Hierarchy of living arrangements during quarantine

[Anonymous]

My friend and I were talking about the living situations that were the best/worst now. Agree?

living with your new partner
living with your long time partner (my friend)
living with your partner + kids (me now)
living alone
young adult living with your parents
living with roommates

Obviously I'm not talking about truly unfortunate situations, like shelters and other facilities, just other lucky 30 somethings like us.

[Anonymous]

No way. For me living alone is perfect. I don't want to share quarters with anyone right now.

[Anonymous]

I would think it would be different for everyone. I know some who are having quite a bit of fun with their roommates. I know some who need more than just their long term spouse (despite having an excellent relationship).

If one tends towards being an introvert, then they might prefer being alone or with one person but not i a large group house. For others, the large group house would e the perfect arrangements.

Ages and stages and number of children matter too.

[Anonymous]

It totally depends. Is there an outdoor space? More than one room? Is anyone an essential worker who is leaving the house on a daily basis or is everyone at home all the time? Etc.

[Anonymous]

50s female here, living with:
* husband of 20 years
* three kids (20, 18, 15)
* oldest kid's sig. other (kind of a refugee-not sure of the whole story)

I crave some solitude so the good news is that I am exercising outside A LOT. Long walks and runs daily.

I get up super early just to kind of be alone in my house.

I guess it's the best and worst of times. If any of my kids were not with me, I would be a wreck, but it's a lot to have everyone 24/7.

[Anonymous]

My ideal would be to live with DH and 3 y/o DS...and a live in nanny. Too bad, I don't have a nanny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend and I were talking about the living situations that were the best/worst now. Agree?

living with your new partner
living with your long time partner (my friend)
living with your partner + kids (me now)
living alone
young adult living with your parents
living with roommates

Obviously I'm not talking about truly unfortunate situations, like shelters and other facilities, just other lucky 30 somethings like us.

I'm glad I'm not negotiating this in a new relationships. DH and I have had 13 years to figure out how to talk to each other. And I like my kids, they add work, but they're worth it. They help provide some perspective and a lot of distractions. So, I'd put your option (kids + long term partner) at the top. I think it's weird you left off people who are alone with their kids, single parents, medical spouses where the spouse is staying separately, people with deployed spouses.

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert, and my normal schedule was perfect. I work from home, DH goes to work, kiddo goes to school. Although it was more hectic, I had my alone time to recharge, and I was energized for when everyone was together. This is really hard, for that reason. DH is at higher risk, so none of us have ventured out much. I'm never alone, and the constant noise in the house is driving me insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an introvert, and my normal schedule was perfect. I work from home, DH goes to work, kiddo goes to school. Although it was more hectic, I had my alone time to recharge, and I was energized for when everyone was together. This is really hard, for that reason. DH is at higher risk, so none of us have ventured out much. I'm never alone, and the constant noise in the house is driving me insane.

Exact same here. It's making me positively crazy.

[Anonymous]

I’m divorced with an older child who stays every other week (or more often) and a SO with kids of his own he has most of the time. I think I have the perfect setup. Some alone time, some kid time, some time with the SO. Works for me! Only downside is my work has been nuts, but I am thankful to still have a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an introvert, and my normal schedule was perfect. I work from home, DH goes to work, kiddo goes to school. Although it was more hectic, I had my alone time to recharge, and I was energized for when everyone was together. This is really hard, for that reason. DH is at higher risk, so none of us have ventured out much. I'm never alone, and the constant noise in the house is driving me insane.

treat yourself to noise cancelling headphones

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an introvert, and my normal schedule was perfect. I work from home, DH goes to work, kiddo goes to school. Although it was more hectic, I had my alone time to recharge, and I was energized for when everyone was together. This is really hard, for that reason. DH is at higher risk, so none of us have ventured out much. I'm never alone, and the constant noise in the house is driving me insane.

Exact same here. It's making me positively crazy.

+1 - Looking forward to normal life so I can have alone time again! DD6 was being clingy this weekend and I felt suffocated.

[Anonymous]

I'm living with my child who is here half time-so that's one more scenario and it's fine.

It seems like many 20 somethings living with roommates are having a great time.

[Anonymous]

It depends what your criteria is. Being stuck in the house with your kids while trying to work from home is a lot more stressful than working from home without kids, but it is more rewarding as well.

[Anonymous]

My friend has 4 kids- the 3 older ones are in college or recently graduated, and they are all home together. She never dreamed that she would have all this time with everyone together again, and she is incredibly grateful. I don’t fully know what the kids’ perspectives are, but I do know that the older ones are sad to say goodbye when they leave home after holidays, etc. in normal times, so it’s probably not awful for them.

I don’t know if I would want to be plunged into this situation with a new partner, for the health of the relationship. I can’t imagine going through it with roommates unless they are good friends or very chill.