Does it upset you how much money people spend on weddings?

[Anonymous]

The cost of my wedding was the national average for a wedding at the time, so it was neither cheap nor extravagant. I have no regrets. There are usually only three events in life that bring together all of your friends and family with all of your spouse’s friends and family: your wedding, your funeral, and your spouse’s funeral. You’re only going to enjoy one of those. Your wedding is the biggest, best, happiest party of your life. It’s okay to put whatever money you can afford into that.

I have numerous good friends who had cheaper weddings, but spend a lot more money throughout their lives on parties/entertaining, and that’s a fine choice as well. I don’t spend money on many other types of entertaining; my kids didn’t have baptisms, we never had a housewarming party, husband and I didn’t throw birthday parties for each other, we don’t host huge barbecues, we don’t have Super Bowl parties, our kids won’t have bar/bat mitzvahs or quinceañeras, etc. Some people host large casual gatherings throughout the year, every year.

In other words, different people prioritize different things, and that’s okay.

[Anonymous]

I could care less how much money they spend. My only concern is the food and dj at the reception. That's where you'll be heavily judged by me.

[Anonymous]

None of my business. People have different priorities.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. They are giving people jobs/supporting businesses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Generally the more expensive weddings are more fun….

. This is saddest dumbest statement I’ve seen on here in a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP- I 'literally' don't think about how much other people spend on their own weddings...

I'm currently help plan DD's wedding. We are probably spending less than most folks here on it, yet we (including DD and df) are happy and comfortable with what our particular family is spending. If another family is comfortable spending a zillion dollars and the wedding lasting a week-ok, have fun! Why would I be upset? And why would I spend any time concerned about it?

Curious -- what do you think you'll be spending, all-in?

About 8k. It's going to be outside, at a beautiful piece of property that her df's cousin owns, with an old barn as a backdrop. So not paying for a venue saves us a ton. She chose a food truck for catering, there will be beer, wine, and a 'signature cocktail' that she came up with. Probably 85-100 people. We've been crafting center pieces and things like that-she has a flair for that kind of stuff. So it's pretty casual, I guess one step up from casual. They're young, and chose all this-I just pay stuff LOL.

[Anonymous]

I don’t care, but I personally prefer the ones that are smaller and centered on gathering friends and family over the really lavish ones that look like money was poured on the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are Indian-Americans and multi-day, multi-event lavish weddings is the norm unfortunately. Yet, the many multi-day "events" in actuality were just domestic rituals and traditions that typically happened at home and without any guests invited and it certainly did not cost too much money. Mostly a nice meal was served but not a formal environment. They were usually an intimate gathering of friends and family and a part of the preparation for the actual wedding. These domestic gatherings (relatives singing, everyone putting on henna, friends making sweets) they all have been taken out from the realm of the home, and now been put in the hands of event planners and in hotel settings. Frankly, a lot of unique regional variations of Indian weddings are lost and how weddings take place is very much influenced by Bollywood and Indian small screen. Social media has also played a part in making these rituals so lavish. There is a huge difference between an average wedding that happened 10-15 years ago and today.

Median cost of Indian weddings in US is 150K. MC or even UMC families can go as low as 75K, as high as 500K.

That's terrifying. My wedding (mid-2000s) was in this area (DMV) and it cost around $45,000 for 250 people. It was pretty small for an indian wedding, because we did just a wedding and reception, and kept pre-wedding events at home (30-40 people) or a restaurant for the night before (100 people who were close). I distinctly remember feeling pressured to make our wedding more upscale though and having to fight to keep it on the simple side.

[Anonymous]

If it ain’t my wedding, I don’t really care. Let them do what they want.

[Anonymous]

I’m envious they have that much to splurge with. In anything.

[Anonymous]

It only upsets me if they owe me money that they haven't yet paid back.

[Anonymous]

It's called jealousy, OP. I worked hard and got married in my 30s and self funded my wedding. I already owned a home when I got married. Let people spend their own money the way they want.

[Anonymous]

No it doesn’t bother me. I couldn’t tell you how many big and expensive weddings I’ve been to, only to hear a few years later the couple divorced. Oh well…

[Anonymous]

Big expensive weddings suck. They’re usually done in the summer when it’s super hot, and you have to wait for ever for pictures, photographer, etc etc. just a waste of time. I don’t get the appeal.

I hate being at 5 hour long weddings. But if they spend their money on that stuff, that’s on them.

[Anonymous]

Planning a wedding right now for my DD and my budget is $30,000 which is the average for the DC area. Even with this budget, we have to skimp on some things to keep under budget. I guess it sounds like a lot of money, but they have no school loans, make a lot of money for their ages, and most importantly, $30k is a drop in the bucket in our HHI level. We are generally big savers (1/3 of our income) and don’t have expensive tastes, so this is one celebration that is important to us and gets our loved ones and friends together after 2 years of Covid isolation.

Why would it upset me if someone spent more (or less) than me? I trust that they know their own finances and how much they value milestone celebrations.