is pretty common, IMO.

My best friend in HS received an inheritance from her grandma but her two brothers did not.

I know 100% that my one aunt will leave everything to her granddaughter. My aunt always wanted a daughter but was never able to have anymore kids after having my male cousin. He later married a woman with 4 boys and then they had a baby together, a girl. My aunt was over-the-moon about it and still to this day, she favors the girl over the boys. She's 10 now and the girl is the only grandkid who ever spends weeks with my aunt during the summer. My aunt & uncle took only her to Disney for spring break. They always spin it like "oh the boys are tweens & teens and not interested in spending time with us old people" but it's 100% a favoritism thing.

She’s also their only biological grandchild, Einstein.

Right. It all depends. I mean will it be fairer to the granddaughter of the Boys with 3 pairs of grandparents get something from all of them and she only gets from 2 pairs? Each situation is different.

[Anonymous]

There are so many entitled children on this thread. Maybe they’ve all bought above their personal means and rely too much on mommy and daddy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many entitled children on this thread. Maybe they’ve all bought above their personal means and rely too much on mommy and daddy?

Any discussion of inheritance on this forum brings them out. It’s nothing but constant screeching about how their parents must leave them all their money and that everything to the penny must be the same. It’s such an odd concept to think that you have a right to how others spend their money.

[Anonymous]

I am hoping my MIL does this. Obviously I have a very biased viewpoint! My son has autism and our HHI is probably about half of my BIL’s. My BIL’s kids for various reasons not having to do with merit will likely be easily admitted to college with scholarships. While I expect my DS to go to college, the choice of college is going to be much more important and our options may be limited and more expensive (eg a smaller SLAC vs a giant state school). And we have BIG therapy bills that don’t look to be decreasing any time soon, and my earning capacity is limited because I need to stay in a very flexible job. Also we have to sell our house to move for school, so there goes our one well-appreciating asset.

On paper it might look unfair if MIL left more to our son, but I’m dearly hoping she at least funds a big chunk of college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am hoping my MIL does this. Obviously I have a very biased viewpoint! My son has autism and our HHI is probably about half of my BIL’s. My BIL’s kids for various reasons not having to do with merit will likely be easily admitted to college with scholarships. While I expect my DS to go to college, the choice of college is going to be much more important and our options may be limited and more expensive (eg a smaller SLAC vs a giant state school). And we have BIG therapy bills that don’t look to be decreasing any time soon, and my earning capacity is limited because I need to stay in a very flexible job. Also we have to sell our house to move for school, so there goes our one well-appreciating asset.

On paper it might look unfair if MIL left more to our son, but I’m dearly hoping she at least funds a big chunk of college.

It would be unfair. Your child is your responsibility to deal with and fund. It's not on MIL to make things equal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, this is pretty common, IMO.

My best friend in HS received an inheritance from her grandma but her two brothers did not.

I know 100% that my one aunt will leave everything to her granddaughter. My aunt always wanted a daughter but was never able to have anymore kids after having my male cousin. He later married a woman with 4 boys and then they had a baby together, a girl. My aunt was over-the-moon about it and still to this day, she favors the girl over the boys. She's 10 now and the girl is the only grandkid who ever spends weeks with my aunt during the summer. My aunt & uncle took only her to Disney for spring break. They always spin it like "oh the boys are tweens & teens and not interested in spending time with us old people" but it's 100% a favoritism thing.

The four boys have extended family from their father. She is not their only paternal grandparent, (or grandparent period). Will the father of those boys be contributing to her college fund? Not likely, but her father is certainly contributing financially to them. Your aunt should fully enjoy her grandchild with no shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am hoping my MIL does this. Obviously I have a very biased viewpoint! My son has autism and our HHI is probably about half of my BIL’s. My BIL’s kids for various reasons not having to do with merit will likely be easily admitted to college with scholarships. While I expect my DS to go to college, the choice of college is going to be much more important and our options may be limited and more expensive (eg a smaller SLAC vs a giant state school). And we have BIG therapy bills that don’t look to be decreasing any time soon, and my earning capacity is limited because I need to stay in a very flexible job. Also we have to sell our house to move for school, so there goes our one well-appreciating asset.

On paper it might look unfair if MIL left more to our son, but I’m dearly hoping she at least funds a big chunk of college.

Fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am hoping my MIL does this. Obviously I have a very biased viewpoint! My son has autism and our HHI is probably about half of my BIL’s. My BIL’s kids for various reasons not having to do with merit will likely be easily admitted to college with scholarships. While I expect my DS to go to college, the choice of college is going to be much more important and our options may be limited and more expensive (eg a smaller SLAC vs a giant state school). And we have BIG therapy bills that don’t look to be decreasing any time soon, and my earning capacity is limited because I need to stay in a very flexible job. Also we have to sell our house to move for school, so there goes our one well-appreciating asset.

On paper it might look unfair if MIL left more to our son, but I’m dearly hoping she at least funds a big chunk of college.

It would be unfair. Your child is your responsibility to deal with and fund. It's not on MIL to make things equal.

But things are unequal now - that’s the point. Obviously I do what I can to save, but the grandchildren are in no ways equal financially or in terms of need. There’s absolutely nothing morally wrong with a grandparent supporting a grandchild with additional needs. In fact most ethical analyses would say the opposite. Back when I was better off financially I would send money to support my grandmother and one sibling, but not anyone else in my family, because they needed it and the others did not.