How to reconcile with someone after I told them I couldn’t attend event because of my at-risk DH

[Anonymous]

OP, a "no" shouldn't need anything other than no. However, reaching out to plan something else, or share a phone conversation, or something should be something you now initiate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are labeling themselves as "high risk" who aren't.

The death rate is now one-tenth what it was in April, and sinking. For people under age 70 it may turn out to be less deadly than the flu.

We are entering the most dangerous phase of the pandemic. It's better to be safe than sorry. Please do your part - that includes not being dismissive of the death rate, potential complications, and sheer human cost of this tragedy.

[Anonymous]

I’m confused. Why haven’t you called/texted/emailed with a “Hi Sally. How are you doing?”

[Anonymous]

Who is this person that you want to talk to him/her this much?

[Anonymous]

I had a friend do this. We made plans for a girls night (made Uber arrangements etc) and I wound up with a splitting headache that afternoon. Downed ibuprofen and water to no avail. She didn’t talk to me for a while and then was a bit short and then just got over it. And that was for a headache! You’re talking about a pandemic. Your friend needs to get over it.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like too much drama OP. You don’t feel comfortable getting together in a pandemic. If your friend won’t talk to you because of that cut her loose. You won’t regret it. It sounds like she’s a piece of work.

[Anonymous]

She didn’t talk to me for a while and then was a bit short and then just got over it

She's seeing which direction the relationship is going. Is there anything else you cancel last minute. Was she fooled or was it canceling for a sincere reason. Some of her behavior is she protecting herself until time proves, you cancelling, was an outliner event.

[Anonymous]

What makes you think there is a problem, op?
It’s true that if you decline an event, you may not be invited to others. Nobody likes to be told no, and depending on how we were raised, we know that “no means no” doesn’t just refer to sex.

Reach out to your friend and see what happens. It’s likely he or she is just busy.

Finally, know that anybody who would be upset with you because you prioritize your husband is no friend of yours and certainly is not a friend of the marriage. Steer very clear of such people.

I’ll say it again, friends can be abusive just like spouses. Don’t cut ties just yet, but don’t work too hard to reconcile with an adult who may not at least nominally care about the person you chose to marry.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the slightest bit high risk. And, I'm super social usually. I have turned down all invites. If someone doesn't understand why, that is on them. They can have the exposure they choose, but I need to keep my bubble small, as there are many layers that friends may not know about (I have a child and an ex, ex has a girlfriend with elderly parents, boyfriend has children and an ex, ex has a girlfriend with at risk kids and older parents - so I don't see my girl friends, period).

[Anonymous]

While it isn’t REQUIRED that you offer an excuse when declining an invite, it is the polite thing to do, especially if the invite is coming from a friend. I am curious what the event was, and how the RSVP was handled. Did you speak to the friend or simply check the “regret” box? Was this a wedding or a graduation party or drinks in the backyard for 2 couples?
You excuse of high risk spouse or your germ a phobia should be understood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While it isn’t REQUIRED that you offer an excuse when declining an invite, it is the polite thing to do, especially if the invite is coming from a friend. I am curious what the event was, and how the RSVP was handled. Did you speak to the friend or simply check the “regret” box? Was this a wedding or a graduation party or drinks in the backyard for 2 couples?
You excuse of high risk spouse or your germ a phobia should be understood.

OP is afraid that her explanation gave offense, so she must have explained.

[Anonymous]

You know you don't have to be afraid of dying to not want covid. My husband has it, is not hospitalized, and is miserable.

[Anonymous]

Have you been out and about otherwise? If so This could have offended your friend, so just reach out and say hi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are labeling themselves as "high risk" who aren't.

The death rate is now one-tenth what it was in April, and sinking. For people under age 70 it may turn out to be less deadly than the flu.

We are entering the most dangerous phase of the pandemic. It's better to be safe than sorry. Please do your part - that includes not being dismissive of the death rate, potential complications, and sheer human cost of this tragedy.

I hope you aren't serious. 3 million Americans will die this year from all causes. About 6 percent of those deaths may be caused by C19.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are labeling themselves as "high risk" who aren't.

The death rate is now one-tenth what it was in April, and sinking. For people under age 70 it may turn out to be less deadly than the flu.

You keep saying this on thread after thread but the numbers don't support this. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

I've only said it once, and on this thread.