Nanny’s dog can’t stay

[Anonymous]

It's your house. You've been nice enough to let her have the dog for this long. The dog is not your problem, it is hers. Tell her she has to find an alternative solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Barking habits when a dog feels isolated is bad for their vocal chords and psychological state. When my teen dog started to bark when he was left alone, we got an electronic dog collar that gives a little zap when the dog barks - I tried it on myself first, and it didn't hurt, but make sure you calibrate it at a low setting. It took two barks for him to stop barking. He hasn't barked since when left alone, and is left alone only rarely since one of us is usually always home. He occasional barks when we're here, usually when someone is at the door, or he senses a fox at night, and of course that's all right, we don't mind - it's "normal" barking.

You have more than a barking problem, however. It's cruel to leave a dog all day in one room without interacting with anyone. The dog will not be well-behaved when let out, because he will have pent-up mental and physical energy.

If you can tolerate it and the dog doesn't get into things, it's best that the dog be allowed to roam part of the house where there are people. Right now, you're probably not seeing their good side, because isolation is making them act out.

If you can't take it anymore, then you should discuss rehoming.

Thanks so much for this thoughtful response
We just ordered a bark collar so we’re going to start with that
Her ex worked all day and the dog was always alone, so that’s not a change
She takes a lunch break for an hour each day and takes it out
I think it’s barking so much because it’s old and cranky. I’ve actually never known a dog to bark so much
It’s not used to kids so even when it’s in our family room it’s still barking
Also it’s not trained and has stained several of the carpets so either the collar works and it stays in the room or it has to go

PP you replied to.

OK, I take it back. I thought the dog was young. If the dog is a senior, then the dog will probably not get used to the new way of life, and the change is a GREAT SHOCK. I feel for the dog, OP! Imagine a Grandpa living a quiet routine somewhere and then stuck in a crowded household with shrieky, unpredictable monsters running about ! Your kids are adorable of course, it's just the dog's perspective

If the dog has accidents in the house, that's a huge problem: they need to be taken for a vet check, in case there's a UTI, or something else. The vet will opine as to whether it's behavioral (change of house) or due to age - old dogs become incontinent. If this cannot be treated, the dog can wear a dog diaper in the house (they make disposable and washable ones).
If it's behavioral, because the dog gets confused as to where they're allowed to pee in a larger home, then they need crate-training, if they can tolerate it at their age. Is the dog familiar with a crate? Or a pen? The idea is to get them used to a small "den" area where they understand they're not allowed to pee, then gradually expand that area to include as much of the house as possible. Every time the dog pees inside, it needs to be caught ***in the very act*** and remonstrated with in an angry tone (the words don't matter, the tone does), otherwise dog memory being what it is, it won't associate the scolding with the peeing. Essentially it means that someone needs to follow this dog about all day and wait for it to have an accident just so there can be a teaching moment. Just like for puppies! The carpets need to be thoroughly treated with enzymatic solution so that the pee odor breaks down, and the dog doesn't return there to pee. As you know, dogs have much better sense of smell than we do, and like to pee where they've peed before.

The problem is that it's also cruel to rehome a senior dog, but you may have no choice. If this dog can't get used to the new house, contact a rescue that puts dogs in foster care and explain the situation. Ask that they match the dog to a living situation resembling what it had before. FYI, it takes a loooong time for senior dogs to find their forever homes. I volunteer for Lost Dog and Cat Rescue Foundation in VA, and they do a lot of senior dog fostering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, did Nanny know she was working for anti-dog people? She should go now that she knows.

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting a dog. So many people act like you’re basically evil for not wanting or enjoying the company of pets. I like dogs just fine - from afar. I just don’t want to touch them and certainly don’t want one in my house. In my opinion the nanny is overstepping big time. A month of incessant barking and a dog who can’t be around kids? And it’s the OP who’s in the wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's your house. You've been nice enough to let her have the dog for this long. The dog is not your problem, it is hers. Tell her she has to find an alternative solution.

This is exactly what my DH said
I just can’t deal with finding a new nanny when school is out ugh 😩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doggie daycare

On a nanny’s salary?

It’s around 500 a month. She’s a live in nanny she shouldn’t have many expenses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doggie daycare

On a nanny’s salary?

It’s around 500 a month. She’s a live in nanny she shouldn’t have many expenses

If she needs to find a place to live it will cost a lot more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's your house. You've been nice enough to let her have the dog for this long. The dog is not your problem, it is hers. Tell her she has to find an alternative solution.

This is exactly what my DH said
I just can’t deal with finding a new nanny when school is out ugh 😩

Well understand that might be where you're headed if she picks her dog over you - if she's in the position of having to make that choice.

Would you pay for dog daycare? Would that at least be a temp solution?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's your house. You've been nice enough to let her have the dog for this long. The dog is not your problem, it is hers. Tell her she has to find an alternative solution.

This is exactly what my DH said
I just can’t deal with finding a new nanny when school is out ugh 😩

Well understand that might be where you're headed if she picks her dog over you - if she's in the position of having to make that choice.

Would you pay for dog daycare? Would that at least be a temp solution?

No that’s not in our budget or in our agreement with her
We are a hard working family with three young kids
She gets to live walking distance from her college in exchange for room and board
We pay her well but she’s young and while it’s not my business I would note that she’s not savvy with her money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Barking habits when a dog feels isolated is bad for their vocal chords and psychological state. When my teen dog started to bark when he was left alone, we got an electronic dog collar that gives a little zap when the dog barks - I tried it on myself first, and it didn't hurt, but make sure you calibrate it at a low setting. It took two barks for him to stop barking. He hasn't barked since when left alone, and is left alone only rarely since one of us is usually always home. He occasional barks when we're here, usually when someone is at the door, or he senses a fox at night, and of course that's all right, we don't mind - it's "normal" barking.

You have more than a barking problem, however. It's cruel to leave a dog all day in one room without interacting with anyone. The dog will not be well-behaved when let out, because he will have pent-up mental and physical energy.

If you can tolerate it and the dog doesn't get into things, it's best that the dog be allowed to roam part of the house where there are people. Right now, you're probably not seeing their good side, because isolation is making them act out.

If you can't take it anymore, then you should discuss rehoming.

Thanks so much for this thoughtful response
We just ordered a bark collar so we’re going to start with that
Her ex worked all day and the dog was always alone, so that’s not a change
She takes a lunch break for an hour each day and takes it out
I think it’s barking so much because it’s old and cranky. I’ve actually never known a dog to bark so much
It’s not used to kids so even when it’s in our family room it’s still barking
Also it’s not trained and has stained several of the carpets so either the collar works and it stays in the room or it has to go

PP you replied to.

OK, I take it back. I thought the dog was young. If the dog is a senior, then the dog will probably not get used to the new way of life, and the change is a GREAT SHOCK. I feel for the dog, OP! Imagine a Grandpa living a quiet routine somewhere and then stuck in a crowded household with shrieky, unpredictable monsters running about ! Your kids are adorable of course, it's just the dog's perspective

If the dog has accidents in the house, that's a huge problem: they need to be taken for a vet check, in case there's a UTI, or something else. The vet will opine as to whether it's behavioral (change of house) or due to age - old dogs become incontinent. If this cannot be treated, the dog can wear a dog diaper in the house (they make disposable and washable ones).
If it's behavioral, because the dog gets confused as to where they're allowed to pee in a larger home, then they need crate-training, if they can tolerate it at their age. Is the dog familiar with a crate? Or a pen? The idea is to get them used to a small "den" area where they understand they're not allowed to pee, then gradually expand that area to include as much of the house as possible. Every time the dog pees inside, it needs to be caught ***in the very act*** and remonstrated with in an angry tone (the words don't matter, the tone does), otherwise dog memory being what it is, it won't associate the scolding with the peeing. Essentially it means that someone needs to follow this dog about all day and wait for it to have an accident just so there can be a teaching moment. Just like for puppies! The carpets need to be thoroughly treated with enzymatic solution so that the pee odor breaks down, and the dog doesn't return there to pee. As you know, dogs have much better sense of smell than we do, and like to pee where they've peed before.

The problem is that it's also cruel to rehome a senior dog, but you may have no choice. If this dog can't get used to the new house, contact a rescue that puts dogs in foster care and explain the situation. Ask that they match the dog to a living situation resembling what it had before. FYI, it takes a loooong time for senior dogs to find their forever homes. I volunteer for Lost Dog and Cat Rescue Foundation in VA, and they do a lot of senior dog fostering.

Thank you
I have three young kids, a full time job and a nanny who’s like another child
This is not my dog but it is basically feral
I love dogs and have had one for much of my life but this one should be on a farm or something

[Anonymous]

$500 is very low pay, even considering that you are giving her room and board.
Is she legally able to work in the US, or is she here on a student visa?

[Anonymous]

How about you offer to pay for the dog to go to a boarding training school, they have some in Va beach that I know about but also maybe local. For like two or three weeks chances are the dog would come back trained and easy to tolerate. It's probably a few K but would be a nice solution if you can afford it and it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$500 is very low pay, even considering that you are giving her room and board.
Is she legally able to work in the US, or is she here on a student visa?

I agree! $500 a month? How many hours does she work? You are taking advantage of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$500 is very low pay, even considering that you are giving her room and board.
Is she legally able to work in the US, or is she here on a student visa?

Someone said doggie daycare is $500/month
Not the nanny’s salary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about you offer to pay for the dog to go to a boarding training school, they have some in Va beach that I know about but also maybe local. For like two or three weeks chances are the dog would come back trained and easy to tolerate. It's probably a few K but would be a nice solution if you can afford it and it works.

No way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]She needs to re-home the dog.[/b] Part of her employment is housing, but she knew the dog was not welcome when she accepted the job or got the dog. This is why it wasn’t living with her before. It sounds like you tried to make it work, but it’s disruptive to your husband’s job - the job that pays her salary.

It sounds like it is distracting her from her duties during the work day.

OR Nanny could quit. This isn't slavery so you forgot the most obvious choice!