Can’t tell if my work husband is interested in me or not?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I have a colleague in another office who I’ve interacted with for several years but much more lately (albeit virtually over zoom) as we have been on a case together. He is divorced and 20 years older than me. He does not know that I am recently separated and it would feel strange to mention it out of the blue. We have never once talked about my husband in all the time we’ve known each other.. almost like he doesn’t exist. This guy asks about my kids all the time, for what it’s worth. He has talked openly about his own family too.
I am starting to have feelings for him and every time I start to think it’s mutual I second guess myself. I just can’t tell. Some days we talk for an hour off the clock about random stuff that’s completely unrelated to work and he keeps saying “let’s get a socially distanced drink outdoors sometime soon,” but never follows up with specific plans. I have never once suggested getting together and have always responded in the affirmative, but he’s never moved to set it up. Other days it’s business, business, business and it’s like he’s a different person on those days. Cordial but just very different. It’s just really hard to tell what’s going on and I’ve been out of the dating scene for so long I’m confused. On days when he’s not all business, he compliments me frequently, both in terms of my physical appearance but also about lots of other things. Not in a sketchy way (or maybe it is) but stuff like “you look very pretty today,” or something like that. What gives? How can I figure out what’s going on here? Am I just the pretty work wife? |
Anonymous
|
I don't know but what jumped out at me is that he's 20 years older. Don't marry him, whatever you do.
|
Anonymous
| I mean, what if he is interested. Would you actually go on a date right now? |
Anonymous
|
Get through your divorce before you start pursuing a co-worker. Or anyone, frankly. You’re embarking on a painful journey that will leave you with messy emotions. On top of that you have kids who’ll be impacted as well.
Enjoy your crush if that’s what’s going on, but refrain from pursuing it for now. The last thing you need in the middle of a divorce is to lose your job or feel like you need to leave. |
Anonymous
| Nope nope nope. |
Anonymous
| It’s just a proximity crush. |
Anonymous
| What? Work husband? How old are you? Please keep work and private life separate. This will not end well. |
Anonymous
| COnsider the ED and saggy balls |
Anonymous
| Gross |
Anonymous
| I would go for it. He is older, you will feel like a goddess next to him and you have a crush on him. Both of you are single so no issues there. Don’t look at it as your next boyfriend relationship but something to make yourself feel better. He will like the attention so no issues hurting his feelings. And if you do, no big deal either. It sounds fun to me |
Anonymous
Agree with this. He is definitely interested in having sex with you. It's hard to fathom just how much men crave sex with women that much younger. If you are willing, he will dive in. That being said, I wouldn't consider this long term material. Just have fun with it. |
Anonymous
+1 you are looking for an escape. Don’t mess up your career out of curiosity. |
Anonymous
I’m the OP. This is sort of what I was thinking as I am definitely not looking for marriage right now, with anyone - but least of all with him. Yet I don’t know how to even get to the point where “he will dive in.” I am worried that I am somehow misunderstanding his intentions because he’s felt so hot and cold to me. I want to send a message that shows him I’m interested in a very low key way so that if he’s not, I don’t look crazy and embarrass myself. |
Anonymous
| Eh I would just let this go. Lots of opportunities for this to blow up in your face. |
Anonymous
| Next time he suggests a socially distanced drink, say, how about Friday? |