Awful experiences at School?
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Anonymous
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I graduated my prep school in 2001, so this is probably ridiculous to even consider, but I would honestly like to sue them! I was pretty majorly sexually harassed by older male students starting in 8th grade. When I walked past the cafeteria, they would bang on the windows. My 8th grade “boyfriend” had his home vandalized. A Junior was suspended from playing football because he was heard (not by me) making such violent, sexual comments about me. We lost a championship, perhaps due to his absence, and I was harshly blamed for it.
In 9th grade, the older girls were, obviously, merciless and I dreaded classes ending because I’d have to walk in the hall with them. When I attended a formal that year, I was yelled at, drinks were thrown at me, etc. by older girls. The school then made a rule that freshmen were not allowed to attend formals, which was known as the “my name rule”. I attended this school from Kindergarten until graduating 12th grade, and I’m now really upset that I wasn’t protected. I’m sure that’s crazy. But I was a straight A student until 9th grade (when the stress really got to me and my eyelashes fell out for the first time). I still made good grades, took AP’s and attended a good college. But it really changed who I was and I still often feel like ‘prey’. I am totally in therapy and just feeling anger for the first time ever, so I am working on it. But how ridiculous would it be to attempt to sue my former private? Sorry this was so long and I am almost positive that it’s a silly idea! But I guess maybe I just wanted to vent (about experiences from 20 years ago!) so thanks for reading / letting me vent. |
Anonymous
| OP, not sure about the legal aspect but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I also attended a private school from 2nd grade through 12th where I was mercilessly bullied every.single.day. It was horrible. And like you, I was a good student but my grades began to suffer around 10th grade. Despite everything, I still succeeded in life but the mental toll has been huge. |
Anonymous
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I’m so sorry! It’s amazing how much it affects you, right? Congratulations on becoming a successful, empathetic person and not allowing them to take that from you! Thank you so much for your response and I wish you all of the healing in the world!
-OP |
Anonymous
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Make that me three. Mine was just low level bullying compared to you two. Same private school from 1st -12th. I don't know what our parents were thinking. I have damage as well and have been in therapy. Wish I had gone public, it would have been so much better for me in retrospect, especially in high school.
Hope you are getting good help OP. Hugs. |
Anonymous
| Guy here - I went to an all male HS and when I was a freshman I was very small - maybe 5’2” - and I had a severe and very noticeable physical disability. All freshman got picked on but mine was pretty intense because of the disability. One day in a hallway a bigger upperclassman called me an “f—-ing cripple” which set me off and I hit him as hard as I could and the punch slammed his head into a locker and he collapsed on the floor and had to be taken to a doctor. It helped that I had two older brothers so I knew how to fight. I thought I was going to be suspended but when the principal heard the whole story it was the guy who I hit that got in trouble. After that I still got picked on because I was a freshman but no one ever again picked on me because of my disability. I guess it helps to be a boy. I’m sorry for what you went through but people can be really mean. |
Anonymous
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I’m so sorry that this resonated with you! Thank you so much for the hugs and right back at you! Therapy is tremendous and I’m very privileged to be able to take advantage of it. I hope you heal and I really appreciate your comment!
Okay, I’ll stop babysitting my thread now, LOL! But thank you again! -OP |
Anonymous
Ok, I’m almost done lurking on my thread! I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am that you had to deal with that! I don’t think boys have it any easier and I’m sorry that I’m whining about something relatively insignificant compared to what you dealt with. Again, I’m so sorry that happened to you and, embarrassingly, I’m happy that you showed him! Thanks for commenting and hope you’re doing really well! -OP |
Anonymous
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There’s a 1995 documentary called simply “Crumb” about cartoonist Robert Crumb - who was terribly bullied in the 1950s.
You should watch it. |
Anonymous
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I went to an elite all-girl’s school in DC and while I wasn’t the recipient of the level of bullying y’all were subjected to the experience was traumatic & damaging. Thank god for therapy!
There should be a survivors of prep schools support group! |
Anonymous
| Where were your parents? |
Anonymous
| Post all of your experiences, with their names, somewhere online. They're middle aged by now and would probably be mortified (although by now they're probably better people, so what's the point really....) |
Anonymous
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In 8th grade a boy told me on the bus to an xc meet that he was going to forcefully “come up inside of me and f*ck me.” I told my parents and at the next meet when he took pictures of me in our school cardigan and my xc uniform (I lost my hoodie) and he posted them online (I’m in my 20s now), my dad cornered him, pushed him up against a tree, and told him he’d be scared for his life if he ever bothered me again. He never bothered me again.
Also in 8th, a boy threw a very large rock at my head at the bus stop. 10+ kids saw it, it hurt like hell, etc. The next day my dad randomly said he was driving me to school instead of having me take the bus. I looked over and realized we were at the bus stop. My dad runs out of the car and threatens the kids to fess up. |
Anonymous
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Private school I attended in MD had several cases of sexual abuse.
One perpetrator died while under indictment; another served time. A third I think was also arrested. A fourth case involved a 17 yr old student who was with a divorced teacher in his late 20s. The student initiated it. I don’t believe she ever made a complaint Or reported it to anyone. |
Anonymous
I went to a coed private school and was bullied by several sophomores during BMG freshman year. So I physically assaulted the biggest one (punched him in the mouth really really hard). We both got sent to the headmasters office. There were no consequences- but the bullying ceased immediately. |
Anonymous
| I mean this in the kindest way. I hope all of you are in therapy, getting help to work through this trauma. |