Giving your married child a down payment, then divorce

[Anonymous]

If you have given or plan to give a down payment to your child(ren) who are already married, how do you protect your gift from being taken by the spouse if they get divorced in the future? The house becomes a community property from my understanding.

Do you structure the gift as an interest-free loan that is due upon divorce?
Do you make them sign a post-nup?

We are located in DC, if that makes a difference regarding laws.

[Anonymous]

What a toxic, controlling attitude. A gift is a gift. You should never give anybody money if you're going to get upset over what choices are made after the money leaves your hands. Save yourself and your child the grief.

[Anonymous]

You can’t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have given or plan to give a down payment to your child(ren) who are already married, how do you protect your gift from being taken by the spouse if they get divorced in the future? The house becomes a community property from my understanding.

Do you structure the gift as an interest-free loan that is due upon divorce?
Do you make them sign a post-nup?

We are located in DC, if that makes a difference regarding laws.

This reads like you're trying to be the catalyst for your kid's divorce, FYI.

[Anonymous]

I am the adult child in this scenario and was able to recoup the gift off the split on the home sale.

But it wasn't inherent in the gift, it was something my lawyer helped me negotiate with my ex's lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Don’t give them so much money, that you would be upset about the ex getting half in the divorce. Figure out how much you’d be okay with them getting, then give according to that.

[Anonymous]

If you can't cope with the spouse getting half the house, don't make this gift. It's as simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Whoa, are there red flags and you’re expecting divorce?

My parents wrote a check to both of us. It was a gift. 15 years later if we divorced, we’d split the equity equally including the gift money. You can’t keep score in a healthy marriage.

[Anonymous]

If you are giving them 20%, then put your name on the title

[Anonymous]

Don’t listen to unhelpful PPs OP. I understand your question and had same one when my parents gave me and my DH money for down payment. I didn’t find a proper answer (didn’t look very hard). But I sat down DH and made it clear that if we divorce I consider that down payment as my inheritance and not communal property. Yes, yes I know what everyone thinks, but we are a good couple and if we divorce it will most likely be consensual (if it is not I know I can sit on any promise).

Anyway, just to say that I think it is a very fair question and I hope someone has a good answer for you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to unhelpful PPs OP. I understand your question and had same one when my parents gave me and my DH money for down payment. I didn’t find a proper answer (didn’t look very hard). But I sat down DH and made it clear that if we divorce I consider that down payment as my inheritance and not communal property. Yes, yes I know what everyone thinks, but we are a good couple and if we divorce it will most likely be consensual (if it is not I know I can sit on any promise).

Anyway, just to say that I think it is a very fair question and I hope someone has a good answer for you

Lol. You can consider it proof your right to the throne of Genovia, and if you actually divorce it won't make one bit of difference.

Also, most people think they're "good couples" when they get married. That's why they get married.

[Anonymous]

Gift given before marriage will not enter into the community property of the married couple. Therefore, give the gift before marriage or make them do a prenup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to unhelpful PPs OP. I understand your question and had same one when my parents gave me and my DH money for down payment. I didn’t find a proper answer (didn’t look very hard). But I sat down DH and made it clear that if we divorce I consider that down payment as my inheritance and not communal property. Yes, yes I know what everyone thinks, but we are a good couple and if we divorce it will most likely be consensual (if it is not I know I can sit on any promise).

Anyway, just to say that I think it is a very fair question and I hope someone has a good answer for you

Lol. You can consider it proof your right to the throne of Genovia, and if you actually divorce it won't make one bit of difference.

Also, most people think they're "good couples" when they get married. That's why they get married.

Haha. Right? As long as you sat him down and made that clear, then, sure, you're all set. Next question: why didn't he run for the hills at that point?

[Anonymous]

It's a gift. What they do with it once it's given is none of your business.

If you aren't comfortable letting it be a gift, don't give it. Don't attach strings to gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a gift. What they do with it once it's given is none of your business.

If you aren't comfortable letting it be a gift, don't give it. Don't attach strings to gifts.

It's a gift to one party (their child) but not to the couple.