Giving your married child a down payment, then divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people on this board are missing the point that if the couple remains married til death do them part, then the family money / down payment is fine and dandy.

What if the son in law has an affair and they get divorced, I wouldn’t want the SOB to take half of my family’s money on top of the emotional wreck he caused my daughter.

To all of the people downplaying the OP’s concern and criticizing it, what would YOU do if the unpredictable divorce happened to YOUR child and you had been so “generous” to give them hundreds of thousands for a house, and the son in law walks away with your hundreds of thousands $$$ to spend on his new mistress. No regrets, really?!?

I’m with you OP. In similar situation. The FACT is we are looking at at 60% divorce rate in our culture.
And no SOB is going to screw over my girl and then walk with my hard, hard earned $$.
Bottom line: It all Depends on the gift amount..,under $50k I don’t care. Gift over $50k is a different ballgame.
Best to leave in trust or if they are lucky and produce kids, best to direct the $$ towards the grandchildren.

Don’t listen to idiots on this forum. Most will likely never have the problem of gifting anyone.

Actually, the divorce rate among the well-educated is very low. So if 60% of your social circle is divorced, then you must run in low circles.

[Anonymous]

My parents give us money every year. Most years it is 3-5k but some years it has been around 20k. When my marriage hit a rough patch I told my mom to just send that years check to my kids college fund. At that point in time, I wasn’t sure where things were heading so it made sense to just give it directly to the kids. My parents didn’t even question it- just assumed our financial priority that year was bulking up the 529s. Fortunately, we worked through the issues and are in a much better place years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents give us money every year. Most years it is 3-5k but some years it has been around 20k. When my marriage hit a rough patch I told my mom to just send that years check to my kids college fund. At that point in time, I wasn’t sure where things were heading so it made sense to just give it directly to the kids. My parents didn’t even question it- just assumed our financial priority that year was bulking up the 529s. Fortunately, we worked through the issues and are in a much better place years later.

Who is the owner (not beneficiary) of the 529?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have given or plan to give a down payment to your child(ren) who are already married, how do you protect your gift from being taken by the spouse if they get divorced in the future? The house becomes a community property from my understanding.

Do you structure the gift as an interest-free loan that is due upon divorce?
Do you make them sign a post-nup?

We are located in DC, if that makes a difference regarding laws.

You’re a spiteful cheapskate loser op

All the naysayers like this one are women mooching off their husbands and hate the idea of the possibility of one of their own ever getting anything less.

OP, Talk to a lawyer. This is legal advice and I've noticed that while this forum is infested with lawyers, they don't like to give out free advise. They do bombard the forum with questions for free advice on everything else! Go figure..

I’m the divorce lawyer who posted several times in this thread. I did give advice. Go figure.

Thank you for doing that. You are an exception. Many times, I've asked a question here and the advice is mostly along the lines of "Don't be a cheapskate, pay for a lawyer" or "you shouldn't be asking an anonymous person for advice, so go get a lawyer", etc. Most people want a sounding board here so they can have a frame of reference before they pay money to a professional.
However, I see questions on investing, Roth IRA, etc. every week with 100s of us answering enthusiastically without the common refrain of "go get a professional".