Reply to Can’t tell if my work husband is interested in me or not?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a colleague in another office who I’ve interacted with for several years but much more lately (albeit virtually over zoom) as we have been on a case together. He is divorced and 20 years older than me. He does not know that I am recently separated and it would feel strange to mention it out of the blue. We have never once talked about my husband in all the time we’ve known each other.. almost like he doesn’t exist. This guy asks about my kids all the time, for what it’s worth. He has talked openly about his own family too.

I am starting to have feelings for him and every time I start to think it’s mutual I second guess myself. I just can’t tell. Some days we talk for an hour off the clock about random stuff that’s completely unrelated to work and he keeps saying “let’s get a socially distanced drink outdoors sometime soon,” but never follows up with specific plans. I have never once suggested getting together and have always responded in the affirmative, but he’s never moved to set it up. Other days it’s business, business, business and it’s like he’s a different person on those days. Cordial but just very different. It’s just really hard to tell what’s going on and I’ve been out of the dating scene for so long I’m confused. On days when he’s not all business, he compliments me frequently, both in terms of my physical appearance but also about lots of other things. Not in a sketchy way (or maybe it is) but stuff like “you look very pretty today,” or something like that.

What gives? How can I figure out what’s going on here? Am I just the pretty work wife?

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