Hierarchy of living arrangements during quarantine
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Anonymous
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living with your spouse
living with your new partner living alone living with roommates young adult living with your parents living with your partner + kids Maybe it also depends on kid's ages. I have 3 under 5 and we both telework. I also think working people have it harder than people who don't work and are being paid. |
Anonymous
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I think we're in a pretty good situation.
Living with partner and one kid, too young to have to do distance learning, AND one grandparent who watches the kid during the day. Everyone gets along, no paying daycare without getting childcare coverage, both parents are able to work remotely. Plus I have my mom under my roof, which was important in the beginning when she wanted to be the one run errands and grocery shop and go to the gym. (Now she's taking it more seriously.) |
Anonymous
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My situation is pretty great. DH and I both working remotely. One 16 year old at home who is old enough to do distance learning on her own. Spends most of her downtime scrolling tiktok and watching Netflix but that’s ok. She cooks dinner three times per week and takes walks with us. Very easy to live with. We recently finished our basement so people can hang out down there if they need alone time or a break.
20 year old kid came home for a few weeks when school shut down, but decided to go back to her college town and her apartment early April. Usually shares the place with three other girls but now it’s just her and one other roommate. She is really enjoying herself. |
Anonymous
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I would reorganize your list a bit.
living with your long time partner- I can imagine it would be great to have a couple months to focus on each other. We're also comfortable with living each other so nothing to negotiate or figure out. living with roommates- I had great roommates in my 20s in a nice apt that we were able to afford (due to being roommates). It would be fun- binge watching TV and day drinking. living with new partner- I wouldn't want to negotiate living with a new person, especially when you can't really leave. But it could be interesting, you're with a partner, and regular sex. living with your partner + kids- I love my kids but I don't always love living with them, especially for weeks on end with no escape. living alone- I'm not an extrovert but regular in-person human interaction is important to me. After the first 2 weeks, it would be too quiet. young adult living with your parents- My parents and I have very different ways of living. It would not be enjoyable for any one of us. |
Anonymous
My friend has a live-in Au Pair and I am so jealous |
Anonymous
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I think living with your spouse and kids is best if -
You have a happy and strong marriage. Your kids do not have any health or other issues. You have space. Everyone is healthy, happy, functioning and there is no discord. You do not have any other stressors. |
Anonymous
| So much for single parents |
Anonymous
This is basically me, minus the significant other of the oldest/refugee. So I have a question, a serious one meant with zero snark. Why is there someone living in your house and you're not sure of the whole story of why they are there? At least that's how I read that. |
Anonymous
What about teleworking full time with no daycare? We are a very happy family, but cannot telework with our children. No one is happy at all. |
Anonymous
I am a SAHM in a great marriage and with HS kids. My kids are learning online and my DH teleworks. We have a SFH with a very nice yard. We catch up with friends on zoom or FT. We are absolutely enjoying this lockdown. DH had a gruelling commute so he is really loving working from home. My kids are in a highly rigorous academic program with a long commute too so they are thankful that things are a bit easier. The lockdown has been a blessing in disguise and we all feel rested and happy. The only additional work for me has been cooking lavish meals for the family because we don't want to miss eating out. |
Anonymous
Yes, that is tough and it is a stressor. 
Job loss, childcare loss, eldercare, essential home repairs, financial uncertainty etc are stressors in my book. My kids are teens and I am a SAHM. DH is in secure job and we are financially ok. We have been able to handle this seamlessly but then we are a happy functional family. I cannot imagine being stuck in a lockdown when there is abuse/addiction/adultery in your marriage, dysfunction in family or kids are acting up or need care. |
Anonymous
| Age of the kids matters ...a lot. Home with a baby and toddler and both parents working goes to the bottom of the list. |
Anonymous
| Divorced Mom with a teen son and plenty of money to order everything delivered. I think I am at the top of the list...so many of my married friends are going out of their minds with their DH’s in their space all the time or wanting quiet for conference calls...particularly the SAHMs or PT/Flex schedule ones. |
Anonymous
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This reminds me of something my favorite advice columnist, Carolyn Hax says:
Of the four possible combinations, happily married, unhappily married, happily single, and unhappily single, unhappily married is by far the worst. That's what this comes down to for me. I'm thanking my lucky stars every day that I'm so happily married. Being unhappily married right now would be just AWFUL. |
Anonymous
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Living at home with young children attempting to distance learning would be at the bottom of my list.
Living at home with high school aged children doing distance learning has not been that bad though. |