Summer camp dilemma - wwyd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you tell her the camp was open? An almost 8 year old wouldn’t know this on her own.

I’d look for local camps.

+1 to the question. -1 to local camps. This thing is coming back quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would let her go to camp. Mental health is important too.

Same here

She is with her parents, has plenty of food, swimming pool, air conditioning, tv, etc. Eight year olds do what they are told to do and I would have told her to stop whining a long time ago. What a spoiled brat. That, of course, is because of you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sending my 14 yo to camp. They have cut the groups in half, shortened the week to 3 nights and made a number of other changes.

How nice to know that on e cannot get Covid 19 if only away at camp three nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. You don't let kids do something bad for their health jut because they want to do it. That's what being a parent is.

Kids do lots of things that are potentially bad for their health (riding in a car, for example) but we allow them because the benefits outweigh the risks.

+1 And camp is not bad for their health. Do some reading, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how truly stressed she’s been, OP. I also have an eight year old daughter, and she was so, so miserable for the first 7 weeks of the pandemic, before we started socially distant interactions at our local field. She has two younger brothers, but truly needs true peer interaction, at least IMO. She went from multiple meltdowns/day to typical mood variability; the difference was night and day.

I’d be inclined to let her go, and probably split things up as PP suggested (with one parent going back with her). Mental health absolutely matters, and I think it’s important to consider that Fall won’t provide significant play opportunities for her.

DP. "Socially distant interactions at our local field" is a world apart from OP taking the DD all the way back home to attend a camp that will surely not be anywhere near as socially distanced as your child playing in a field with a few others. A field that's local to you. You're not uprooting the plans and going elsewhere for weeks to make the interactions happen. It's nice that your kid can do that, and too bad that OP's can't get to camp, but these are not "essential" things, mental health claims or not.

And if I could have sent my eight year old back to camp, as OP proposes, I absolutely would. If her camp opens this summer, she'll go back. I sure as hell wouldn't continue to isolate a kid who is unhappy that way (recognizing that not all kids are).

Also, yes. Social interaction is, for many kids, absolutely essential to healthy development. You can stick your head in the sand all you want, or think that mental health isn't a thing, or whatever, but you are incorrect on that one.

One summer of living with the grandparents in the country where things are not very exciting and other kids aren't local -- which is what OP describes, look it up above in the thread -- is not going to damage her child irrevocably. Why do you think that is the case? Do you think no child has ever spent a boring summer like that? Or that children who did are somehow damaged?

OP did not say her child is somehow emotionally fragile or ill. Her child is disappointed and mad that she cannot do what she had looked forward to doing this summer. That's sad. It is not something to pathologize as a mental health issue. Doing so cheapens real mental health issues.

And don't presume you know that I or anyone thinks "mental health isn't a thing." Wow. Presumptious of you. Like I said: You are cheapening the idea of actual mental health when you and other parents try to make boredom into a mental health problem. OP and her family can step it up to do more AS a family and I'm sure they will. Like people have forever.

Actually, the OP just said her kid is really missing her friends, which was why, in the first sentence of my response, I said that the decision depends on how stressed her child is.

You then read into the OP disappointment, anger, boredom, etc. All of that is likely there AND there may be more to it. I never even used the word boredom in my post, and I absolutely don't consider it a mental health issue. When my kids tell me they're bored, I tell them to go find something to do. *You* decided that's what I meant. So, who's the presumptuous one, again?

[Anonymous]

Why on earth did you tell her about the camp before you'd made your decision?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how truly stressed she’s been, OP. I also have an eight year old daughter, and she was so, so miserable for the first 7 weeks of the pandemic, before we started socially distant interactions at our local field. She has two younger brothers, but truly needs true peer interaction, at least IMO. She went from multiple meltdowns/day to typical mood variability; the difference was night and day.

I’d be inclined to let her go, and probably split things up as PP suggested (with one parent going back with her). Mental health absolutely matters, and I think it’s important to consider that Fall won’t provide significant play opportunities for her.

I agree with this. I would also recommend scheduling a telemedicine appointment with your pediatrician to talk through your concerns. We're sending our son back to daycare in early July and I had a long talk with our ped yesterday to talk through my concerns, and it was very very helpful. It's certainly not without risk, but your pediatrician will be able to help you understand the risks and help you make an informed decision.

[Anonymous]

What is your longer term plan? If you did the camp, would you then return to your parents' house to live? If so, you really should quarantine at your house for 2 weeks before returning, can you manage that? Be honest. If you are planning to return, your parents should also get a say in this.

How far is your home from your parents? I also have an 8-year-old and am sympathetic. There just isn't a substitute for seeing friends in person at that age. I have an 11-year-old who has been much more satisfied with facetime and online chatting, but my younger one isn't. We are not doing camp but have buddied up with one family and are doing outdoor playdates without masks or social distancing. Everyone is making their own decisions right now. Can you return home for a week or so and give her a chance to see 1-2 of her friends in your backyard instead of camp?

That said, plenty of people are sending their kids to camp. I do think, since she now knows that camp is an option, you should think about what you can offer her if you do not send her to camp, since it sounds like she'll be extremely disappointed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would send her. Maybe just for two weeks or so? Can one of you go home with her and let the other parent stay behind with the younger child? I’ve only recently started seeing how this is impacting my kids, and I’ll just say I don’t think the continued social isolation is good for them.

This was my thought, too. If possible, have one parent go home with her, since that parent can work during the day while daughter is at camp. The other stays with the younger child and grandparents, to keep the childcare help.

I also agree with the posters above about mental health. Yes, she'll survive, and yes, kids and families all over the world have it much harder. That doesn't mean it's good for her mental health. Childhood is so short as it is; let her enjoy her summer where she can. Who knows what Fall might be like?

I would do something similar to this. Could DH and DS stay and just you and daughter go back for 1 or 2 weeks. that would be a good compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is absolutely no way on Earth that I would leave the paradise of childcare help you are living in for the situation we are in now. Sorry, but no to 8 year old. Absolutely not.

+1
She might be sad, but I would not give up the situation you have now. What will you do with your other kid while she's at camp? Will you have to quarantine again to return to your parents? Just, no.