Growing share of childless adults in U.S. don’t expect to ever have children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not surprising given that most people who never wanted kids use the environment and climate as their reason. I mean, it sounds better than saying they don’t want kids because they don’t like them or don’t want to take on the responsibility. It sounds altruistic when you blame global warming while patting yourself on the back for shrinking your carbon/waste footprint.

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting kids btw.

Both can be true. It’s not a false dichotomy like how you’re painting it original PP.

[Anonymous]

Who knew that not providing low cost health care, education and child care would led to intelligent people not having children? /s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is because women and men are more lazy. I say that as my mother in law and father in law both with HS degrees had there kids.

My father in law after first took a part time job 20 hours a week after his full time job, they both a single failing house with two “boarders” in house in upstairs of cape. They rented rooms. They never went out to eat and mom went back to work when youngest turned 12.

Today most men would not get a second job, take in a boarder or skip luxuries a few years so wife could stay home and have three kids. They just whine and watch Netflix and play fortnight whine they hire gardeners, gutter cleaners. and handymen to do their work whine their wife struggles to work full time and raise kids. No wonder women are pushing back.

This is very true. American men are absurdly lazy. I’m an immigrant woman who married an American man and this laggard is bringing down the family. He combines very high living standards with very poor work ethic. I was working in very lucrative job when we married and so was he. Two special needs kids later, we are in a diminished financial position. I am the one who suffered complications giving birth to them and who does most of the childcare, yet I am undaunted. I stick to a budget and I have a side gig that is bringing in $2000-3000 extra per month. It never occurred to me to give up.

In contrast, my husband’s expenses have gone up as he has added a therapist to coach him through the depression that no longer having it easy has apparently caused him. He insist that he went to school for only one thing, so he can’t learn new skills or even help grow my side gig. He works only 9-5 and mismanages his time so that his ranking in his sales job has steadily fallen. Soon, he will be unemployed and he has another thing coming if he thinks he’s going to live off me.

All of the men in my family are absolutely scandalized by how useless he is. All of the Americans in our friend group, however, applaud him merely for holding down a job despite his “depression.” People here just have very low standards for themselves. The concept of rising to the occasion just doesn’t exist in this culture—at least not among middle class whites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not surprising given that most people who never wanted kids use the environment and climate as their reason. I mean, it sounds better than saying they don’t want kids because they don’t like them or don’t want to take on the responsibility. It sounds altruistic when you blame global warming while patting yourself on the back for shrinking your carbon/waste footprint.

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting kids btw.

Both can be true. It’s not a false dichotomy like how you’re painting it original PP.

Disagree.

Anyone who truly wants children doesn’t opt to forego kids for their one man attempt to save the environment. It’s an excuse for people who never wanted kids to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not surprising given that most people who never wanted kids use the environment and climate as their reason. I mean, it sounds better than saying they don’t want kids because they don’t like them or don’t want to take on the responsibility. It sounds altruistic when you blame global warming while patting yourself on the back for shrinking your carbon/waste footprint.

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting kids btw.

Both can be true. It’s not a false dichotomy like how you’re painting it original PP.

Disagree.

Anyone who truly wants children doesn’t opt to forego kids for their one man attempt to save the environment. It’s an excuse for people who never wanted kids to begin with.

Why does it need to be an excuse? Maybe people just don't want kids. There's nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is because women and men are more lazy. I say that as my mother in law and father in law both with HS degrees had there kids.

My father in law after first took a part time job 20 hours a week after his full time job, they both a single failing house with two “boarders” in house in upstairs of cape. They rented rooms. They never went out to eat and mom went back to work when youngest turned 12.

Today most men would not get a second job, take in a boarder or skip luxuries a few years so wife could stay home and have three kids. They just whine and watch Netflix and play fortnight whine they hire gardeners, gutter cleaners. and handymen to do their work whine their wife struggles to work full time and raise kids. No wonder women are pushing back.

This is very true. American men are absurdly lazy. I’m an immigrant woman who married an American man and this laggard is bringing down the family. He combines very high living standards with very poor work ethic. I was working in very lucrative job when we married and so was he. Two special needs kids later, we are in a diminished financial position. I am the one who suffered complications giving birth to them and who does most of the childcare, yet I am undaunted. I stick to a budget and I have a side gig that is bringing in $2000-3000 extra per month. It never occurred to me to give up.

In contrast, my husband’s expenses have gone up as he has added a therapist to coach him through the depression that no longer having it easy has apparently caused him. He insist that he went to school for only one thing, so he can’t learn new skills or even help grow my side gig. He works only 9-5 and mismanages his time so that his ranking in his sales job has steadily fallen. Soon, he will be unemployed and he has another thing coming if he thinks he’s going to live off me.

All of the men in my family are absolutely scandalized by how useless he is. All of the Americans in our friend group, however, applaud him merely for holding down a job despite his “depression.” People here just have very low standards for themselves. The concept of rising to the occasion just doesn’t exist in this culture—at least not among middle class whites.

Depression is an illness that can be debilitating. How dare you put it in sarcastic quotes. I struggle with it daily. Your attitude doesn't help him at all-- I don't even think you want to help him. You should divorce him if you don't have any respect for him. He would be better off without a wife like you who only values money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not surprising given that most people who never wanted kids use the environment and climate as their reason. I mean, it sounds better than saying they don’t want kids because they don’t like them or don’t want to take on the responsibility. It sounds altruistic when you blame global warming while patting yourself on the back for shrinking your carbon/waste footprint.

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting kids btw.

Both can be true. It’s not a false dichotomy like how you’re painting it original PP.

Disagree.

Anyone who truly wants children doesn’t opt to forego kids for their one man attempt to save the environment. It’s an excuse for people who never wanted kids to begin with.

Why does it need to be an excuse? Maybe people just don't want kids. There's nothing wrong with that.

Correct.

And FTR, that’s what I said earlier: there’s nothing wrong with not wanting kids.

But I simply do not believe anyone who desperately wants kids—or even just wants a kid to a normal degree—would ever give that up to avoid exacerbating global warming. That’s not true. Anyone who responds to a survey like that is just reaching for an excuse that makes them look good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet my OB practice is busier than ever… can’t even get regular appointments with my regular doctor.

Are you purposefully being dumb? https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/labor-pains-ob-gyn-shortage "Half of U.S. counties lack a single OB-GYN..."By 2020, there will be up to 8,000 fewer OB-GYNs than needed, according to ACOG, and the number may rise to 22,000 by mid-century."

There is more than you and your OB at play here JFC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet my OB practice is busier than ever… can’t even get regular appointments with my regular doctor.

Are you purposefully being dumb? https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/labor-pains-ob-gyn-shortage "Half of U.S. counties lack a single OB-GYN..."By 2020, there will be up to 8,000 fewer OB-GYNs than needed, according to ACOG, and the number may rise to 22,000 by mid-century."

There is more than you and your OB at play here JFC.

This is actually interesting. Rural areas have always lacked the requisite number of medical professionals needed per population stats. But I wonder if less people are going into the medical professional overall, its a lot of hard work - becoming a certified OB/GYN is a minimum of 10 years with college/med school/residency/specialization, and that is also contributing to a lack of availability for specialty fields.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is going to buy all this real estate that is the main investment for most families? Declining population is not helpful to a healthy real estate market.

Prices will plummet due to less demand, especially the McMansion homes. Then lower SES people will be able to afford them. They have lots of kids and are multigenerational.

Childfree people also like to live in houses. They have pets and like to entertain. I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for prices to plummet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having kids broke us financially with daycare. I would have had a 3rd but we just can't afford it. We barely can afford the two we have. We have family help for daycare but pre-covid were a financial mess. I had to get a job in a better paying sector and my DH and I basically buy only necessities. Meanwhile, my friends without kids live in beautiful houses, went pre-covid on amazing vacations, and buy whatever they need. With the world burning, the pandemic, and vigilantes shooting people in the street and getting off---I am really worried and somewhat regret having children. I think we see going to end up with a defacto one child policy with any woman who dares to have children and work being severely punished financially for the decision. I am preparing so my kids can immigrate if need be.

So is that what life is about? Beautiful houses and amazing vacations? What about all of the non-tangibles and soul-fulfilling reasons for having children. I have 3 and we were also very strapped financially during the daycare years. I don’t have the same type of lifestyle as my friends without kids, but they give me so much to live for. I couldn’t care less about having a better house than my friends and neighbors.

It’s one thing to simply not want children but it’s another to regret having them because you envy someone else’s vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is because women and men are more lazy. I say that as my mother in law and father in law both with HS degrees had there kids.

My father in law after first took a part time job 20 hours a week after his full time job, they both a single failing house with two “boarders” in house in upstairs of cape. They rented rooms. They never went out to eat and mom went back to work when youngest turned 12.

Today most men would not get a second job, take in a boarder or skip luxuries a few years so wife could stay home and have three kids. They just whine and watch Netflix and play fortnight whine they hire gardeners, gutter cleaners. and handymen to do their work whine their wife struggles to work full time and raise kids. No wonder women are pushing back.

This is very true. American men are absurdly lazy. I’m an immigrant woman who married an American man and this laggard is bringing down the family. He combines very high living standards with very poor work ethic. I was working in very lucrative job when we married and so was he. Two special needs kids later, we are in a diminished financial position. I am the one who suffered complications giving birth to them and who does most of the childcare, yet I am undaunted. I stick to a budget and I have a side gig that is bringing in $2000-3000 extra per month. It never occurred to me to give up.

In contrast, my husband’s expenses have gone up as he has added a therapist to coach him through the depression that no longer having it easy has apparently caused him. He insist that he went to school for only one thing, so he can’t learn new skills or even help grow my side gig. He works only 9-5 and mismanages his time so that his ranking in his sales job has steadily fallen. Soon, he will be unemployed and he has another thing coming if he thinks he’s going to live off me.

All of the men in my family are absolutely scandalized by how useless he is. All of the Americans in our friend group, however, applaud him merely for holding down a job despite his “depression.” People here just have very low standards for themselves. The concept of rising to the occasion just doesn’t exist in this culture—at least not among middle class whites.

Depression is an illness that can be debilitating. How dare you put it in sarcastic quotes. I struggle with it daily. Your attitude doesn't help him at all-- I don't even think you want to help him. You should divorce him if you don't have any respect for him. He would be better off without a wife like you who only values money.

NP. I've struggled with depression since I was a very young teen, so over 20 years. I've also dated depressed men. Slacking off on basic life responsibilities because omg, depression, makes the depression far, far worse. For sure, treatment is need, but feeding into it by being lazy and moping around just makes your spiral further downward.

[Anonymous]

I desperately wanted children. I wanted children so badly that I tried to conceive while single. I spent about five years and a hundred grand trying. I used IVF, a surrogate, all of it.
It didn't work out and there will always be regrets.
But my goodness, from what I read and hear and observe of parents, things are rough. Six year olds in constant crisis over their gender, eleven year olds in polyamarous relationships, bankrupting and marriage destroying special health concerns, not to mention school violence, drugs, extreme wealth inequality, the environment... Parenting seems so much more difficult than it was twenty years ago, and everything is more expensive.
I have a wonderful pet who will probably die before the world goes completely down the drain, and I'm cool to check out any time after she does. My life didn't turn out the way I had hoped, but I must say that it's a peaceful one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet my OB practice is busier than ever… can’t even get regular appointments with my regular doctor.

Are you purposefully being dumb? https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/labor-pains-ob-gyn-shortage "Half of U.S. counties lack a single OB-GYN..."By 2020, there will be up to 8,000 fewer OB-GYNs than needed, according to ACOG, and the number may rise to 22,000 by mid-century."

There is more than you and your OB at play here JFC.

This is actually interesting. Rural areas have always lacked the requisite number of medical professionals needed per population stats. But I wonder if less people are going into the medical professional overall, its a lot of hard work - becoming a certified OB/GYN is a minimum of 10 years with college/med school/residency/specialization, and that is also contributing to a lack of availability for specialty fields.

Actually, most go for specialties as they pay more; it's not worth becoming a PCP. OBs have high liability, so most prefer to stick with the GYN side only. And nobody wants to be in podunk, they actually have residency programs with foreign MDs for rural areas.

[Anonymous]

My 2 cents - I'm a young Xer and we stopped at 2, despite having financial resources, because raising kids is absolutely exhausting. Parenting is becoming such an Olympic competition, so most people don't want the headache. My parents and my ILs were super laid back about parenting.