Does it upset you how much money people spend on weddings?

[Anonymous]

why would I care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not at all. They are giving people jobs/supporting businesses.

I agree! And, it's not my business one way or another.

[Anonymous]

Nah. It doesn’t bother me. It’s their money. I hate wedding where everything is planned out to be an Instagram moment, but that’s just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, think instead of the people on the receiving end of that money -- the bartender, the dressmaker, waiters, the photographers and their team, the florist and flower growers, etc. -- they use that money to put food on the table, pay their rent, etc. It isn't being thrown in the ocean, it's being thrown into the economy and employing real people.

Would you rather they hordethe money in a foundation where they donate a piddly 5% of it per year?

hoard used like this- horde is for the masses of people you will invite to the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Yes, cousin spent $100,000 on wedding a few years ago and is forever complaining she and her husband cannot afford to buy a house. They with their children are living in a small guest house on her parent's property.

[Anonymous]

No. It is a personal choice.

In my community, weddings usually cost more than usual American weddings, so, I have already budgeted for that for both of my kids.

[Anonymous]

I am only bothered when there is too little bang for the buck; trying to do too much with too little and doing nothing well. I agree with previous posters about waste in extraneous napkins, favors and other ephemera. Most brides and are lovely, whether dress is $500 or $5K. I have never waxed rhapsodic over a wedding’s flowers or ice sculptures. Spend the money on really good food and music. It is okay to just serve beer and wine. Anything done with abundance and a warmth of spirit is better than pinched formality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are Indian-Americans and multi-day, multi-event lavish weddings is the norm unfortunately. Yet, the many multi-day "events" in actuality were just domestic rituals and traditions that typically happened at home and without any guests invited and it certainly did not cost too much money. Mostly a nice meal was served but not a formal environment. They were usually an intimate gathering of friends and family and a part of the preparation for the actual wedding. These domestic gatherings (relatives singing, everyone putting on henna, friends making sweets) they all have been taken out from the realm of the home, and now been put in the hands of event planners and in hotel settings. Frankly, a lot of unique regional variations of Indian weddings are lost and how weddings take place is very much influenced by Bollywood and Indian small screen. Social media has also played a part in making these rituals so lavish. There is a huge difference between an average wedding that happened 10-15 years ago and today.

Median cost of Indian weddings in US is 150K. MC or even UMC families can go as low as 75K, as high as 500K.

That's terrifying. My wedding (mid-2000s) was in this area (DMV) and it cost around $45,000 for 250 people. It was pretty small for an indian wedding, because we did just a wedding and reception, and kept pre-wedding events at home (30-40 people) or a restaurant for the night before (100 people who were close). I distinctly remember feeling pressured to make our wedding more upscale though and having to fight to keep it on the simple side.

Why should it be terrifying to you ? You chose to have the wedding you wanted, right? Most of our friends are also going the route of having mehndi, sangeet at home and doing a one day event - wedding/reception at a hotel. Frankly, people do not give a fig if someone goes and gets married in the court. Why should they? Not their monkey, not their circus. Yes, if you invite guests, they expect that the food and music will be very good.

Culturally, getting children married is considered the duty of parents, as is paying for their education. This is the reason, that even the parents of modest means will save all their lives for their kids college and their kids marriage. Wedding is a joyous expense, just like college is a joyous expense.

[Anonymous]

No, because I mind my business. You should too.