How to reconcile with someone after I told them I couldn’t attend event because of my at-risk DH
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Anonymous
| That was weeks ago and the person hasn’t contacted me since. I wasn’t rude but I probably should have said “Sorry I cant make it” and left it at that. I feel horrible. |
Anonymous
| Is the problem that you declined the invitation because you felt a group gathering wasn't safe, and then your friend now feels judged by you? What was the event? If the event has passed, you can reach out and express your hope that it went really well and you were so sorry to miss it, and if you want to hint that you and your DH are really erring on the side of extreme caution, but you're sorry to miss their event. |
Anonymous
| Reconcile is a strong word, OP. You did nothing wrong. You can call her and have a nice conversation. Please don't put your husband at risk. |
Anonymous
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Unless you told her that she shouldn't have the event at all, any feeling of being judged is her projecting, not on you. If you said, "Sorry, I can't make it. DH is in a high-risk category for COVID and we're being extra cautious" or something along those lines, then there is nothing wrong with that.
If you want to reach out and ask how the event went, go ahead. But you didn't do anything wrong. |
Anonymous
| What should they have contacted you about that they haven’t? If it’s just that they used to occasionally text you to check in, why can’t you text them? Or call and ask how the event was and mention that you’re sorry you missed it. |
Anonymous
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A lot of people are labeling themselves as "high risk" who aren't.
The death rate is now one-tenth what it was in April, and sinking. For people under age 70 it may turn out to be less deadly than the flu. |
Anonymous
| Why not just reach out and say hi? |
Anonymous
A lot of people don’t know how the risk is. I don’t have cancer or diabetes, but a spectrum of the lesser risk factors. So I have no idea what the combination risk would be. But either way, you all are blaring open up and let the high risk people stay home, why are you annoyed that they are doing exactly that? |
Anonymous
NP If you said no to this event why would she continue to ask you to other events just to get rejected? Is your husband any less of a risk today than the time she invited you? Sounds like you were rude on top of it. If friend has asked DCUM for advice you know what the majority of people would have told her to MOVE ON and STOP inviting you, right? If you want to maintain contact you have to reach out. She did and it was rejected so the ball is in your court. |
Anonymous
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Who cares if somebody labels themself as high risk and they aren't? it is perceived risk and they have the right to stay home.
Not only that ... you don't even know what kind of invisible risk somebody else might have. I'd dump the so called friend who doesn't care about your feelings and your health and your spouse. Bye. |
Anonymous
What is it that you feel so horrible about? An invitation is not a summons and you even offered a reasonable and understandable excuse for not attending so what is there to feel horrible about? |
Anonymous
You keep saying this on thread after thread but the numbers don't support this. Stop trying to make fetch happen. |
Anonymous
OP here. DH is 55, a diabetic, and slightly overweight. |
Anonymous
| And I think I’m just overreacting and I need to reach out |
Anonymous
| I don't get why you can't reach out? |