Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me

[Anonymous]

I'm the mom. My kids desperately want a dog, and I know my husband does too, though he doesn't take their side against me. We live in a small houes, and already have two cats. I've never had a dog but my husband grew up with them and had several as an adult before we met. I feel terrible saying no, but I know I will get stuck dealing with all the unpleasant aspects of having a dog--cleaning up poop in the backyard, walking it early in the morning etc. Plus I worry about the cats--what if they don't get along with a dog? Plus we would probably have to hire a dog walker once we go back to school and work, which is an expense I don't want to add right now.
Am I a horrible person?

[Anonymous]

Same here, Sister.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Kids can get dogs after they've grown up and moved out.

[Anonymous]

OP you're not horrible you're right. I'm the mom and I get up at 6am every single day to let the dog out / feed / clean up and keep him company (gets separation anxiety). I love him to bits but I do 90% of the work. When he eventually dies we will not replace him.

[Anonymous]

If you believe you're going to be doing the work and you don't even want a dog in the first place, just say no.

If your husband can commit to doing the work, perhaps you can move to yes.

[Anonymous]

Samesies. Definitely not horrible. I told DH he can have a dog when he retires and can commit to taking care of it 100% of the time.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. I'm on the flip side. I desperately want a dog and my husband is on the fence. I've promised him he doesn't have to do any of the work. I will clean, I will train, I will exercise. The kids say they will but I know how that goes.

If your husband would do all the work, and you believe him, would that make it more tolerable?

Also, what do you not like about dogs? I hate barking and hyperness, so I know what type of dog not to get. There is also shedding and chewing to consider. All of this can be managed, but at least one adult needs to be fully committed to it.

[Anonymous]

We got a dog 2 months ago. It’s been wonderful. She is adored by us all and lightens the mood in our house. She is a lot of work but it’s been so worth it at our home.

[Anonymous]

I am Team Dog normally, but in this case I'd say wait for your cats to die and THEN get a dog. And walk it twice a day so it doesn't poop in the yard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. I'm on the flip side. I desperately want a dog and my husband is on the fence. I've promised him he doesn't have to do any of the work. I will clean, I will train, I will exercise. The kids say they will but I know how that goes.

If your husband would do all the work, and you believe him, would that make it more tolerable?

Also, what do you not like about dogs? I hate barking and hyperness, so I know what type of dog not to get. There is also shedding and chewing to consider. All of this can be managed, but at least one adult needs to be fully committed to it.

Thanks for this. My husband says he will do a lot of the work, but he doesn't clean up after himself so I don't have much confidence that he would really do all the dog stuff. Please he has to leave for work at 7:00 a.m. which means I would likely be on the hook for a morning walk. That said, please share the type of dog that is not hyper and doesn't bark--that would be very helpful to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. I'm on the flip side. I desperately want a dog and my husband is on the fence. I've promised him he doesn't have to do any of the work. I will clean, I will train, I will exercise. The kids say they will but I know how that goes.

If your husband would do all the work, and you believe him, would that make it more tolerable?

Also, what do you not like about dogs? I hate barking and hyperness, so I know what type of dog not to get. There is also shedding and chewing to consider. All of this can be managed, but at least one adult needs to be fully committed to it.

Thanks for this. My husband says he will do a lot of the work, but he doesn't clean up after himself so I don't have much confidence that he would really do all the dog stuff. Please he has to leave for work at 7:00 a.m. which means I would likely be on the hook for a morning walk. That said, please share the type of dog that is not hyper and doesn't bark--that would be very helpful to know.

Op don’t get a dog. You know what would happen

Re a dog type you are looking for I don’t know of any dog that has neither of those behaviors. Sorry. Many have one but not the other. But trust me, go for “can be fully toilet trained” as a first priority. It is shocking how many dog breeds do not meet this bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. I'm on the flip side. I desperately want a dog and my husband is on the fence. I've promised him he doesn't have to do any of the work. I will clean, I will train, I will exercise. The kids say they will but I know how that goes.

If your husband would do all the work, and you believe him, would that make it more tolerable?

Also, what do you not like about dogs? I hate barking and hyperness, so I know what type of dog not to get. There is also shedding and chewing to consider. All of this can be managed, but at least one adult needs to be fully committed to it.

Thanks for this. My husband says he will do a lot of the work, but he doesn't clean up after himself so I don't have much confidence that he would really do all the dog stuff. Please he has to leave for work at 7:00 a.m. which means I would likely be on the hook for a morning walk. That said, please share the type of dog that is not hyper and doesn't bark--that would be very helpful to know.

a dead dog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. I'm on the flip side. I desperately want a dog and my husband is on the fence. I've promised him he doesn't have to do any of the work. I will clean, I will train, I will exercise. The kids say they will but I know how that goes.

If your husband would do all the work, and you believe him, would that make it more tolerable?

Also, what do you not like about dogs? I hate barking and hyperness, so I know what type of dog not to get. There is also shedding and chewing to consider. All of this can be managed, but at least one adult needs to be fully committed to it.

Thanks for this. My husband says he will do a lot of the work, but he doesn't clean up after himself so I don't have much confidence that he would really do all the dog stuff. Please he has to leave for work at 7:00 a.m. which means I would likely be on the hook for a morning walk. That said, please share the type of dog that is not hyper and doesn't bark--that would be very helpful to know.

Sharpei
Greyhound
Mastiff
Bullmastiff
Rhodesian Ridgeback.

They are big though.

[Anonymous]

OP, I was you. Down to the two kids that want to help and two cats. I knew I would end up doing the majority of the work and I was a firm no.

Come the pandemic and a month in I thought (1) we are home all the time and this is unique, and (2) I really wanted something to motivate my kids to get out of the house every day.

My DH meanwhile has been working nonstop since the pandemic started. I said yes to a dog and assumed the main responsibility. I preface this with saying that two months in I love our dog and wouldn’t trade him for the world.

It is like having a baby in that you do not know what you are getting into until you are in it. A puppy has a relentless need for care and attention. Potty training is a commitment to habit that is hard to share across the family and it is hard to maintain sanity if potty training isn’t going well. Basic obedience training is also necessary and a commitment, there is lots of guidance out there but it requires consistency.

We have taken up all the rugs but one on our main floor as they are too attractive as a place to eliminate indoors.

Raising cats is easy least compared to raising a dog.

If your DH is not there he cannot do most of the work. On the bright side, I have finally gotten serious with my kids and their chores because the demands with the puppy, the kids and a full time job pushed me to my limit. Our puppy is the best and he is getting calmer, less bitey and is chewing fewer things in our house.

Read all the threads on here by new puppy owners that are at their wits end. The reward is great but it is no walk in the park.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was you. Down to the two kids that want to help and two cats. I knew I would end up doing the majority of the work and I was a firm no.

Come the pandemic and a month in I thought (1) we are home all the time and this is unique, and (2) I really wanted something to motivate my kids to get out of the house every day.

My DH meanwhile has been working nonstop since the pandemic started. I said yes to a dog and assumed the main responsibility. I preface this with saying that two months in I love our dog and wouldn’t trade him for the world.

It is like having a baby in that you do not know what you are getting into until you are in it. A puppy has a relentless need for care and attention. Potty training is a commitment to habit that is hard to share across the family and it is hard to maintain sanity if potty training isn’t going well. Basic obedience training is also necessary and a commitment, there is lots of guidance out there but it requires consistency.

We have taken up all the rugs but one on our main floor as they are too attractive as a place to eliminate indoors.

Raising cats is easy least compared to raising a dog.

If your DH is not there he cannot do most of the work. On the bright side, I have finally gotten serious with my kids and their chores because the demands with the puppy, the kids and a full time job pushed me to my limit. Our puppy is the best and he is getting calmer, less bitey and is chewing fewer things in our house.

Read all the threads on here by new puppy owners that are at their wits end. The reward is great but it is no walk in the park.

Good luck.

So much work and so much expense. Don't do it if you're at all ambivalent.