how do you feel when other kids getting in to better schools?

[Anonymous]

It was hard on my kid, so that is why it was hard on me. We just tried to explain it as the other kid is not better, just he had something that made him stand out differently. One child in particular was all around a lower candidate in our eyes, but he had a semi celebrity mom and so we tried to explain to our son that although we didn't know what the admissions board saw it could be something like they thought his parents brought more to the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imbalanced admissions results are a bad look for colleges.

The colleges are the ones picking who they want. It's balanced for them. What you deem as "imbalanced" doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think my neighbor lied about ethnicity.

Report her anonymously. Colleges welcome such information. They can be thrown out for lying on their application. Colleges rather find out now, than wait until that student commits worse - which they will.

Gross. Not only will a college dismiss this type of slandar out of hand, you will, if discovered, risk YOUR child's admissions if your HS discovers this abhorrent behavior. Assuming your neighbor lied about ethnicity makes you sound like a nut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am realistic. One kid we know, who was very similar to mine except from a rich family and elite private, got into a more highly ranked school. I Know it was in part due to their full pay status. Still, I only wanted each of our kids to be happy. Mine, as it turns out, adjusted better than the other kid...which made me sad for her family (not secretly happy or anything).

These are adolescents, older children in effect. How could you wish them anything but success?

I sense schadenfreude here, and often, on DCUM.

Maybe the kid is more qualified, or maybe that kid fit the "slot" (that the school wanted/needed) better than you kid, and that is okay.

Full pay is something - EXCEPT if the kid does not have the grades or the fit, then full pay is nothing.

Except the poster literally said she felt bad for the other family…so there is no reason to infer that she was secretly happy about their misfortune.

Perhaps you are projecting, or using the word incorrectly?

Not projecting - except that I know how some parents talk about the successful kids, and rarely are those parents accurate.

This kid has had serious mental health issues in college. I have known her since she was born. There is zero joy in watching her decline.

Success is really not all about USNWR rankings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am realistic. One kid we know, who was very similar to mine except from a rich family and elite private, got into a more highly ranked school. I Know it was in part due to their full pay status. Still, I only wanted each of our kids to be happy. Mine, as it turns out, adjusted better than the other kid...which made me sad for her family (not secretly happy or anything).

These are adolescents, older children in effect. How could you wish them anything but success?

I sense schadenfreude here, and often, on DCUM.

Maybe the kid is more qualified, or maybe that kid fit the "slot" (that the school wanted/needed) better than you kid, and that is okay.

Full pay is something - EXCEPT if the kid does not have the grades or the fit, then full pay is nothing.

Except the poster literally said she felt bad for the other family…so there is no reason to infer that she was secretly happy about their misfortune.

Perhaps you are projecting, or using the word incorrectly?

Not projecting - except that I know how some parents talk about the successful kids, and rarely are those parents accurate.

This kid has had serious mental health issues in college. I have known her since she was born. There is zero joy in watching her decline.

Success is really not all about USNWR rankings.

Not saying there is joy in watching anyone decline (this is where you are projecting, and I am sorry).

Saying that there are many parents outside the circle who make inaccurate assumptions about the smart kids.

[Anonymous]

Just here to say my child applied to 12 schools last year. Went to her "11th" choice. Total misery this time last spring. Now says it's the best thing that ever happened to her. She has a 4.0 and could have transferred out, but had no interest in doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just here to say my child applied to 12 schools last year. Went to her "11th" choice. Total misery this time last spring. Now says it's the best thing that ever happened to her. She has a 4.0 and could have transferred out, but had no interest in doing so.

So glad that your child learned a valuable life lesson and made the best of her opportunity.

Her story must be very encouraging to others on this site who are worried right now.

[Anonymous]

Getting admitted into a 'better' school doesn't necessarily mean that they will do better in life. I know plenty of overeducated people (from great schools) who have mediocre careers, messy personal lives and also people who have little or no college and are very successful. Getting into a school means little in the overall picture.

[Anonymous]

When I was in college, I met two girls from the same high school - let's call them Lisa and Mary. Lisa ended up at my 7 sisters school while Mary went to a lesser ranked school nearby. Both of them had applied to the 7 sisters school.
Lisa, who went to school with me, cheated her way thru school or barely did any work. After graduation she got a rather low level job and stayed in it until termination due to covid - let's say it was a 3 decade career that went nowhere in the publishing industry,
Mary had more moxie and ended up with a highly mobile and well ranked job at well known publications.
Unbelievably, they were best friends and Mary helped get Lisa her job.

In college, when Lisa's came up for graduation, it was obvious to them that Lisa was having a friend write her thesis the night before graduation - the chair of Lisa's department had told her she wasn't going to walk unless she received that mandatory thesis (which we all knew was required WAY before graduation). Her parents basically paid for the degree, their daughter learned nothing in her 4 years. But her parents didn't care, they wanted to see her walk on graduation day.
Curiously, they sent Lisa's little brother to finish his high school years at a fancy prep school to prepare him for a career in law. There were higher expectations placed on the boy than the eldest daughter.

Sooooo, my point is that if the kid is instilled with character, grit, determination, that's more than any 4 year college and a hundred thousand dollar sheet of paper could buy.
A few years out of school, the name of the alma mater doesn't apply. It's what one has done since college that will be scrutinized on the resume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think my neighbor lied about ethnicity.

Report her anonymously. Colleges welcome such information. They can be thrown out for lying on their application. Colleges rather find out now, than wait until that student commits worse - which they will.

What are you going to say - “I know for a fact that her grandmother did not come from Cuba.” I doubt you actually know that. Sure, it’s silly that these unprovable categories matter, but they do so you have to just accept it.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if people on this site have any friends outside the affluent DMV area? Because none of my friends from outside this area sent their kids to T30 schools. I don't even know if any went to T50 schools. Bright kids. Hardworking. All doing well in life. One heading off from his non-flagship state school to a PhD program in astrophysics. Another working his dream job in a fascinating industry after getting a degree from a state school that is barely in the top 300 of national universities.

Just to put things in perspective. We really live in a bubble here. It's great if you can go to an elite school. But it's not the end of the world if you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imbalanced admissions results are a bad look for colleges.

The colleges are the ones picking who they want. It's balanced for them. What you deem as "imbalanced" doesn't matter.

Not if they’re taking fed $$$

[Anonymous]

Cheated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think my neighbor lied about ethnicity.

🤣 what? Are you gonna send her dna to 23andme too? I’d hate to be your neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imbalanced admissions results are a bad look for colleges.

The colleges are the ones picking who they want. It's balanced for them. What you deem as "imbalanced" doesn't matter.

Not if they’re taking fed $$$

Not you again. No, you are wrong, that makes no difference.