I am loving quarantine, but no good way to admit it?

[Anonymous]

First let me say, that I completely recognize how privileged and lucky I am to be in this position and feel very grateful. We are donating money to places helping those less fortunate in this downturn, supporting our local businesses, etc. I completely get that this is devastating for many people and businesses. Which does not negate that for me personally, I have been feeling at peace for weeks in a way I have not for years.

I am working full time as is my husband, and we have two kids, so we’re managing the online schooling, which has been challenging. We’re doing occasional virtual happy hours and keeping in touch with friends by text and phone. But the running around busy-ness and the social activities and the commuting and everything that drives me crazy is gone. I have time and patience, I’m being honest with friends if I just don’t feel like doing something social, I just decline and catch them next time instead of pushing myself into a bunch of stuff I don’t want to do. I’m doing activities I love in my house, playing games with the kids and catching up on housework.

My anxiety and light depression is gone - there’s no overwhelming choice of what I SHOULD be doing. I am release from the guilt of just doing what I want, which for the most part is a slow and simple life with the people I love. I buy only what I need and then don’t think about what I want. I’m not overwhelmed with social interaction. I’m very introverted and it exhausts me, but I feel pressured to go out and have fun and keep up with a bunch of friends.

I have had to have the same conversation with several friends and coworkers - “how are you holding up?” They’ll say and share their stories about how they miss regular life and they’re being driven up the walls and their kids won’t do their work, and I’m not overly honest, but generally say I’m surprised that I’m enjoying it so much. And it’s kind of a conversation killer. “You aren’t missing going out and hugging friends? Your kids aren’t driving you crazy?” No, they’re really not - I’m loving having so much time with them, helping them with work and watching them be creative in finding things to do. I almost feel pressure to be miserable and feel a lack of connection with my friends that I’m not sharing in their misery.

I went to be authentic in how I’m feeling and mostly, I want to continue this feeling to the degree possible when this over. I’m realizing no one else I know is feeling this way and it’s isolating but also worrisome - how do I not get sucked back into the busy busy busy extrovert thing that makes me so miserable in “regular” life.

Anyone else feeling this way? How will you hold on to some of these lessons learned from this period if so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First let me say, that I completely recognize how privileged and lucky I am to be in this position and feel very grateful. We are donating money to places helping those less fortunate in this downturn, supporting our local businesses, etc. I completely get that this is devastating for many people and businesses. Which does not negate that for me personally, I have been feeling at peace for weeks in a way I have not for years.

I am working full time as is my husband, and we have two kids, so we’re managing the online schooling, which has been challenging. We’re doing occasional virtual happy hours and keeping in touch with friends by text and phone. But the running around busy-ness and the social activities and the commuting and everything that drives me crazy is gone. I have time and patience, I’m being honest with friends if I just don’t feel like doing something social, I just decline and catch them next time instead of pushing myself into a bunch of stuff I don’t want to do. I’m doing activities I love in my house, playing games with the kids and catching up on housework.

My anxiety and light depression is gone - there’s no overwhelming choice of what I SHOULD be doing. I am release from the guilt of just doing what I want, which for the most part is a slow and simple life with the people I love. I buy only what I need and then don’t think about what I want. I’m not overwhelmed with social interaction. I’m very introverted and it exhausts me, but I feel pressured to go out and have fun and keep up with a bunch of friends.

I have had to have the same conversation with several friends and coworkers - “how are you holding up?” They’ll say and share their stories about how they miss regular life and they’re being driven up the walls and their kids won’t do their work, and I’m not overly honest, but generally say I’m surprised that I’m enjoying it so much. And it’s kind of a conversation killer. “You aren’t missing going out and hugging friends? Your kids aren’t driving you crazy?” No, they’re really not - I’m loving having so much time with them, helping them with work and watching them be creative in finding things to do. I almost feel pressure to be miserable and feel a lack of connection with my friends that I’m not sharing in their misery.

I went to be authentic in how I’m feeling and mostly, I want to continue this feeling to the degree possible when this over. I’m realizing no one else I know is feeling this way and it’s isolating but also worrisome - how do I not get sucked back into the busy busy busy extrovert thing that makes me so miserable in “regular” life.

Anyone else feeling this way? How will you hold on to some of these lessons learned from this period if so?

No.

[Anonymous]

Your life seriously sucked before if you are enjoying this current situation. Anyone who had a good life before does not enjoy this period.

[Anonymous]

Yes!!! Same here, OP. You said it well. I am loving this time. And trying to do for those who might be struggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First let me say, that I completely recognize how privileged and lucky I am to be in this position and feel very grateful. We are donating money to places helping those less fortunate in this downturn, supporting our local businesses, etc. I completely get that this is devastating for many people and businesses. Which does not negate that for me personally, I have been feeling at peace for weeks in a way I have not for years.

I am working full time as is my husband, and we have two kids, so we’re managing the online schooling, which has been challenging. We’re doing occasional virtual happy hours and keeping in touch with friends by text and phone. But the running around busy-ness and the social activities and the commuting and everything that drives me crazy is gone. I have time and patience, I’m being honest with friends if I just don’t feel like doing something social, I just decline and catch them next time instead of pushing myself into a bunch of stuff I don’t want to do. I’m doing activities I love in my house, playing games with the kids and catching up on housework.

My anxiety and light depression is gone - there’s no overwhelming choice of what I SHOULD be doing. I am release from the guilt of just doing what I want, which for the most part is a slow and simple life with the people I love. I buy only what I need and then don’t think about what I want. I’m not overwhelmed with social interaction. I’m very introverted and it exhausts me, but I feel pressured to go out and have fun and keep up with a bunch of friends.

I have had to have the same conversation with several friends and coworkers - “how are you holding up?” They’ll say and share their stories about how they miss regular life and they’re being driven up the walls and their kids won’t do their work, and I’m not overly honest, but generally say I’m surprised that I’m enjoying it so much. And it’s kind of a conversation killer. “You aren’t missing going out and hugging friends? Your kids aren’t driving you crazy?” No, they’re really not - I’m loving having so much time with them, helping them with work and watching them be creative in finding things to do. I almost feel pressure to be miserable and feel a lack of connection with my friends that I’m not sharing in their misery.

I went to be authentic in how I’m feeling and mostly, I want to continue this feeling to the degree possible when this over. I’m realizing no one else I know is feeling this way and it’s isolating but also worrisome - how do I not get sucked back into the busy busy busy extrovert thing that makes me so miserable in “regular” life.

Anyone else feeling this way? How will you hold on to some of these lessons learned from this period if so?

No.

+1. No definitely not.

[Anonymous]

So stop going out so much when this is over. Done.

[Anonymous]

I get it. I’m loving not having an hour-long commute each way, and spending more time with my husband and dog (no kids). It’s just a more relaxed way of life, like being in old times. Everyone was so over scheduled before. Why is being sooo busy a point of pride?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your life seriously sucked before if you are enjoying this current situation. Anyone who had a good life before does not enjoy this period.

NP here. I feel like OP. Have a very good life before this period, but also really happy to spend more time with my family now.

I think it is a function of having financial security, education, good health and a great family life.

[Anonymous]

Not really and I love being home usually. The uncertainty is very stressful. Dh and I both still have jobs and are getting paid and our kids are too small to need online school work. But I'm worried about others and places of business in my community. That causes me stress since I'm generally an empathetic. My daycare is closed and teachers are not getting paid. I talked with the lead teacher today and she's not coming back to our daycare because she didn't like how they handled things and now she will lose her housing too so I'm working out with some other families what we can do for her.
I think you were sucked into the busyness before the pandemic and thought that is was all necessary and now you have an easy out of it. A good lesson for you that you don't need all that stuff for you and your family to be content.
I miss having impromptu dinners with my friends in our back yard. The weather has been lovely and any other time we would have had people over twice a week or more. That's what I miss the most. Having in person contact with friends and seeing my kid happy running around with other kids and hugging them without care.

[Anonymous]

No. Just keep your thoughts to yourself. Not every stupid feeling needs to be shared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your life seriously sucked before if you are enjoying this current situation. Anyone who had a good life before does not enjoy this period.

Another classic “if you don’t feel like I do then you are wrong/suck/worthless” DCUM post.

OP, you are 100% allowed to be loving life right now. I’m happy for you! Don’t let these miserable witches try to make you feel bad.

[Anonymous]

You were doing life wrong if a pandemic quarantine has made your life better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your life seriously sucked before if you are enjoying this current situation. Anyone who had a good life before does not enjoy this period.

NP here. I feel like OP. Have a very good life before this period, but also really happy to spend more time with my family now.

I think it is a function of having financial security, education, good health and a great family life.

The fact that you fee you did not have enough time to spend with family before means your regular life is not good. Really sad that it took lockdown for you to realize that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were doing life wrong if a pandemic quarantine has made your life better.

No, the American way of work was doing it wrong, insisting that everyone needed their butt in an office chair 5 days a week.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am loving it too. I think my whole family will look back on this time fondly. We are all getting along and I am enjoying the slow days.
But I also realize how privileged I am to be able to enjoy it.

It’s also helpful when I put way back in my mind the possibilities of me and/or DH losing our jobs and our parents dying from this. Both of which could happen.