Working Moms...sick of being passed over for gay co-workers???

[Anonymous]

It has happened to me twice...yes, I am bitter, I admit it...but twice now I have been passed over for promotions because gay male co-workers can devote more time after hours etc than me (at the office, I always work late at home). They have no children and I know bosses know chances are...they never will. I don't even want to get into the details of my situation...but I wanted to know if anyone else feels this way. Yes, it know it seems like a petty post...and I admit it is, but I am pissed now. Seems I made the huge mistake career-wise of having children....the best decision I have made on every other level of my life. So sad that this is still the case in 2010.

[Anonymous]

Uh...no not personally. You may get more takers if you put men or childless women in that category, just singling out gay men seems kind of weird.

Somethings gotta give when you have kids, no matter who you are. If you work, if you quit work, whatever. I like my job, and sure I've slowed down since having kids, but it's totally worth it to me. I figure slowing down is better than stopping working all together (for me, personal decision not a comment on what other families do), and I'm grateful to have a job I enjoy that earns me a paycheck.

I've always been big into work-life balance though, even pre-kids. No job is going to kill me slowly by making me work a hundred hours. That said, I am not in a highly compensated field either so it evens out!

[Anonymous]

I think OP is specifically saying gay men because there is a very minimal (although not at all impossible) chance of them having children due to...well you why.

[Anonymous]

If you're happy with your decision why you're so bitter?
Just because you chose to have kids and your company needs someone willing to be late in office we have to keep up with your pity? weird!

[Anonymous]

Almost all of my gay coworkers have children.

Wake up and smell the bigotry that is you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Almost all of my gay coworkers have children.

Wake up and smell the bigotry that is you.

Here here! OP is a bigot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has happened to me twice...yes, I am bitter, I admit it...but twice now I have been passed over for promotions because gay male co-workers can devote more time after hours etc than me (at the office, I always work late at home). They have no children and I know bosses know chances are...they never will. I don't even want to get into the details of my situation...but I wanted to know if anyone else feels this way. Yes, it know it seems like a petty post...and I admit it is, but I am pissed now. Seems I made the huge mistake career-wise of having children....the best decision I have made on every other level of my life. So sad that this is still the case in 2010.

Maybe those gay men are just better than you.

[Anonymous]

I really don't think the OP is trying to be a bigot. I think she truly feels she's being passed up by her boss because her boss assumes the gay men will not be having children, therefore they'll be able to work whenever. Perhaps her boss is misinformed or the gay men in her office are in no position to have children at this time.

[Anonymous]

Although I too know numerous gay people who have children I also have many gay friends who will never have children nor want them. I totally understand why someone would make an assumption that gay equals childless. It's not a very educated assumption but I understand why someone might think that. I don't think that makes someone a bigot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don't think the OP is trying to be a bigot. I think she truly feels she's being passed up by her boss because her boss assumes the gay men will not be having children, therefore they'll be able to work whenever. Perhaps her boss is misinformed or the gay men in her office are in no position to have children at this time.

I don't think she is trying to be a bigot, but sometimes you don't have to try. I mean, c'mon! She got passed over twice and because both people are gay, now she sees a conspiracy.

[Anonymous]

Wonder what we'd be saying if OP thought she was being passed over because both people are
MEN?

[Anonymous]

Quick, someone call Fox News! We've got a new conspiracy on our hands!!

First it was the illegals. Now it's "The Gays" who are taking our jobs. Where will it end?!!?!!

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't have statistics to back this up, but I'd venture to say that increasing numbers of gay couples are able to have/having children. These people are going to have the same work/life issues that you are having.

I think you probably aren't a bigot. I think your workplace values face time (perhaps more than some other work places) and that frustrates you since face time doesn't work with the schedule of your family life. I can relate to that.

Wish I had a solution for you. How good are you at playing the political "game" at work? Do they know about the hours that you're putting in during the evenings? Some people are better at tooting their own horn than others...

[Anonymous]

First it's gay marriage and now they want promotions! You just had to see that coming. Next they will want the right to buy property and vote. Mark my words...

[Anonymous]

I understand your position, it is tough. But I agree...it is not just gay folks, it's anyone without kids...and let's face it, we get lots of perks folks without kids do not get. Just hang in there...maybe try to look for another company who has a more family friendly approach?