Nanny’s dog can’t stay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP it seems like the problem is you told the nanny they'd have to find a solution to the dog- but maybe in a wishy washy way?- and now, from what you have said yourself, the nanny is doing no work regarding how to either get the dog trained better, sent to a daycare during her working hours (I mean this is the bare minimum solution here) or rehomed. You've stated you yourself have done all the work and she hasn't really done anything. You need to sit her down and have a come to Jesus, and tell her she has X amount of days/weeks to find somewhere else for the dog to live- and remind her that you never agreed to have the dog live in your home, and outline the different ways it is negatively affecting your husband's work and how it dislikes your children and remind her of the time the smoke alarm went off and she ignored it because she was tending to her dog. And tell her that at the end of X days/weeks, the dog WILL be gone from your home, and if that means the nanny is gone with the dog, so be it, but the dog has an end date and you are sticking to it. You need to be firm because it sounds like she is young and taking advantage of the fact that you are a pushover.

Just stop. We are talking about a young college student with no family to fall back on who is working her a$$ her dealing with OP's three kids WITH the stressed out husband IN the house. She's not "taking advantage" of anyone -- she's overwhelmed and you are all heartless.

The nanny is an employee. My employer does not deal with my personal issues for me or act like a surrogate parent. The nanny is an adult and an irresponsible one at that.

You don't live with your employer.

[Anonymous]

She's ridiculous for bringing the dog into your home in the first place. Tell her she has a month to find a new situation for the dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given the fact she left the stove to tend to the dog would’ve been cause for me to fire her immediately. Tell her dog has to go today if not she can go with him and find else where to live. You wouldn’t be wrong especially if it’s explicitly stated no animals/pets are allowed in your lease/contract.

It's not a matter of being right or wrong.

Don't be angry. Be curious. Ask yourself why the nanny was so irresponsible that she triggered the smoke alarm. Yes, it's on her, but as I said before the husband probably has her walking so much on eggshells that her first thought was that she needed to shut that dog up -- and fast -- for his sake.

I'll bet the dog wasn't scratching and peeing and barking non-stop in the boyfriend's house, because he was treated better there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She just brought the dog into your house without asking you? She either needs to find a new permanent home for the dog or board it. I don’t know of many nanny employers who would be okay with having a barking, scratching dog in their home.

She asked us and said it was a very temporary solution
But it’s been a month and she really has no options
She doesn’t want to leave but the dog can’t stay

What about giving her one more month - or three more weeks - to find a solution. Work with a trainer to get the dog to bark less and pee not on the floor, or find the dog a new home. Just realistically, it is going to be hard to find this dog a home. I'm sure your nanny knows that. This has got to be awful for her, as it is for you, too. But maybe she has a friend who will keep the dog - she could even pay a friend to keep the dog. Just, try to work with her so the dog isn't in a shelter. Old pets don't belong in shelters. It's summer, shelters are full. If she is going to euthanize the dog because there is nowhere for him to live, then it would be kinder to have a vet do it and not outsource that to a shelter.

I appreciate your kindness
She’s young and hasn’t done anything to help the situation over the last month
I had to buy the bark collar
This morning as the dog was barking and she was trying to quiet it she walked away from the stove.
The smoke detector went off, we have young kids who need her attention
I was at work but my DH was pissed as he had to jump off a work call to turn off the stove
Then the kids got upset

She’s a student and we all appreciate her so much but she doesn’t seem to be able to think through this
DH wants us to give her until Friday to find a solution
Someone mentioned doggy day care which I didn’t actually know exists!

Have you also heard of dog boarding? People use this when they go on vacation, for example. Maybe you all need a little vacation from this problem!

[Anonymous]

Have nanny make dealing with the dog part of the curriculum. She can help your kids understand that when a creature is old, infirm and annoying, it's time to cut them loose or, preferably, euthanize them. That's particularly important placed in the context of a young person in a new country, all alone with no family or friends or resources that might help find a workable alternative.

You can even schedule Laps of Love to come to your house during a convenient non-nap time so they can all watch and learn. They'll never forget this valuable lesson and what kind of person you and your DH are, and how you wish them to treat others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have nanny make dealing with the dog part of the curriculum. She can help your kids understand that when a creature is old, infirm and annoying, it's time to cut them loose or, preferably, euthanize them. That's particularly important placed in the context of a young person in a new country, all alone with no family or friends or resources that might help find a workable alternative.

You can even schedule Laps of Love to come to your house during a convenient non-nap time so they can all watch and learn. They'll never forget this valuable lesson and what kind of person you and your DH are, and how you wish them to treat others.

And if some of your employees at work sent their elderly dogs to your house without consulting you, and left them there to bark all day, I’m sure thag would be ok with you? A good lesson in compassion for your kids?

Can I drop my dog off today?

[Anonymous]

Bark shock collar and training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have nanny make dealing with the dog part of the curriculum. She can help your kids understand that when a creature is old, infirm and annoying, it's time to cut them loose or, preferably, euthanize them. That's particularly important placed in the context of a young person in a new country, all alone with no family or friends or resources that might help find a workable alternative.

You can even schedule Laps of Love to come to your house during a convenient non-nap time so they can all watch and learn. They'll never forget this valuable lesson and what kind of person you and your DH are, and how you wish them to treat others.

I’m sure if it was OPs and her kids dog, it would be different. But all OP would be teaching her kids is it’s their responsibility to deal with everyone else’s personal problems no matter the cost to their own jobs and their own sanity

[Anonymous]

I feel like certain posters missed the fact that this ain’t OPs dog here . Why is she cruel for wanting to not have someone else’s dog destroy her house and bark at her all day? It sounds like she has been pretty reasonable for quite a while but does she have to allow someone else’s dog to do this to her life for years or else “bad lesson for your kids”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like certain posters missed the fact that this ain’t OPs dog here . Why is she cruel for wanting to not have someone else’s dog destroy her house and bark at her all day? It sounds like she has been pretty reasonable for quite a while but does she have to allow someone else’s dog to do this to her life for years or else “bad lesson for your kids”?

Sigh. People really don't listen. I doubt the dog destroyed the BF's house and barked all day there. It happens here BECAUSE the family isn't handling the dog right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bark shock collar and training.

NO bark/shock collar, especially on a senior dog please!! The extreme stress could make the bathroom accidents in the house even worse, just plain cruel. A trainer could help if you can find one to come in the home for the specific issues.

I'm a dog person, but I have never allowed someone else's dog to disrupt my home like this. I feel for OP. She has a nanny for her children and suddenly has an impossible dog situation. Maybe through social media or a dog rescue you can find a new home for it. Some people will adopt an older dog. Maybe it won't have all the behavior issues in a different environment. Was the dog doing these things in the exboyfriend's home? Or is this from the stress of a different home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like certain posters missed the fact that this ain’t OPs dog here . Why is she cruel for wanting to not have someone else’s dog destroy her house and bark at her all day? It sounds like she has been pretty reasonable for quite a while but does she have to allow someone else’s dog to do this to her life for years or else “bad lesson for your kids”?

Sigh. People really don't listen. I doubt the dog destroyed the BF's house and barked all day there. It happens here BECAUSE the family isn't handling the dog right.

Handling what right?!? The unwilling daily intense care of an elderly, anxious dog who does not belong to them and why they specifically didn’t want in their home? It’s not even their dog, it’s locked up in the nanny’s quarters all day. The NANNY isn’t handling HER DOG right, is the truth, because she is working all day long plus going to school and has no one to care for it during the day. The solution is not to bring jt to work for her boss to manage !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't the dog be around your family?

You know what the options are: Either find a way to make this work - by letting the dog stay, by paying her enough for her to get her own place, by having the dog go to doggy daycare during the day, etc - or your nanny is going to have to choose between working for you and her dog. She will have to find herself a new job and apartment, or find the dog a new home, or bring the dog to the shelter.

I would choose my dog over a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP it seems like the problem is you told the nanny they'd have to find a solution to the dog- but maybe in a wishy washy way?- and now, from what you have said yourself, the nanny is doing no work regarding how to either get the dog trained better, sent to a daycare during her working hours (I mean this is the bare minimum solution here) or rehomed. You've stated you yourself have done all the work and she hasn't really done anything. You need to sit her down and have a come to Jesus, and tell her she has X amount of days/weeks to find somewhere else for the dog to live- and remind her that you never agreed to have the dog live in your home, and outline the different ways it is negatively affecting your husband's work and how it dislikes your children and remind her of the time the smoke alarm went off and she ignored it because she was tending to her dog. And tell her that at the end of X days/weeks, the dog WILL be gone from your home, and if that means the nanny is gone with the dog, so be it, but the dog has an end date and you are sticking to it. You need to be firm because it sounds like she is young and taking advantage of the fact that you are a pushover.

Just stop. We are talking about a young college student with no family to fall back on who is working her a$$ her dealing with OP's three kids WITH the stressed out husband IN the house. She's not "taking advantage" of anyone -- she's overwhelmed and you are all heartless.

The nanny is an employee. My employer does not deal with my personal issues for me or act like a surrogate parent. The nanny is an adult and an irresponsible one at that.

You don't live with your employer.

DP. I do, I'm a live-in nanny. I've worked with rescues in the past, and I know how hard it is to rehome an elderly dog, especially one who barks incessantly, pees on the floor and scratches everything (I do think the last is only because the dog is shut in). I still wouldn't make my problems my employer's problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't the dog be around your family?

You know what the options are: Either find a way to make this work - by letting the dog stay, by paying her enough for her to get her own place, by having the dog go to doggy daycare during the day, etc - or your nanny is going to have to choose between working for you and her dog. She will have to find herself a new job and apartment, or find the dog a new home, or bring the dog to the shelter.

I would choose my dog over a job.

Spoken like somebody who does not live paycheck to paycheck and sends all of her money out of the country to her family each time she gets paid, and is living in her bosses home as part of the jobs benefit package