How to reconcile with someone after I told them I couldn’t attend event because of my at-risk DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are labeling themselves as "high risk" who aren't.

The death rate is now one-tenth what it was in April, and sinking. For people under age 70 it may turn out to be less deadly than the flu.

A lot of people don’t know how the risk is. I don’t have cancer or diabetes, but a spectrum of the lesser risk factors. So I have no idea what the combination risk would be.

But either way, you all are blaring open up and let the high risk people stay home, why are you annoyed that they are doing exactly that?

There are web site calculators which will show you your risk.

I'm annoyed by people who are labeling themselves the victim of the day when they aren't.

[Anonymous]

Why do you feel the need to share your reasons? Simply say you can't make it. End of. The more you explain about why you can't go, the more the host gets upset. It's a rule of life. Learn it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are labeling themselves as "high risk" who aren't.

The death rate is now one-tenth what it was in April, and sinking. For people under age 70 it may turn out to be less deadly than the flu.

OP here. DH is 55, a diabetic, and slightly overweight.

That isn't high risk. Tell him to stop eating ice cream and lose some weight. A friend of mine is about the same age and when the epidemic started in Italy he got nervous when he saw some Italian hospitals refusing to treat anyone with a BMI over 24. He lost 40 pounds since March and his A1C is now below 6 (diabetes cured).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are labeling themselves as "high risk" who aren't.

The death rate is now one-tenth what it was in April, and sinking. For people under age 70 it may turn out to be less deadly than the flu.

OP here. DH is 55, a diabetic, and slightly overweight.

That isn't high risk. Tell him to stop eating ice cream and lose some weight. A friend of mine is about the same age and when the epidemic started in Italy he got nervous when he saw some Italian hospitals refusing to treat anyone with a BMI over 24. He lost 40 pounds since March and his A1C is now below 6 (diabetes cured).

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/need-extra-precautions/people-with-medical-conditions.html
It literally says that diabetes is one of the high risk categories. Now what we don’t know is what kind of diabetes OP’s husband has. If he has Diabetes 2, then he is high risk. If he has diabetes 1, then he might be high risk. All of this is clearly stated in the link above from the CDC.

[Anonymous]

Just don't say why next time, unless you want to be fussed at for being careful, just like the pps here are doing.

I would just reach out via text or phone and say hi. If she doesn't want to talk, then move on.

[Anonymous]

A fourty year old friend, in shape, recent diabetes type 1 diagnosis, almost died of the flu back in January. It wasn't COVID, just regular flu. She is not attending any parties even though she looks like she wouldn't be at risk.

[Anonymous]

OP for you to be this worried, I feel like some info is missing. Is it like a wedding you were in where you then cancelled? Or did your explanation suggest they shouldn’t have the event at all? If you literally just turned down a social invite during a pandemic because your DH is high risk, I don’t remotely understand why you think the inviter is offended or why you don’t just reach out (“I was so bummed you miss X event. How was it? How are you doing? Can we catch up over zoom sometime? I miss you.”)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A fourty year old friend, in shape, recent diabetes type 1 diagnosis, almost died of the flu back in January. It wasn't COVID, just regular flu. She is not attending any parties even though she looks like she wouldn't be at risk.

People die from endemic viruses all the time. One of my parents died from pneumonia which resulted from a circulating virus. You can catch viral meningitis on a plane and be dead three days later. World-wide, 150,000 people died last year from measles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are labeling themselves as "high risk" who aren't.

The death rate is now one-tenth what it was in April, and sinking. For people under age 70 it may turn out to be less deadly than the flu.

OP here. DH is 55, a diabetic, and slightly overweight.

That isn't high risk. Tell him to stop eating ice cream and lose some weight. A friend of mine is about the same age and when the epidemic started in Italy he got nervous when he saw some Italian hospitals refusing to treat anyone with a BMI over 24. He lost 40 pounds since March and his A1C is now below 6 (diabetes cured).

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/need-extra-precautions/people-with-medical-conditions.html
It literally says that diabetes is one of the high risk categories. Now what we don’t know is what kind of diabetes OP’s husband has. If he has Diabetes 2, then he is high risk. If he has diabetes 1, then he might be high risk. All of this is clearly stated in the link above from the CDC.

Controlled T2 diabetes is not a risk factor. That's why one of the first tests hospitals do on a new patient is A1C.

Uncontrolled diabetes is a huge risk factor, for a number of reasons. C19 is able to exploit several weaknesses in the body that come from damage done to the blood vessels and blood cells by uncontrolled diabetes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are labeling themselves as "high risk" who aren't.

The death rate is now one-tenth what it was in April, and sinking. For people under age 70 it may turn out to be less deadly than the flu.

It is the poster’s call. I would attend NO social event right now, and don’t need you to get why