Trying to convince husband to have a third baby

[Anonymous]

I am not sure if this is the right forum to post, but has anyone successfully convinced their husband to have another baby? My second is quickly approaching one, and I would like to have another baby before I turn 36, which is next year. I always wanted three children, and I really don't think I'll be happy if we don't have another. However, my husband said he is content with two. We are having a family meeting to discuss this topic in a couple advice. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Come prepared to field $$, space, and logistics questions.

[Anonymous]

As long as you can afford it! But don’t do it unless he’s on board because it will lead to resentment.

[Anonymous]

Learn to be happy with 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Come prepared to field $$, space, and logistics questions.

This.

Also, never ever start down the path of you will do all the work for #3. That’s a recipe for resentment.

However, showing you’ve given some thought to planning our finances, bedrooms, childcare, logistics, etc is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure if this is the right forum to post, but has anyone successfully convinced their husband to have another baby? My second is quickly approaching one, and I would like to have another baby before I turn 36, which is next year. I always wanted three children, and I really don't think I'll be happy if we don't have another. However, my husband said he is content with two. We are having a family meeting to discuss this topic in a couple advice. Any advice?

Why are you not content with the two you have? so having 2 doesn't make you happy but having 3 would? and your youngest is only a year old? Are you serious????

You should not forced anyone to have a child, even your husband!!!

[Anonymous]

Why do you want a 3rd child? How old is DH?

[Anonymous]

I was about to say to be prepared to offer to do the heavy lifting on #3 but someone upthread said that's a bad idea

[Anonymous]

How is life with 2? Things running smoothly? Everyone getting enough sleep? You and DH getting enough couple time as well as “me time”.

[Anonymous]

I think trying to “convince” him is a recipe for disaster. Listen just as carefully to his reasons for not wanting another and give them just as much validity as your reasons for wanting another.

IMO the person who does not want another should have the say. You already have two - why is that not enough?

[Anonymous]

I convinced my DH to have a third. At first he was neutral about having 2 or 3; then when he realized I was trying to convince him he became adamantly opposed to a third. When he finally saw that I would absolutely respect his wishes to stick with two, but that I would feel a sense of loss because I’d always envisioned three, he became open to it. Once we started trying he was TOTALLY on board and super excited.

Money was not an issue for us, so that was less of a factor, and we have a somewhat larger gap between kids (a little over 3 years) so we had a good chunk of time out of the baby phase before diving into it again.

[Anonymous]

Wait till this pandemic is over. Pregnancy during covid sucks so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think trying to “convince” him is a recipe for disaster. Listen just as carefully to his reasons for not wanting another and give them just as much validity as your reasons for wanting another.

IMO the person who does not want another should have the say. You already have two - why is that not enough?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure if this is the right forum to post, but has anyone successfully convinced their husband to have another baby? My second is quickly approaching one, and I would like to have another baby before I turn 36, which is next year. I always wanted three children, and I really don't think I'll be happy if we don't have another. However, my husband said he is content with two. We are having a family meeting to discuss this topic in a couple advice. Any advice?

Your husband cannot have a baby. However, you can do anything you want with your own body.

[Anonymous]

You can ask and you can tell him why you would like another, but you don’t convince someone to raise an entire additional life if they don’t want to. That’s a recipe for resentment that will come out when things get hard.