Am I Awesome or Terrible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have gotten to a stage where you don't respect him and are actively doing hurtful things. Marriage counseling to improve communication. Give it some real effort. I see why you're so irritated about the trash. He needs to learn how important this issue is to you, and you need different tools to cope with frustration.

How many ways and times does he need to be shown that leaving trash not in the bin outside creates a smelly and situating mess?

Or are you in the enabling / look the other way camp where Op should take on more and more of the joint responsibilities?

[Anonymous]

So what was the fallout?

[Anonymous]

You are abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have gotten to a stage where you don't respect him and are actively doing hurtful things. Marriage counseling to improve communication. Give it some real effort. I see why you're so irritated about the trash. He needs to learn how important this issue is to you, and you need different tools to cope with frustration.

How many ways and times does he need to be shown that leaving trash not in the bin outside creates a smelly and situating mess?

Or are you in the enabling / look the other way camp where Op should take on more and more of the joint responsibilities?

See post 10/29/2021 16:33 for how mature adults handle things in a relationship.


Also, trash does not have to be a joint responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are abusive.

BINGO!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are abusive.

Agreed. Terrible, immature and lacking control of emotions. I hope you do not have children as I fear for them. If you don't, don't ever have them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are abusive.

Yes you are abusive and his is mentally disabled. Don’t abuse the mentally disabled. Feel free to divorce them though. They will be a big continued burden and liability to you and to nay potential future children and adult children. It never ends. Their neediness, messes and accidents.

[Anonymous]

How many ways and times does he need to be shown that leaving trash not in the bin outside creates a smelly and situating mess?

Or are you in the enabling / look the other way camp where Op should take on more and more of the joint responsibilities?

No, she should not enable the behavior. They should go to counseling to get healthier communication habits, and he should be made aware of how his trash habits (and perhaps other inconsiderate habits) are affecting his wife. If he cannot make an effort to change certain habits, and the wife still feels provoked to such irritation that she is wiping his clothing in the garbage, they should divorce. You shouldn't stay married with that level of resentment, disrespect, and hostility present. Not saying it's not fixable... it totally is if both parties want to resolve it!

[Anonymous]

He should change his garbage habit... not because it is important to him... but because it is important to HER.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How many ways and times does he need to be shown that leaving trash not in the bin outside creates a smelly and situating mess?

Or are you in the enabling / look the other way camp where Op should take on more and more of the joint responsibilities?

No, she should not enable the behavior. They should go to counseling to get healthier communication habits, and he should be made aware of how his trash habits (and perhaps other inconsiderate habits) are affecting his wife. If he cannot make an effort to change certain habits, and the wife still feels provoked to such irritation that she is wiping his clothing in the garbage, they should divorce. You shouldn't stay married with that level of resentment, disrespect, and hostility present. Not saying it's not fixable... it totally is if both parties want to resolve it!

Op should talk to his former roommates. Might hear an earful.

[Anonymous]

If you need validation so badly that you posted this on DCUM, then you probably know you're not awesome. Sheesh. I can't imagine having that kind of contempt for the person I married. The whole thing is super lame and childish. If you guys have that little respect for one another, maybe find new living arrangements.

[Anonymous]

You contain multitudes.

[Anonymous]

Wtf. That is nasty.

[Anonymous]

Stop with the games and just go file for divorce.

You won’t though, because you enjoy the miserable Olympics.

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny and the teenager ignores me whenever I ask her to do her chores. So after asking her for 4 hours to take out the recycling, I put all the recycling in her bedroom. Then I took the younger kids to the park. Really wanted to also put the trash but you know, it’s trash.