Summer camp dilemma - wwyd

[Anonymous]

We are no longer in DC but since this board is helpful wanted to see what others would do.

We left when schools shut down to go to my parents’ because we wanted more space, they have an amazing backyard with a pool and they offered to help with the kids which has been really helpful so DH and I can work. It has worked out really well but my daughter (almost 8) is really missing her friends and being around kids other than her little brother (he is only 2). We have been gone for nearly 3 months now.

We found out this week that her summer camp will open in mid-July for a shorter session and she is begging us to go back home so she can attend since her two best friends are going. I am really torn - first off, the camp is taking every precaution to operate as safely as possible (following all health dept guidelines) but it’s obviously not without risk. While part of me does not want to let her go just in case, I worry that if school doesn’t resume full time in the fall I worry that these 4-5 weeks of camps may be her only chance at normalcy for a very long time and don’t want to deprive her of that.

Second, DH, DS and I are perfectly happy staying with my parents for longer but I know it sucks for my older one since lots of her friends are starting to do distance play dates and back yard get together which we can’t do because we are not around.

What would others do here? We can go back home for 4-5 weeks, let DD go to camp and then come back to my parents if everyone is healthy and school doesn’t start in person. Or we don’t take the risk and do not send her to camp.

Would love to hear from middle of the road people who are still taking precautions but will absolutely send your kids to school in the fall if they reopen - since obviously anyone still being super strict probably wouldn’t entertain camp at all.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

I would let her go to camp. Mental health is important too.

[Anonymous]

She is 8, she doesn’t get to dictate what the family does. Look for camps near the grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let her go to camp. Mental health is important too.

Same here

[Anonymous]

I’d send her to camp if it works for the family logistically - but I am and all of my friends are sending our kids to camp

[Anonymous]

There is absolutely no way on Earth that I would leave the paradise of childcare help you are living in for the situation we are in now. Sorry, but no to 8 year old. Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

I am sending my 14 yo to camp. They have cut the groups in half, shortened the week to 3 nights and made a number of other changes.

[Anonymous]

How is it going to work for your younger child’s care and your work? If it’s NBD to go home and work while taking care of your younger child I’d do it. But to me this sounds like trading one set of problems for another. And in the long run, your older child will be fine. This is a blip on all of our radars, not a defining moment unless you have health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is absolutely no way on Earth that I would leave the paradise of childcare help you are living in for the situation we are in now. Sorry, but no to 8 year old. Absolutely not.

+1

Your eight year old will survive. Truly, she will. Some time being a bit bored and away from her friends will not damage her mental health like some posters here are always so quick to say.

Countless kids spend summers away from friends. Many never see a camp, ever. She will live. But one word of advice: When you say no, make it quick and clean. Don't over-explain it, don't let her harp on it, don't tolerate any moping and especially not any begging, and you and the grandparents all should agree not to say things like "it's so disappointing, we know...we're sorry but..we know you miss your friends...." A clear, simple, sympathetic "no" followed by "it's not possible to travel back just for camp and we're already settled here for now." Then distract with something to do then and there.

Don't overplay the "so sorry to say no" stuff or she will get the message that the adults are sad about all these changes. Yes, the loss of expected summer activities IS indeed sad and we parents ARE sorry to see our kids lose their expected fun--I know from experience. But they take their cues from us. If we push on and show how to enjoy where we are and the people we're with, the kids will have to do the same.

[Anonymous]

I would send her. Maybe just for two weeks or so? Can one of you go home with her and let the other parent stay behind with the younger child? I’ve only recently started seeing how this is impacting my kids, and I’ll just say I don’t think the continued social isolation is good for them.

[Anonymous]

Hard no.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. You don't let kids do something bad for their health jut because they want to do it. That's what being a parent is.

[Anonymous]

No camp but:
1. Facetime with friends
2. Video games where she can meet her friends. A safe one is Star Stable, if she’s into horses. My daughter loves it, and goes on “rides” with her friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would send her. Maybe just for two weeks or so? Can one of you go home with her and let the other parent stay behind with the younger child? I’ve only recently started seeing how this is impacting my kids, and I’ll just say I don’t think the continued social isolation is good for them.

This was my thought, too. If possible, have one parent go home with her, since that parent can work during the day while daughter is at camp. The other stays with the younger child and grandparents, to keep the childcare help.

I also agree with the posters above about mental health. Yes, she'll survive, and yes, kids and families all over the world have it much harder. That doesn't mean it's good for her mental health. Childhood is so short as it is; let her enjoy her summer where she can. Who knows what Fall might be like?