Can I leave only one grand child money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any post that starts with "can i.." Troll.

No adult asks permissions and so many posts are worded this way that I'm certain this is a troll.

OP here. My other son ( not the dad of my autistic grandson) is not happy with this. In fact he is very upset that this is unfair. I told him how I divide my money is only my business.

Does the other son think it's unfair that his nephew has a lifelong disability? I can't see rewarding that kind of entitlement (and expecting to inherit *any* money is entitled behavior).

My other son thinks the 2 sons should inherit and then provide for their own kids from that. He is also furious his brother has never worked full time.

Wait, so you have 2 sons, one of whom “has never worked full time” (what does this mean? He’s a SAHD? Are/have you been supporting him), and it’s his son you want to leave all your money to? Talk about burying the lede.

His kids are adults. He does a little free lancing here and there. My other son is doing well financially.

Well yeah, your other son is doing well financially BECAUSE HE HAS A JOB AND DOESN'T LIVE OFF DADDY. I agree with the PPs, you must be a troll. Nobody can be this dumb,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP is trolling. Notice how new details keep appearing.[/quote
The working thing is unrelated to the issue. Why would I have put that in the OP?

I think you're correct. If on the off chance OP really exists, she is enjoying the little family drama she is stirring up. Which is even weirder than concocting this story as fiction.

[Anonymous]

.

[Anonymous]

You can do whatever you want, but most people would think you're a real a-hole to do that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think u leave equal amounts to both sons. Then if you want to give the grandkids come give them an equal amount too. Like less than your sons but the same as each other. What happens if one grandson gets in a car accident and ends up in a wheelchair? You going to change your will?

Exactly. Things happen that shake up the balance of what's "fair." My parents left the bulk of their estate to my opioid addicted brother who abused them while they were alive. But in their old world view, their unemployed "son" needed to be provided for. Meanwhile, he got himself a mail order, much younger bride. Their blood grandchildren from his first marriage will inherit nothing. Instead wife #2 is providing for her family on another continent. So my parents "worked" all their lives to support people they never met and had no connection to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think u leave equal amounts to both sons. Then if you want to give the grandkids come give them an equal amount too. Like less than your sons but the same as each other. What happens if one grandson gets in a car accident and ends up in a wheelchair? You going to change your will?

Exactly. Things happen that shake up the balance of what's "fair." My parents left the bulk of their estate to my opioid addicted brother who abused them while they were alive. But in their old world view, their unemployed "son" needed to be provided for. Meanwhile, he got himself a mail order, much younger bride. Their blood grandchildren from his first marriage will inherit nothing. Instead wife #2 is providing for her family on another continent. So my parents "worked" all their lives to support people they never met and had no connection to.

This is what's most likely to happen OP. It's also currently happening in my family. Golddigger was dating and then married a male family member with HFA. After a couple of years, she figured out the parents didn't have as much money as she thought and none of it was coming to their kids, so she divorced him.

You are not doing any favors to your grandchild by singling him out to get money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any post that starts with "can i.." Troll.

No adult asks permissions and so many posts are worded this way that I'm certain this is a troll.

OP here. My other son ( not the dad of my autistic grandson) is not happy with this. In fact he is very upset that this is unfair. I told him how I divide my money is only my business.

Does the other son think it's unfair that his nephew has a lifelong disability? I can't see rewarding that kind of entitlement (and expecting to inherit *any* money is entitled behavior).

My other son thinks the 2 sons should inherit and then provide for their own kids from that. He is also furious his brother has never worked full time.

Of course, he is correct. While you can technically do whatever you want, it's kind of scummy to support the son with the autistic son AND disinherit the son who is making his own living. He's not necessarily "greedy," you just rubbed salt in the wound by telling him your plans. Terrible idea to leave this as your final, irrevocable message after death. Because I enjoy it, I plan to lavish my grandchildren with experiences, help with their education, but the "inherited wealth" will go through my children.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it

[Anonymous]

Worst grand parent ever.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP! You have already done so much damage in these relationships that there’s no coming back. Accept that your kids’ relationships are messed up for life and you’ve created all of it by enabling one child over another. Just spend all your money in life - preferably not on the in-house son who seems to already be getting the benefits of your money.

[Anonymous]

Bad idea

[Anonymous]

My grandfather altered his will giving one son 70% and the other son and daughter each 15%. He had it split evenly, but the son that got 70% did quit his job to take care of him and my grandmother before they died. My mom was also there a lot, and the youngest brother is just an ass overall. The split of money caused a big divide, the youngest son doesn't talk to the other 2 and threatened to not sign off on the will. Fun times.

Don't be a dick.

[Anonymous]

How much are you talking about?

I would do exactly the same as OP. It seems perfectly reasonable.

If there is enough, I would fund enough for college for the other 3 grandchildren.

My kids are still young and I don’t come from money. I would absolutely give more to the kid with more hardship like a SN child.

[Anonymous]

So OP has 2 sons - one lives with him and has autistic son and other son is financially well off and has 2 ADHD sons. I think it seems normal for OP to want to leave more for the son she lives with who cannot support his autistic son.

I have 3 kids. We talked about it recently and we all said that if one kid is struggling while other sibling is doing well financially, kids said we can give more to struggling sibling.

[Anonymous]

OP you can do whatever you want. If it were me, I'd leave money to all my kids and grandkids. The PP's are correct that it does leave hurt feelings and animosity; I've seen this play out with a couple of my friends.